Jokes and Humor

[Weedygarden]

View attachment 102090

Ever go to a funeral of someone who once worked for some part of a telephone company? I have. Or know someone who worked for the telephone company? Some of them collected the different versions of phones. Someone whose funeral I went to had a bunch of old phones on display. He installed phones for years.

 

[Wingnut]

Hey, Joel, my family HAD those old rotary dial phones! And NO, I don't think ANYBODY ever waited in line, lol...

Those things were great, the handsets were like murder weapons, lol... you could easily bludgeon someone to death with one of those primitive handsets. Or you could BASH holes in drywall with one of those handsets, probably while drunk and angry, lol... I distinctly remember simply TOSSING one of those handsets ANYWHERE when I needed to go retrieve something, those things could land on CONCRETE and the 'crete would be what CRACKED, lol.

 

[joel]

In the 1960's my four year old brother called it the "Hello".

 

[bkt]

Those things were great, the handsets were like murder weapons, lol... you could easily bludgeon someone to death with one of those primitive handsets. Or you could BASH holes in drywall with one of those handsets, probably while drunk and angry, lol...

Fact-check true.

I nearly killed myself answering the phone too quickly and smacked myself in the jaw with the handset. Nearly lost some teeth. And drywall (or plaster) doesn't stand a chance if you lose control of one of these things on the cord...it can retract quickly and install a new Saturday morning project into your schedule really quickly. God help you if you're drunk or angry at the time...it could take all weekend to repair.

 

[Amish Heart]

I liked those old phones. And the curly cord.

 

[Caribou]

Fact-check true.

I nearly killed myself answering the phone too quickly and smacked myself in the jaw with the handset. Nearly lost some teeth. And drywall (or plaster) doesn't stand a chance if you lose control of one of these things on the cord...it can retract quickly and install a new Saturday morning project into your schedule really quickly. God help you if you're drunk or angry at the time...it could take all weekend to repair.

Yes, but you could still call the lumberyard and have the sheetrock delivered.

 

[rusty]

NOMINATED THE BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . It's 11:00 AM on a Wednesday.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America .." The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !
That person puts up his hand and says,
"I am from Middle East. I am not American."
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?”
She says, "No, I am from Africa .."
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says:
"Probably at work."
IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS, BY TOMORROW, YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE.

 

[Lenny]

There were face to face conversations, true. Intelligent? Meh...if you were lucky.

I guess I was lucky.

 

[Lenny]

Yep. In Sioux City, Iowa the local drug store sent the film 100 miles away to Omaha, Nebraska.

And no cell phones. You weren't standing next to each other texting, you were actually having intelligent conversations.

Here's a picture I came across yesterday:

 

[rusty]

Here's a picture I came across yesterday:

View attachment 102115

My town was too small for one of those. I got my film developed at a drug store for 88 cents a roll.

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Lenny]

View attachment 102123

Back in 1959 and 1960 I took a 12 gauge shotgun to grade school to go hunting after class. She had me put it in the cloak room. I was 12 and then 13 years old at the time.

 

[Weedygarden]

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him.
He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days....... all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint.

 

[joel]

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him.
He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days....... all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint.

Booster the Roaster!

 

[dademoss]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[Lenny]

View attachment 102196

Thanks for the warning! LOL

 

[dademoss]

 

[jazzy]

if it was me id add a laundry mat to that

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[jazzy]

i love this word the left made up, do we need t shirts? you know they are talking bout anyone who doesnt drink their koolaid

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[dademoss]