Don't you just hate it when you go shopping and an octopus attacks you?
Man! I just hate when that happens!
Man! I just hate when that happens!
Just for Laughs
- Thread starter Dani
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Nothing since Tuesday?
I been slacking.
Time to stomp on grandma's birthday cake
TSA Nazi. LOL
Well, we found that noise under the hood of your car 
:
The reaction of the 2 guys is priceless!!!
:The reaction of the 2 guys is priceless!!!
Well I always knew farts were flammable... but explosive??
True story, I was installing a catscan in atlanta. I heard the pipe bombs in sandy springs planted by Rudolf. I was working in a nearby medical office park.
A few days later I heard another boom, much closer, the office park lost power. Uh-oh!
it was loud!!! I happened to be outside, could see the small power distribution building. Nothing seemed amiss, just a cleaning cart by the door so I went to investigate.
As I get to the door a cleaning guy was coming out, looked in shock. Seemed to be trying to say something but was stuttering so badly I couldn’t understand. Took a couple minutes... when he could finally speak he said “I Quit!”
Thought, why's he telling me? I don't know this guy? He didn't want help and never told me what happened, just got in his car and left.
It wasn’t hard to figure out though… the guy had a long dusting wand in his hand when he came out. Inside the room one of the big power panel doors had been blown open. Inside it I noticed signs of arcing. A ‘knock out slug’ that had a burn mark was on the floor. I looked on top of the panel. The dust had been disturbed, there were several flat knockout slugs on top…. by the vents...
I died laughing….
Moral of the story, don't drop knockout slugs into a power panel!
A few days later I heard another boom, much closer, the office park lost power. Uh-oh!
it was loud!!! I happened to be outside, could see the small power distribution building. Nothing seemed amiss, just a cleaning cart by the door so I went to investigate.As I get to the door a cleaning guy was coming out, looked in shock. Seemed to be trying to say something but was stuttering so badly I couldn’t understand. Took a couple minutes... when he could finally speak he said “I Quit!”
Thought, why's he telling me? I don't know this guy? He didn't want help and never told me what happened, just got in his car and left.It wasn’t hard to figure out though… the guy had a long dusting wand in his hand when he came out. Inside the room one of the big power panel doors had been blown open. Inside it I noticed signs of arcing. A ‘knock out slug’ that had a burn mark was on the floor. I looked on top of the panel. The dust had been disturbed, there were several flat knockout slugs on top…. by the vents...
I died laughing….
Moral of the story, don't drop knockout slugs into a power panel!
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Also happened that same week… Everyone in atlanta was paranoid after 2 bombing in 6 months. The power panel ‘boom’ didn’t settle any nerves either!
I was leaving work one afternoon. A couple of people seemed to be staring at something by a building so I walked over. It was a small card board box against the wall. They said they’d called the police.
To me it looked like a box that commercial paint came in, like wine in a box. Turns out that’s what it was, a paint box. But we didn’t know that and no one was eager to find out. Until…
A bubba showed up!! 20yr old white security guard, over weight with mirrored sunglasses. He was a walking cliché. He shooed us further away from the suspected ‘bomb’.
Instead of waiting for the cops with the rest of us he got a broom. Then he used it to poke the box!!!!
I got behind a car. I was torn between an overwhelming desire to laugh at the idiot poking the bomb with a stick and the fear it might go off!!!
I was there for another 2hrs. When the cops show up with their eod guys, I, along with everyone else, were interviewed at length by detectives. About a paint box….
I was leaving work one afternoon. A couple of people seemed to be staring at something by a building so I walked over. It was a small card board box against the wall. They said they’d called the police.
To me it looked like a box that commercial paint came in, like wine in a box. Turns out that’s what it was, a paint box. But we didn’t know that and no one was eager to find out. Until…
A bubba showed up!! 20yr old white security guard, over weight with mirrored sunglasses. He was a walking cliché. He shooed us further away from the suspected ‘bomb’.
Instead of waiting for the cops with the rest of us he got a broom. Then he used it to poke the box!!!!
I got behind a car. I was torn between an overwhelming desire to laugh at the idiot poking the bomb with a stick and the fear it might go off!!!
I was there for another 2hrs. When the cops show up with their eod guys, I, along with everyone else, were interviewed at length by detectives. About a paint box….
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Working on explosive detectors at the airport was interesting.
A suite case set off the scanner alarm for an explosive device.
TSA opened the suit case and took out the item that caused the alarm.
They then put the item in a plastic tub and scanned it again.
It again indicated an explosive device so they wiped it with their pad and ran the pad through the chemical detector.
Again it detected explosives.
They called the port police. An office walked up they told her what was happening.
She picked up the item and said it's just a video camera send it on.
The TSA supervisor said you heard her so it went back in the suite case and was loaded on the international flight.
I asked the supervisor what happened if it exploded. He said it's not my problem the police cleared it.
This did not make me feel very safe and it proved all the security at the airport was just to make the sheeple feel better.
A suite case set off the scanner alarm for an explosive device.
TSA opened the suit case and took out the item that caused the alarm.
They then put the item in a plastic tub and scanned it again.
It again indicated an explosive device so they wiped it with their pad and ran the pad through the chemical detector.
Again it detected explosives.
They called the port police. An office walked up they told her what was happening.
She picked up the item and said it's just a video camera send it on.
The TSA supervisor said you heard her so it went back in the suite case and was loaded on the international flight.
I asked the supervisor what happened if it exploded. He said it's not my problem the police cleared it.
This did not make me feel very safe and it proved all the security at the airport was just to make the sheeple feel better.
Don't drink and drive.
The new blood-alcohol test will catch you ...
The new blood-alcohol test will catch you
...
Picture this, it is the night before the start of Desert Storm, some two hours before in fact. Nobody knew what the Russians were going to do and we were all humped up in the break room having a pretty heated discussion about it, be careful what you say, the gods have a sense of humor! Anyway, I was arguing with a friend who also was a religious zealot, I forget what the context was, but voices were being raised and I said "Not if the MFing Russians nuke us!" Well two seconds later a transformer about fifty feet away decided it had had enough of a BS life and exploded! this was no ordinary Transformer, it was as big as a small car! there was a blinding flash that even got into the break room and well, a very appreciable boom that literally jarred teeth loose! there was like twenty people sitting there, mouths open, eyes wide, sitting in puddles of piss! after a few seconds one of my buddies called out "Everybody check your digital watch! if it wasn't a nuke they'll still be running!" Obviously it wasn't a nuke, but the timing was god-like! Nobody spoke to me for a week!True story, I was installing a catscan in atlanta. I heard the pipe bombs in sandy springs planted by Rudolf. I was working in a nearby medical office park.
A few days later I heard another boom, much closer, the office park lost power. Uh-oh!
As I get to the door a cleaning guy was coming out, looked in shock. Seemed to be trying to say something but was stuttering so badly I couldn’t understand. Took a couple minutes... when he could finally speak he said “I Quit!”
It wasn’t hard to figure out though… the guy had a long dusting wand in his hand when he came out. Inside the room one of the big power panel doors had been blown open. Inside it I noticed signs of arcing. A ‘knock out slug’ that had a burn mark was on the floor. I looked on top of the panel. The dust had been disturbed, there were several flat knockout slugs on top…. by the vents...
I died laughing….
Moral of the story, don't drop knockout slugs into a power panel!
A tasty nugget from Germany:
https://www.foxnews.com/media/truck...ters-blocking-road-drags-one-with-his-vehicle
The common man is getting sick of their crap!
https://www.foxnews.com/media/truck...ters-blocking-road-drags-one-with-his-vehicle
The common man is getting sick of their crap!
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2012
- Messages
- 18,449
Don't drink and drive.
The new blood-alcohol test will catch you
That younger kid had it. Us older farts, not so much.
Do you know how drunk you have to be to do the buttonhole dance? those cops are absolutely blasted! o_0That younger kid had it. Us older farts, not so much.
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2012
- Messages
- 18,449
I have no idea. I havn't been pulled over for driving issues for many years now. When I was 17 I did get pulled over because I dodged a possum crossing the road on my way to Baytown to a boyfriends house.
Grandma takes her cat everywhere!
I love the ending!
I love the ending!
Don't invite a cop to a birthday party.
They will open the presents...
They will open the presents
...
Excuse me, can you open this bottle for me?
I would have already cut it open.
Supervisor, was this you?
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxiPupyPnN70KsCgUZpmZUC_ZMW5zNh5mI
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxiPupyPnN70KsCgUZpmZUC_ZMW5zNh5mI
I know of a bunch that should be locked in a cage...
It's amazing how obedient people are. When a stranger says: "walk like a duck" guess what, 
....
....
Can't figure out if this guy is a 'go getter!' or just lazy and doesn't want to make 2 trips?
This is brilliant!!!
I'll bet those Chinese tourists laugh at that poor guy for decades!
I know EXACTLY What goes on, He's a Mexican, it's his first day/week on the job, in a month you couldn't get him to wipe his own @ss. I've seen it too many times.Can't figure out if this guy is a 'go getter!' or just lazy and doesn't want to make 2 trips?
View attachment 112959
Police, dog? Yep!
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2017
- Messages
- 12,685
I know a lot of people that would love to hose me down ....
....
Why did this never happen for me?
I know a lot of people that would love to hose me down
True story:
One time I was working at this carpet mill that got a special contract for something called "GRID" it looked like a fishnet covered in dry tar, the crap was so toxic we were only allowed to run it once a month! Anyway, after the first time, we ran it, the whole coater crew got sick, we were tasting ammonia-dosed dead oysters for a week and everybody's sense of taste and smell went totally to hell! So the next time we ran the stuff, I showed up in military MOP NBC decontamination gear, just to be a wise guy, I grabbed a clipboard and walked up to the foreman and introduced myself as OSHA, and asked boss man Bill where his hazardous compound license was. the son of a b1tch turned white as a sheet and I honestly thought he was going to have a heart attack right there on the spot! he turned three shades of white and started shaking like a leaf! So I pulled my mask up and told him I was just playing and I was just getting ready to do my thing on the tenter wings, well after I got cussed out, I got to hear about being a sissy, and a spaceman/Darth Vader, yadda yadda. But come the end of the shift, I had a smoke and some dinner. everyone else was puking their guts out in the dumpster! Oh yeah, that crap was perfectly safe to run! Bull-crap! I'd have dressed up like Bozo the Clown to keep from being sick all week! I have no idea what that stuff was, but all the leftovers had to be stored in a truck way out back of the plant with "Biohazard" stickers all over it. It wasn't long after that I left that place for greener pastures.
4Q Bill.
