Old Age Question About Rural Living Alone

[tiffanysgallery]

If it helps to know... my elderly neighbor got a partial reverse mortgage when her husband was terminally ill. She used it to care for him and when he passed she left the rest of it in the bank. So far, at age 89 she hasn't had to touch it. She say's she's saving it for an emergency.

 

[Meerkat]

If it helps to know... my elderly neighbor got a partial reverse mortgage when her husband was terminally ill. She used it to care for him and when he passed she left the rest of it in the bank. So far, at age 89 she hasn't had to touch it. She say's she's saving it for an emergency.

Thank you Tif. Another good possibility.

Had another talk with hubby this morning. May as well been talking to myself he is firm on staying and not too leinant on any other ideas.
Both of us are out of order this week and it ain't fun.
Wish we could find a couple healthy seniors [ as in healthy like us, part time healthy ] people with morals and no dependent kids to come and help us and themselves. But that is rare today. Even many seniors think they are still in the 60s.

 

[MoBookworm1957]

Thank you Tif. Another good possibility.

Had another talk with hubby this morning. May as well been talking to myself he is firm on staying and not too leinant on any other ideas.
Both of us are out of order this week and it ain't fun.
Wish we could find a couple healthy seniors [ as in healthy like us, part time healthy ] people with morals and no dependent kids to come and help us and themselves. But that is rare today. Even many seniors think they are still in the 60s.

Dang Meerkat, I am 60.

 

[Amish Heart]

Just a couple more, and I'm with Mo.

 

[The Lazy L]

If it helps to know... my elderly neighbor got a partial reverse mortgage when her husband was terminally ill. She used it to care for him and when he passed she left the rest of it in the bank. So far, at age 89 she hasn't had to touch it. She say's she's saving it for an emergency.

She's paying interest on a mortgage she doesn't need? Perhaps it keeps her mind at peace knowing the money is readily available?

 

[The Lazy L]

... Wish we could find a couple healthy seniors [ as in healthy like us, part time healthy ] people with morals and no dependent kids to come and help us and themselves. ...

We hired "Visiting Angels" to keep and eye on mom after dad died until a family friend became available. Excellent organization.

 

[Meerkat]

Dang Meerkat, I am 60.

LOL, Mobook, I was talking about they act like they are still living in the 1960s sexual revolution. Did you know that senior citizens are now the leading group for STDs? Not just horny old men either.

I'm almost 69. And whatever I don't have wrong with me I don't want. I have enough to deal with as it is. :lil guy:

 

[Meerkat]

We hired "Visiting Angels" to keep and eye on mom after dad died until a family friend became available. Excellent organization.

LazyL , that is sounding better by the day. I notice a couple different groups like this is advertising now on the radio for helping seniors too.

 

[Swing]

I've thought of the visiting angels but the ones I know of here are at $25 an hour for the help. Mom cannot afford that. Today my new bed gets delivered and set up. And a desk was to be delivered yesterday, but UPS could not find the address from all indications of it passing Mom's house twice about dusk.

So, I'll be here, there and everywhere and so will my mind!

Someone mentioned their Mom getting up and down at night and napping during the day. That sounds like my Mom. Part of it is she is a Professional worrier with awards for being the worringist sister in their family. So until things are settled, she worries. She has no hobbies, and cannot do reading due to eye sight. I plan to introduce her to Audiobooks. I've discovered them and they are really good to have when all that is on TV is crap and bad news. I'd have to set it up as she cannot see the controls on a table to do it. Or put on some nice music for her, etc.

And today is Friday! Yay, Weekend. Everyone ready to do something fun?

 

[MoBookworm1957]

LOL, Mobook, I was talking about they act like they are still living in the 1960s sexual revolution. Did you know that senior citizens are now the leading group for STDs? Not just horny old men either.

I'm almost 69. And whatever I don't have wrong with me I don't want. I have enough to deal with as it is. :lil guy:

I'm with you there.

 

[MoBookworm1957]

I've thought of the visiting angels but the ones I know of here are at $25 an hour for the help. Mom cannot afford that. Today my new bed gets delivered and set up. And a desk was to be delivered yesterday, but UPS could not find the address from all indications of it passing Mom's house twice about dusk.

So, I'll be here, there and everywhere and so will my mind!

Someone mentioned their Mom getting up and down at night and napping during the day. That sounds like my Mom. Part of it is she is a Professional worrier with awards for being the worringist sister in their family. So until things are settled, she worries. She has no hobbies, and cannot do reading due to eye sight. I plan to introduce her to Audiobooks. I've discovered them and they are really good to have when all that is on TV is crap and bad news. I'd have to set it up as she cannot see the controls on a table to do it. Or put on some nice music for her, etc.

And today is Friday! Yay, Weekend. Everyone ready to do something fun?

Physical Therapy for me today, grueling hour, not.
Physical Therapist afraid she's hurting me, not.
I do twice what she does at home and started weight training too.

 

[MoBookworm1957]

Still cleaning sewing room, but I think by the end of the weekend I shall see light at end of long dark depressing tunnel.
Wahoo!
Cutting out farm animal shapes on sandpaper(so they hold their shape better and longer).
And sharpens my scissors too.
Got for 3 containers, left in closet,3 random containers left in sewing room to go through.
Dust,vacuum,hang curtains in the room-done.
Creative juices, ideas starting to flow again.
Got the sketch book out, colored pencils,ruler and protractor on the kitchen table while I work out my design idea.
Been along dry spell, little over 2 years.
Last year was really bad couldn't keep up with anything.
But now that the bigger part of clutter is gone, starting to feel better.
Decided today sometime in the near future(as soon as it stops raining,humidity drops) I going to paint my wing back chair.
Not crazy, but yes paint my wingback chair, saw the idea on Pinterest.
If it doesn't work, then I'll reupholster the dang thing.
Got stripe fabric, but hardly ever get stripes to match, so thinking all over floral in neon,bright colors .
Everybody have a great day, afternoon or evening.
I got a 5 speed truck today, yes I can drive a 5 speed. My new truck needs a little work.
Seems my oldest son received from his grandad(my dad) the coveted red GMC, that my dad bought new in 1994. This truck is pristine condition, everything works as it should, low miles too.
The reason for son received this truck, dad got a new to him truck, he bought from my youngest sister. So dad is tricking out his new truck much to my mom's dismay. Because the old truck was tricked out too.

 

[Meerkat]

I've thought of the visiting angels but the ones I know of here are at $25 an hour for the help. Mom cannot afford that. Today my new bed gets delivered and set up. And a desk was to be delivered yesterday, but UPS could not find the address from all indications of it passing Mom's house twice about dusk.

So, I'll be here, there and everywhere and so will my mind!

Someone mentioned their Mom getting up and down at night and napping during the day. That sounds like my Mom. Part of it is she is a Professional worrier with awards for being the worringist sister in their family. So until things are settled, she worries. She has no hobbies, and cannot do reading due to eye sight. I plan to introduce her to Audiobooks. I've discovered them and they are really good to have when all that is on TV is crap and bad news. I'd have to set it up as she cannot see the controls on a table to do it. Or put on some nice music for her, etc.

And today is Friday! Yay, Weekend. Everyone ready to do something fun?

Great idea Angie. I've been thinking about audio books for awhile now to listen to instead of talk radio.
If I listen to music it keeps me up singing along with it.We have a radio with A TIMER and having that timer really helps because we don't have to get up to turn the radio off and can fall asleep listening to something besides crapola going through our heads like dogs, chicken's sometimes family. I'm usually asleep in a few minutes so we set it for an hour.

 

[snappy1]

And today is Friday! Yay, Weekend. Everyone ready to do something fun?

Doing our wills online tomorrow. Fun enough? LOL Dusting and cleaning baths this afternoon, Did a little grocery shopping this morning and picked up a weedeater/ leaf blower combo that I ordered. Also need to get the alfalfa from my jeep to the shed for the goaties. Hope you all have a good weekend!

@Meerkat My mom was blind for the last 10 years of her life and she got and used audiobooks from the library of Congress. I think they sent her lists.

 

[Swing]

Great idea Angie. I've been thinking about audio books for awhile now to listen to instead of talk radio.
If I listen to music it keeps me up singing along with it.We have a radio with A TIMER and having that timer really helps because we don't have to get up to turn the radio off and can fall asleep listening to something besides crapola going through our heads like dogs, chicken's sometimes family. I'm usually asleep in a few minutes so we set it for an hour.

Audible books have a timer. I have the app on my phone, tablets, and of course the Fire tablet has it built in. I have a series of 10 books I've read about 8 times and listing to for the 4th or 5th time now. Sorta friendly background. And I can sew or crochet while listening.

 

[tiffanysgallery]

She's paying interest on a mortgage she doesn't need? Perhaps it keeps her mind at peace knowing the money is readily available?

Perhaps. She doesn't want to go to a nursing home or assistant living and wants to stay in her home. Maybe she feels the money will keep her in her house longer, idk.

 

[Meerkat]

I've thought of the visiting angels but the ones I know of here are at $25 an hour for the help. Mom cannot afford that. Today my new bed gets delivered and set up. And a desk was to be delivered yesterday, but UPS could not find the address from all indications of it passing Mom's house twice about dusk.

So, I'll be here, there and everywhere and so will my mind!

Someone mentioned their Mom getting up and down at night and napping during the day. That sounds like my Mom. Part of it is she is a Professional worrier with awards for being the worringist sister in their family. So until things are settled, she worries. She has no hobbies, and cannot do reading due to eye sight. I plan to introduce her to Audiobooks. I've discovered them and they are really good to have when all that is on TV is crap and bad news. I'd have to set it up as she cannot see the controls on a table to do it. Or put on some nice music for her, etc.

And today is Friday! Yay, Weekend. Everyone ready to do something fun?

@Angie
Angire I am not good with online so I want a CD Audio book. Also I can bring it with me on trips. Any suggestions of where to buy the CD's? I looked on search and it always is on line or app's. I don't even know what a app is and at this time in my life don't want to know. I want something I can put into a cd player and listen.

Doing our wills online tomorrow. Fun enough? LOL Dusting and cleaning baths this afternoon, Did a little grocery shopping this morning and picked up a weedeater/ leaf blower combo that I ordered. Also need to get the alfalfa from my jeep to the shed for the goaties. Hope you all have a good weekend!

@Meerkat My mom was blind for the last 10 years of her life and she got and used audiobooks from the library of Congress. I think they sent her lists.

@snappy1
I just went to the site and didn't understand it. Also I only want real world not cyber and no politics ,know anywhere I can get this?
Also if we have them on CD if shtf we an play them with battery or solar.

I read about one that sounded good. ' Where The Crawdads Sing' by, Delia Owens.

 

[snappy1]

I just went to the site and didn't understand it.

My mom did this back in the late 70's and early 80's. No online anything then. I think they sent her cassette tapes through the mail. LOL

 

[tiffanysgallery]

Our rural area has a bus that has been converted into a library on wheels. The bus stops at the elementary schools on a monthly schedule so anyone who has a library card can borrow books, DVD's, audio books, etc. Persons can call the main branch and have a library item on the bus for them to borrow the next time the bus is in their area.
When we were kids we'd borrow fifty books a month (50 was the max allowed) and read all month and when the library bus was back again we'd return fifty and borrow fifty more.

 

[Meerkat]

Our rural area has a bus that has been converted into a library on wheels. The bus stops at the elementary schools on a monthly schedule so anyone who has a library card can borrow books, DVD's, audio books, etc. Persons can call the main branch and have a library item on the bus for them to borrow the next time the bus is in their area.
When we were kids we'd borrow fifty books a month (50 was the max allowed) and read all month and when the library bus was back again we'd return fifty and borrow fifty more.

Thanks Tiff, come to think of it I think I saw audio books at our library several years ago, probably still there.

 

[Meerkat]

Still cleaning sewing room, but I think by the end of the weekend I shall see light at end of long dark depressing tunnel.
Wahoo!
Cutting out farm animal shapes on sandpaper(so they hold their shape better and longer).
And sharpens my scissors too.
Got for 3 containers, left in closet,3 random containers left in sewing room to go through.
Dust,vacuum,hang curtains in the room-done.
Creative juices, ideas starting to flow again.
Got the sketch book out, colored pencils,ruler and protractor on the kitchen table while I work out my design idea.
Been along dry spell, little over 2 years.
Last year was really bad couldn't keep up with anything.
But now that the bigger part of clutter is gone, starting to feel better.
Decided today sometime in the near future(as soon as it stops raining,humidity drops) I going to paint my wing back chair.
Not crazy, but yes paint my wingback chair, saw the idea on Pinterest.
If it doesn't work, then I'll reupholster the dang thing.
Got stripe fabric, but hardly ever get stripes to match, so thinking all over floral in neon,bright colors .
Everybody have a great day, afternoon or evening.
I got a 5 speed truck today, yes I can drive a 5 speed. My new truck needs a little work.
Seems my oldest son received from his grandad(my dad) the coveted red GMC, that my dad bought new in 1994. This truck is pristine condition, everything works as it should, low miles too.
The reason for son received this truck, dad got a new to him truck, he bought from my youngest sister. So dad is tricking out his new truck much to my mom's dismay. Because the old truck was tricked out too.

We painted some of our old furniture and it looks good. Glad your back in the swing of things Mobook.

We just found out how it is for both o us to be down at same time last couple weeks, not totally down but painfully down.
And this is why I put up the thread because we can't figure out what to do about future with both of us getting older and less capable.
These two down times are something that an be fixed ,just temporary, but what happens when something happens that can't be fixed?

 

[tiffanysgallery]

Sorry to hear about both of you being painfully down Meerkat.

It's common here for family and/or friends to care for each other when one or both are down.

There are also programs in our area that will care for a patient(s) at home. These are thru county services.
A patient asks for a referral from their primary doctor so to receive the program.

 

[Cnsper]

When I get too feeble to take care of myself, I think that I will just wander off up into the mountains. Hope they don't find me but leaving a note so they all know what happened.

 

[LadyLocust]

@Meerkat I realize this is an older thread but was browsing and found it. I haven't read all the replies yet. I wanted to respond so I'm not yet influenced by other comments. My husband has no children of his own and mine are distant at best - highly influenced by their father. At this point we must plan for ourselves. I had some dear friends who were like grandparents to me. She passed in 2015 and he in 2016. They had no children. Another gal and I were executors of the estate which was left to charity. They taught me a great lesson. My hope is to be to someone what they were to me. We've talked about it and pray for my children to come around and see what their father really is, but we can't count on or predict that. We are hoping to have a granny cottage on our forever place. It can be used for our parents who are aging and possibly one day host a young couple who is willing to work towards a similar dream as our own. We're not there yet and we have nobody in mind, but that's what we would prefer. We have 7 nieces and 1 nephew so one of them might shine through. We are actually not planning that far out as there are too many variables. If something happened today, the other would be fine. It's our elderly years we are uncertain of.
This is a pretty deep question.

 

[Meerkat]

I'm reading over this thread again for last hour or so.
Glad its still here.

 

[Meerkat]

@Meerkat I realize this is an older thread but was browsing and found it. I haven't read all the replies yet. I wanted to respond so I'm not yet influenced by other comments. My husband has no children of his own and mine are distant at best - highly influenced by their father. At this point we must plan for ourselves. I had some dear friends who were like grandparents to me. She passed in 2015 and he in 2016. They had no children. Another gal and I were executors of the estate which was left to charity. They taught me a great lesson. My hope is to be to someone what they were to me. We've talked about it and pray for my children to come around and see what their father really is, but we can't count on or predict that. We are hoping to have a granny cottage on our forever place. It can be used for our parents who are aging and possibly one day host a young couple who is willing to work towards a similar dream as our own. We're not there yet and we have nobody in mind, but that's what we would prefer. We have 7 nieces and 1 nephew so one of them might shine through. We are actually not planning that far out as there are too many variables. If something happened today, the other would be fine. It's our elderly years we are uncertain of.
This is a pretty deep question.

LadyL I was reading over the thread again . And Glad we are thinking about this now instead of when we are sick or can't think.
I like to go sometimes but can't think of anywhere else I'd like to hang my hat but here. And it is set up for old people.
I don't want to go back to mad max Atlanta area. Or Houston Tx. where son lives for sure.
Last trip riding through Atlanta I-75 was like driving Indy 500 around a 1000 phonebots. Those people not only fly but text while doing so. And if your not going 80 MPH then they want to hurt you. And thats in the slow lane.
Thank goodness I grew up in Atlanta and know all the roads so I don't have to get on I75 till I'm 50 miles out.

 

[Meerkat]

Dang Meerkat, I am 60.

@MoBookworm1957

LOL, I was talking about them thinking they were still in the 1960s. Sorry I don't always make myself clear.

 

[fteter]

Glad to see this thread resurrected, as this subject has also been on my mind as of late. I just turned 63 and the beloved wife recently turned 62. We traded down to a smaller property about three years ago. It's a nice neighborhood but way too dense for me. We're talking about going rural again in the near future, but some small we can maintain on our own. Personally, I'm trying to stay healthy and flexible as I get older - losing some weight, exercising every day and so on. But Father Time is undefeated and I don't expect either of us to be the exception.

We're a blended family with kids scattered throughout the U.S. Three can barely keep their heads above water and three others have made it pretty clear (either subtle comments or direct conversation) that we're not landing at their place if the day ever comes, either due to lack of room, unwilling mates, or just don't want to go there. The one willing child and spouse are Army, moving every three years (not sure we're up the military vagabond lifestyle in our old age). There won't be any assisted-living institutions in our future by mutual agreement.

We're preparing for independence in older age by saving up for it now. I'll likely work a few extra years to max out savings and social security payments (not a fan of the present social security plan, but I paid in so I'm darn sure taking it). Other than that, we're taking it as it comes. It's likely we'll either take the assisted home care route, or we'll take in one of those kids struggling financially with the idea that the home will be theirs after we're both gone. But who knows how things will really play out? Hopefully, we'll be able to adapt to whatever comes our way. Overall my aspiration is to die broke - I'm hoping I go first and my wife spends the last nickel as she keels over while chasing cabana boys in the Bahamas.

 

[Meerkat]

Hi Ftet, glad you like the tread and it has helped me alot about some things I never even thought about till I put up thread. Not to mention the things I didn't know about.

I'm like you not planning on going to kids. If I can help it anyway. Son told me we will never go into a home if he has anything to do with it and daughter said she has a place for us, but he is never home or even in the country most of the time.Plus no Texas for us, nothing against it but nothing for it either. Other daughter doesn't mention it.
Hubby and I don't want to lose control till we have to. I wish we could get some sane conservatives to co-habitate but most I know still have grown kids leaning on them and I would not trust the kids.
I talked to SIL in Georgia who is a builder and he said lots of co-housing going on now. That could mean lots of chiefs and no indians,lol.

 

[SheepDog]

My brother (the one living on the mountain) has a plan to keep going until he can't anymore and then he will take the last hike. Walking away from the cabin until he finds a place to rest... forever.
Like some American Indians did in times past. Walk to the right place, build a platform and get onto it and face the end with your eyes on the stars while anchored to the Earth.
He is just bull headed enough to do it too.
My son and I have talked about a time when I may need help and he feels good about taking care of me... but if I need my diaper changed it's off to the old folks home for me.
I mentioned that I changed his diapers for a few years but he won't reconsider. TO HECK WITH IT! I am going to live to be two thousand (2000) years old just so I can change his diapers again and give him a bad time about it.
They told me I couldn't take it with me and even though I'm not sure what IT is, if I can't take it with me - I ain't going!