Anybody want a donut?
We have donuts.
Have a donut...
Ok, that's more of a cinnamon-roll.
We have donuts.
Have a donut...
Ok, that's more of a cinnamon-roll.
Last edited:
Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
- Start date
Help Support Homesteading & Country Living Forum:
From over yonder.. This is both Hilarious.. and Infuriating.. 
It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards." For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. (You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving, and burned her..... Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?!?!?)
Our great country is being destroyed by idiots. Here are some classic examples. I guess if you’re an idiot and go to trial before a jury of your peers, a jury of idiots is in order! That's right, these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head, and/or say WT?? So, keep your head scratcher handy!
Here are the Stella's for this year:
SEVENTH PLACE
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
SIXTH PLACE
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
FIFTH PLACE
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, CT, was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned, and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more.
FOURTH PLACE
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next-door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
THIRD PLACE
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
SECOND PLACE
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
FIRST PLACE
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed, and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her... are you sitting down? $1,750,000, plus a new motor home. Winnebago changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
<facepalm with a Planet>
jd
It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards." For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. (You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving, and burned her.....
Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?!?!?)Our great country is being destroyed by idiots. Here are some classic examples. I guess if you’re an idiot and go to trial before a jury of your peers, a jury of idiots is in order! That's right, these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head, and/or say WT
?? So, keep your head scratcher handy!Here are the Stella's for this year:
SEVENTH PLACE
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
SIXTH PLACE
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
FIFTH PLACE
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, CT, was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned, and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more.
FOURTH PLACE
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next-door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
THIRD PLACE
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
SECOND PLACE
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
FIRST PLACE
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed, and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her... are you sitting down? $1,750,000, plus a new motor home. Winnebago changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
<facepalm with a Planet>
jd
I'd have taken the tire and lock too, I have power tools
s.
This time of year around the Anchorage radio stations you hear this advertising jungle.
If your puppy poop is starting to thaw,
337-POOP is the number to call.
If your puppy poop is starting to thaw,
337-POOP is the number to call.
48 second video, full screen.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2017
- Messages
- 11,711
I had this happen to my small Nissan pick up truck(1996), my tire Jumped the median crossed two lines & landed on the shoulder, after rolling 50 feet or so. We replaced the broken studs & drove on as if nothing had happen, no other cars were in sight when the tire let go.
Wow
Know right where that is, Drove that Freeway / stretch quite often.. Crazy, but honestly - that could have turned out a LOT worse... jd
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2017
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- 4,142
I was doing some calculations on how many yards of gravel I needed. My wife said something and then I finished up and said sorry I couldn't hear you I was concentrating. She said wow, I wish I could think about just one thing at a time.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2017
- Messages
- 11,711
I know it is a Joke, but you took a cube yard & divide it by how many inches of gravel you need??
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