Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
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Sounds like the vegan police saw her in burger king and feigning ignorance was the best lie she could come up with...
Then again... muchies
Then again... muchies
What do you call someone always trying to find the positive aspect of a situation?
A Polly-annalist.
A Polly-annalist.
This is a true story but I'm putting it here because it's so funny.
One of our guys went hunting this weekend. His daughter is 9 years old. He asked her if she knew what hunting was (meaning what all is involved). Her response was "Yea, it's when you go to the mountains and come back without food."
One of our guys went hunting this weekend. His daughter is 9 years old. He asked her if she knew what hunting was (meaning what all is involved). Her response was "Yea, it's when you go to the mountains and come back without food."
A full story in PDF form, its been floating like a big piece of poo on the internet for twenty years now, SO If you've never heard of the legend of the "Mall ninja" be prepared for a gut laugh!
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She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am And have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would Make a hooker blush.
When they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess,
"I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK.
My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am And have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would Make a hooker blush.
When they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess,
"I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK.
My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.
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- Joined
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Well there is one good thing about old age. It doesn’t last long.
Sometimes it lasts way to long.
Said MY DAD!! I remember it well, I was probably 4 years old! He GOT a ticket!!
I married her when she wasn't looking
oh the memories
. I think I read it the first time at 1200 baud.
Weren't you pleased that you were reading it 4 times faster than your friends at 300 baud?oh the memories
For those that have no idea about this, count your blessings.
I spent big bux to graduate from 300 to 1500 baud
. 5X faster!All of my friends wanted to borrow that modem
.Similar to this:
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I finally got a Hayes. Hayes Microcomputer Products - Wikipedia
Now i yell when a file takes seconds., I remember downloading netscape, it took ALL NIGHT, something like 10 MB
My first computer was a Sinclair ZX81. ZX 81 Sinclair. the high school had trash 80's. TRS 80 MODEL I Tandy Radio Shack
. Hayes Microcomputer Products - WikipediaNow i yell when a file takes seconds., I remember downloading netscape, it took ALL NIGHT, something like 10 MB
My first computer was a Sinclair ZX81. ZX 81 Sinclair. the high school had trash 80's. TRS 80 MODEL I Tandy Radio Shack
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I started with the predecessor to one of these (it was much larger):
110 baud, if I remember right. We could check them out from work and take them home to play games in the evening.
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"You are in a cave with a stream to the south and a passage to the east"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"Go south"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"There is a ravine with a bridge to your west, and a dark tunnel in the east wall"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"Go West"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
...
110 baud, if I remember right. We could check them out from work and take them home to play games in the evening.
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"You are in a cave with a stream to the south and a passage to the east"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"Go south"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"There is a ravine with a bridge to your west, and a dark tunnel in the east wall"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
"Go West"
Clackity, clackity, clack.
...
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yeah, 110. we had those state of the fossils at work
I died of dysentary on the oregon trail in text
I killed cyberdemon.
Robbers are attacking the wagon, type BANG. B A N too late your dead. That is about as far as I ever got.I died of dysentary on the oregon trail in text
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