Jokes and Humor

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[SoulSeeker]

A man on vacation cruising the back roads looking for out of the way antique stores. He finds one and in the window are 3 jars with a brain in each one. The first one is priced $50. The second is $100. The third one is $5000! asking inside he's told the first is a rocket scientist brain and well used. The second belonged to a college professor and well worn as well. The last brain belonged to a Democrat and has never been used!

 

[dademoss]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[d_marsh]

 

[Bacpacker]

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And that is why my back is trashed. Use to work at a TV repair shop

 

[Haertig]

And in other news, trash pandas have been reclassified as monkeys and promoted to primate status.

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Tim Horton]

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This while facing away from you, talking into a corner, drawer, or closet or such, or with water running... It must be because they can hear themselves talking you are supposed to be able to also..

 

[Pearl]

==
This while facing away from you, talking into a corner, drawer, or closet or such, or with water running... It must be because they can hear themselves talking you are supposed to be able to also..

Men just don't listen,

 

[bkt]

Men just don't listen,

I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

 

[Lenny]

Men just don't listen,

What did you say?

 

[Pearl]

What did you say?

You guys missed out....I said free beer and pizza

 

[Lenny]

You guys missed out....I said free beer and pizza

You live 800 miles away. I'll be there in 10 minutes!!!

 

[Pearl]

You live 800 miles away. I'll be there in 10 minutes!!!

Hi Lenny, you got here fast!! Come on in!! Hey, where's my free beer and pizza you were supposed to bring?? See, men don't listen or read minds!!

 

[Snowman]

You guys missed out....I said free beer and pizza

Never have I heard that...NEVER...

 

[Lenny]

Hi Lenny, you got here fast!! Come on in!! Hey, where's my free beer and pizza you were supposed to bring?? See, men don't listen or read minds!!

Oh, darn. Gotta go back to Iowa and get them. I'll be back in 19 or 20 minutes.

 

[Cascadian]

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My wife does that. It used to really annoy me. Now I just make up answers to amuse myself like I got 3 at Walmart or hell yeah, wear the red neglige. She stomps back in what did you say? I reply oh I don't know what did you say?

 

[SoulSeeker]

My standard was "I'll have mine toasted" or "yes one more beer and that's it". I was very familiar with every inch of that couch.