Old Age Question About Rural Living Alone

[zoomzoom]

Also talked to my old friend this morning about the subject.
She said she told her daughter to just put her into old folks home, she didn't want to be a burden on her family.

If she has assets when she goes into a nursing home, those assets will be used to pay for the nursing home. If she was planning on leaving things to her kids, she needs to know her assets will first be used to pay for her care. That can be thousands of dollars each month.

 

[Meerkat]

If she has assets when she goes into a nursing home, those assets will be used to pay for the nursing home. If she was planning on leaving things to her kids, she needs to know her assets will first be used to pay for her care. That can be thousands of dollars each month.

Plus if I understood it right retirement is taken or not given, she also has a great retirement income .

 

[zoomzoom]

Yes, all her finances/retirement income... also come into play. In rough numbers (depending on level of medical care needed), nursing homes run about $4000-6000 per month.

 

[Meerkat]

Yes, all her finances/retirement income... also come into play. In rough numbers (depending on level of medical care needed), nursing homes run about $4000-6000 per month.

I just let it all slide since she didn't seem interested. Didn't get that far into it.
For that kind of money you could hire a part time nurse or nanny.
Of course home care won't pay nearly a much as institutionalized care does. Another corporate giveaway to the elitist who run these ' care ' centers. Although some of it may go back to the government in taxes most of that is later written off.
Capitalism is no longer what it use to be which I'm all for but not chrony capitalism..

 

[Meerkat]

My goodness talk about not wanting to go into assisted living place!
92 Yr Old Arizona woman kills her 72 Y.O. son for wanting to put her in assisted living program.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/07/0...-putting-her-in-assisted-living-cops-say.html

 

[TMT Tactical]

My goodness talk about not wanting to go into assisted living place!
92 Yr Old Arizona woman kills her 72 Y.O. son for wanting to put her in assisted living program.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/07/0...-putting-her-in-assisted-living-cops-say.html

I can understand about not wanting to go but I do think she may have over reacted just a tab bit too much. Of course, us Arizona folks do take our independence REAL SERIOUS.

 

[Meerkat]

I can understand about not wanting to go but I do think she may have over reacted just a tab bit too much. Of course, us Arizona folks do take our independence REAL SERIOUS.

Ironic the old maniacs name is ' Blessing '.If thats the way she spells it.
Sad story but she will be in assisted living big time now in the big house. She also tried to kill his girlfriend but she wrestled the gun away from her.

 

[TMT Tactical]

Ironic the old maniacs name is ' Blessing '.If thats the way she spells it.
Sad story but she will be in assisted living big time now in the big house. She also tried to kill his girlfriend but she wrestled the gun away from her.

Well the son won't get the Condo, the girl friend won't get the Condo. Only the defense lawyer is going to make any money on this venture. Moral of the story, do not make mom mad, you would not like mom when she is mad. (Modified line from the Hulk -- TV series).

 

[Meerkat]

Well the son won't get the Condo, the girl friend won't get the Condo. Only the defense lawyer is going to make any money on this venture. Moral of the story, do not make mom mad, you would not like mom when she is mad. (Modified line from the Hulk -- TV series).

Don't make 'mad' mom mad,lol.

I was talking to friend today and thought about her sister who gets $75,000 a year retirement pay that she will lose if put into nursing home if she can't pay for it from SSI. So I bet she will be safe from it. She also has old age insurance so wonder if that will cover the bills?
Plus she owns her home so her two daughters will probably make sure she stays with them because they can afford help with her with that kind of money.

 

[Meerkat]

Plus it is a huge incentive to keep her nice and healthy for a long life.

 

[The Lazy L]

... For that kind of money you could hire a part time nurse or nanny....

My mother has reach the stage in life where she can't be left alone. We hired "Visiting Angels" at $25 per hour. Excellent organization and the caregiver was top notch too. When a retired trusted family friend moved back into the area and was looking for employment, they accepted our offer of $15 per hour.

 

[Meerkat]

My mother has reach the stage in life where she can't be left alone. We hired "Visiting Angels" at $25 per hour. Excellent organization and the caregiver was top notch too. When a retired trusted family friend moved back into the area and was looking for employment, they accepted our offer of $15 per hour.

That is a good deal LazyL. Not all people are bad and probably most are good to the helpless.
That kind of help is good to have to give you a break too.
I'm still wondering how to plan. So far is it try to stay home long as we can.

 

[Meerkat]

Time sneaks up on us plus at our age we never know what to expect so I like to at least think about what we will do. Time FLIES NOW TOO THE OLDER WE GET. whoops caps,

 

[The Lazy L]

... I'm still wondering how to plan. So far is it try to stay home long as we can.

We wanted mom to be comfortable by staying in her own house.

One of my sisters is unmarried and lives with mom. Trusted family friend stays with mom while sister is at work. Dad left mom financially comfortable so it's a win win for everybody.

 

[havasu]

Meerkat, caps are perfectly acceptable since finding out myself that the older ya get, the faster time flies. Yeah, I'm yelling about it myself!

 

[PopPopT]

Don't really have a plan, at least not yet.

Spent a year 2016/2017 when my wife and I moved back in with mom & dad while mom tried unsuccessfully to recover from misdiagnosis in ER then emergency surgery a few days later. Dad couldn't handle all of it alone and we didn't have a home at the time. I guess things happen for a reason. She died a little less than a year after we moved in and we ended up moving out only a couple of weeks after she passed. (It was planned that way. We were only supposed to be there temporarily until they figured out whether mom was going to get better or whether she'd need assistance coming in or whether she or both would go to a home.) Dad is doing fine, living in the only home he's known for the past 60+ years, lonely, but still splitting firewood by hand. He's 94. And although he'd like us to be there, he's doing well on his own, in his own home, just like he wants it.

In 2015, I had a nasty fall down a set of icy steps and shattered the bones in my left leg. Thanks to a good surgeon, it all got put back together again along with a few plates and screws that remind me of their presence every day. I was not able to put weight on that leg for 4 months. That was a bit of an eye-opener. I had never realized the mountain that one single step could be. I had never appreciated having to get around in a normal person's world when I was dependent upon a walker and/or crutches to go everywhere. I realized the value of open space, wide doorways, hand holds, ramps and ranch style houses.

In November of 2017, we bought the first house we've owned since 2005. It's a ranch house. Steps getting in are minimal and would easily be made to have none at all. The property is only 3.5 acres. I wanted more like 20+. I'm frustrated that my garden space is so limited and my privacy is not what I'd have liked. But when I think about it, this place may be more of a size that we can take care of it longer than if it were much larger.

We don't have much family. Other than dad, I have one older brother who lives 650 miles away. He has a family, kids, grandkids and a few great grandkids. My wife has two kids, one 500 miles away, one 2,500 miles away. They've joked that the one 500 miles away will deal with their bio-dad when he can't take care of himself anymore and that the one 2,500 miles away will take care of his mom and me. We do visit and stay with them for several weeks at a time and I suspect we could be happy there if it were necessary.

As far as actual nursing home care, we don't have any idea how that could happen. We're old enough that I rather doubt trying to find insurance would be practical. I don't really have an answer to that one.

So all of the above swirls around inside of my little brain hoping that there will be answers that will make themselves known. Unfortunately, none of us knows our own future. We have made efforts at becoming healthier. There is a lot of food (sweets, heavy carbs and sugars) that we've pretty much eliminated from our diet. We've both lost weight (close to 70 pounds this last year for me) and are considerably healthier than we had been before that. We're definitely getting more outside time on our little homestead which means exercise, sunshine, and fresh air, some of the work of such being rewarded with good garden produce. I know, no one lives forever, but taking steps like that seem like a good idea, especially before the medical complications take hold... heart attacks, strokes, T2D, stuff like that. I think we were probably on that path a little over a year ago and we felt like we had to make a change if we wanted to see anything even close to old age. I'm glad we did.

The story isn't written yet. We're only in our 50's/60's and the oldest of our grandkids is a teenager. Who knows what could become? We're open to what life offers as time marches on.

I'm appreciating reading what others are doing. Thanks to those who've posted.

 

[Meerkat]

Don't really have a plan, at least not yet.

Spent a year 2016/2017 when my wife and I moved back in with mom & dad while mom tried unsuccessfully to recover from misdiagnosis in ER then emergency surgery a few days later. Dad couldn't handle all of it alone and we didn't have a home at the time. I guess things happen for a reason. She died a little less than a year after we moved in and we ended up moving out only a couple of weeks after she passed. (It was planned that way. We were only supposed to be there temporarily until they figured out whether mom was going to get better or whether she'd need assistance coming in or whether she or both would go to a home.) Dad is doing fine, living in the only home he's known for the past 60+ years, lonely, but still splitting firewood by hand. He's 94. And although he'd like us to be there, he's doing well on his own, in his own home, just like he wants it.

In 2015, I had a nasty fall down a set of icy steps and shattered the bones in my left leg. Thanks to a good surgeon, it all got put back together again along with a few plates and screws that remind me of their presence every day. I was not able to put weight on that leg for 4 months. That was a bit of an eye-opener. I had never realized the mountain that one single step could be. I had never appreciated having to get around in a normal person's world when I was dependent upon a walker and/or crutches to go everywhere. I realized the value of open space, wide doorways, hand holds, ramps and ranch style houses.

In November of 2017, we bought the first house we've owned since 2005. It's a ranch house. Steps getting in are minimal and would easily be made to have none at all. The property is only 3.5 acres. I wanted more like 20+. I'm frustrated that my garden space is so limited and my privacy is not what I'd have liked. But when I think about it, this place may be more of a size that we can take care of it longer than if it were much larger.

We don't have much family. Other than dad, I have one older brother who lives 650 miles away. He has a family, kids, grandkids and a few great grandkids. My wife has two kids, one 500 miles away, one 2,500 miles away. They've joked that the one 500 miles away will deal with their bio-dad when he can't take care of himself anymore and that the one 2,500 miles away will take care of his mom and me. We do visit and stay with them for several weeks at a time and I suspect we could be happy there if it were necessary.

As far as actual nursing home care, we don't have any idea how that could happen. We're old enough that I rather doubt trying to find insurance would be practical. I don't really have an answer to that one.

So all of the above swirls around inside of my little brain hoping that there will be answers that will make themselves known. Unfortunately, none of us knows our own future. We have made efforts at becoming healthier. There is a lot of food (sweets, heavy carbs and sugars) that we've pretty much eliminated from our diet. We've both lost weight (close to 70 pounds this last year for me) and are considerably healthier than we had been before that. We're definitely getting more outside time on our little homestead which means exercise, sunshine, and fresh air, some of the work of such being rewarded with good garden produce. I know, no one lives forever, but taking steps like that seem like a good idea, especially before the medical complications take hold... heart attacks, strokes, T2D, stuff like that. I think we were probably on that path a little over a year ago and we felt like we had to make a change if we wanted to see anything even close to old age. I'm glad we did.

The story isn't written yet. We're only in our 50's/60's and the oldest of our grandkids is a teenager. Who knows what could become? We're open to what life offers as time marches on.

I'm appreciating reading what others are doing. Thanks to those who've posted.

I don't see the need fro a lot of land for those if us who are seniors. Our woods are growing in on us plus several acres of grass to mow is not logical. Riding mower is now tore up so we are just using self propelled push mower around the house until we can fix old rider.
You can grow alot of food on a small portion of land espcially if go go up.

 

[PopPopT]

I had this little dream... I wanted to be a farmer when I grew up. (I'm mid 50's and still haven't grown up, evidently.) I've adjusted the dream downward several times, now. The latest dream was to be a market gardener. I don't know if I've quite given that dream up yet or not but it's waning. The 20 acre place I wanted soooooo badly before we bought this one would have been perfect. I don't think the owners really want to sell despite it being on the market for the last 4 years and us offering nearly a full price offer. (AARRGGHH!!!!, and that was probably $30k more than what most said it was worth.) Never know, it's still for sale, and who knows whether it might come around again... never know, stranger things have happened.

I mow about 3 of our acres. There isn't much woods but woods all around. I do about 2 acres of it with a riding mower and do about 1 acres of it with a push mower, on purpose. I find that the exercise does me good. I also have a rear bagger for the push mower and those grass clippings make wonderful compost. I could do just about all of it with the riding mower if I needed to or if I'm a little short on time. Did that last week. But later today, I'll be out there mowing. That said, I love to mow. It's something I enjoy. Pushing or riding, either one.

The other challenge on our place is poor soil. It's mostly either rocky or sandy. I knew a lot of the land here was rocky but I didn't realize there was so much sand. Sandy soil has a hard time holding on to nutrients. But I'm working to build it up and make what I have better. Compost... lots of compost... Despite our small garden, we've been slowly putting away food in our freezer. It doesn't come all at one time. We pick maybe 3 or 4 days a week at most. Some days, it's only been a quart of green beans, but when that happens a few times a week, they do add up. The fall crops are soon to start so we're not anywhere near over with yet.

 

[Meerkat]

I had this little dream... I wanted to be a farmer when I grew up. (I'm mid 50's and still haven't grown up, evidently.) I've adjusted the dream downward several times, now. The latest dream was to be a market gardener. I don't know if I've quite given that dream up yet or not but it's waning. The 20 acre place I wanted soooooo badly before we bought this one would have been perfect. I don't think the owners really want to sell despite it being on the market for the last 4 years and us offering nearly a full price offer. (AARRGGHH!!!!, and that was probably $30k more than what most said it was worth.) Never know, it's still for sale, and who knows whether it might come around again... never know, stranger things have happened.

I mow about 3 of our acres. There isn't much woods but woods all around. I do about 2 acres of it with a riding mower and do about 1 acres of it with a push mower, on purpose. I find that the exercise does me good. I also have a rear bagger for the push mower and those grass clippings make wonderful compost. I could do just about all of it with the riding mower if I needed to or if I'm a little short on time. Did that last week. But later today, I'll be out there mowing. That said, I love to mow. It's something I enjoy. Pushing or riding, either one.

The other challenge on our place is poor soil. It's mostly either rocky or sandy. I knew a lot of the land here was rocky but I didn't realize there was so much sand. Sandy soil has a hard time holding on to nutrients. But I'm working to build it up and make what I have better. Compost... lots of compost... Despite our small garden, we've been slowly putting away food in our freezer. It doesn't come all at one time. We pick maybe 3 or 4 days a week at most. Some days, it's only been a quart of green beans, but when that happens a few times a week, they do add up. The fall crops are soon to start so we're not anywhere near over with yet.

We were in our late 40s when we came here and worked clearing trees, vines galore and planting grass in a thick sub tropical forest . We hired somebody to clear one acre.
We were going to have and organic farm and raise guard donkeys.We named the place 'Sassy Ass Acres' and with help from kids and grand kids cut down 300 trees with chain saws for pasture, then cleared it by hand. All that changed when hubby broke his back 15 years ago.. I couldn't do it all but did do a lot since I was in great shape from playing softball till I was 50.And of course lots of hard work . Well I'm not 50 anymore and am now old and get tired easier than before , of course.
So many regulations now it is hard to do anything. We have lost most rights to produce food crops.

 

[PopPopT]

Meerkat, I had to chuckle a little at "Sassy Ass Acres". Cute name. On my morning drive to church years ago, someplace just to the south of the Mason Dixon line, I used to pass a little farm that had painted in big letters on the side of the barn, "BellyAcres". Funny.

Age has a way of sneaking up, and it's often not so kind about it. I'm only in my 50's and am already feeling like there is so much more in life I would like to do if I only had the time. I can think of 4 or 5 different career paths I might have taken, some quite diverse from others. There just isn't time. And some stuff, like having kids of my own, is past and gone and isn't coming back.

Regulations, not a pretty word. Maybe some depends on where a person wants to grow produce. There are a number of Amish and Mennonite farms around and at least one of them has a very nice produce operation. It's low key, and they just sell right there on the farm, but they have a pretty good thing going. It's how they make their living. (Have to get there early if you want anything 'cause it sells quick. Learned that from experience.) I may never have a market garden but I am still inclined to want to grow as much of what we eat as I can. Our trips to Walmart and Kroger see the bank balance hit harder all the time. We took a trip there over the weekend. I knew we needed a few things but had no idea it was gonna cost that much. It covered the bottom of a regular sized buggy but certainly not an abundance, it was $192. OUCH!! That was Walmart. Kroger added almost $50, and in just a couple of bags. Didn't even need the buggy to go to the car. So reducing the food bill is definitely a priority. Maybe next year we can add some chickens... I remember when $20 a week would feed a family of four if shopping carefully. Won't even get you much change out of a Happy Meal these days.

 

[Amish Heart]

You are right, PopPopT. I've been following grocery prices very, very closely on the same items for the past five years.
A good thing to do in your community is possibly provide something no one else does. Or something typically people order. Then barter for what you need. Plan to do that with incubating chickens, turkeys, and ducks when we retire. Our farm community always orders out and then gets hit with shipping.

 

[Meerkat]

Meerkat, I had to chuckle a little at "Sassy Ass Acres". Cute name. On my morning drive to church years ago, someplace just to the south of the Mason Dixon line, I used to pass a little farm that had painted in big letters on the side of the barn, "BellyAcres". Funny.

Age has a way of sneaking up, and it's often not so kind about it. I'm only in my 50's and am already feeling like there is so much more in life I would like to do if I only had the time. I can think of 4 or 5 different career paths I might have taken, some quite diverse from others. There just isn't time. And some stuff, like having kids of my own, is past and gone and isn't coming back.

Regulations, not a pretty word. Maybe some depends on where a person wants to grow produce. There are a number of Amish and Mennonite farms around and at least one of them has a very nice produce operation. It's low key, and they just sell right there on the farm, but they have a pretty good thing going. It's how they make their living. (Have to get there early if you want anything 'cause it sells quick. Learned that from experience.) I may never have a market garden but I am still inclined to want to grow as much of what we eat as I can. Our trips to Walmart and Kroger see the bank balance hit harder all the time. We took a trip there over the weekend. I knew we needed a few things but had no idea it was gonna cost that much. It covered the bottom of a regular sized buggy but certainly not an abundance, it was $192. OUCH!! That was Walmart. Kroger added almost $50, and in just a couple of bags. Didn't even need the buggy to go to the car. So reducing the food bill is definitely a priority. Maybe next year we can add some chickens... I remember when $20 a week would feed a family of four if shopping carefully. Won't even get you much change out of a Happy Meal these days.

And Belly Acre's is a good one too. :lil guy:
I would like to buy from Amish but none close to us. Here in Florida to get permit to grow organic is not an easy task.
I sure do know what your saying about the price of food now and we try to buy on sale and no pre-packaged but even then it cost too much.
Work is getting too hard for us now especially in summer.

 

[Meerkat]

I talked to a neighbor today and she is not in good health ' rhematoid arthritis' plus long time smoker.
Her husband is in good shape considering.
Asked her if they wanted to go to drive in theatre [ an hour and half away ] with us in seperate autos [ passenger van seat is not comfy and I don't ride with with other drivers ] or to the little local club with live band on weekends where a couple other neighbors go sometimes ] since they can't find a church that isn't liberal now and she said maybe.
Right now boredom is the worse part of growing old for me. But even old people have to be careful who to hang out with, some are perverts. Saw one couple in action at the club . I don't care what others do though,just don't get all peeved if I don't join in on the action..
So society has lost its mind and it is hard to find sanity.

 

[Weedygarden]

Yes, all her finances/retirement income... also come into play. In rough numbers (depending on level of medical care needed), nursing homes run about $4000-6000 per month.

I think the cost is possibly even more than $6000. A cousin of mine had money from land that was her fathers. She lived in the home while she was in her 90's from the money from the sale of the land.

 

[Meerkat]

I think the cost is possibly even more than $6000. A cousin of mine had money from land that was her fathers. She lived in the home while she was in her 90's from the money from the sale of the land.

Well I think if they can't find a reason to clean their clock they will invent one.

 

[Weedygarden]

I talked to a neighbor today and she is not in good health ' rhematoid arthritis' plus long time smoker.
Her husband is in good shape considering.
Asked her if they wanted to go to drive in theatre [ an hour and half away ] with us in seperate autos [ passenger van seat is not comfy and I don't ride with with other drivers ]

I'm with you! Too many bad experiences with other people who don't drive well and are in charge of how and when.

But even old people have to be careful who to hang out with, some are perverts. Saw one couple in action at the club . I don't care what others do though,just don't get all peeved if I don't join in on the action..
So society has lost its mind and it is hard to find sanity.

Yes, so many sick in the head people. I recently found out some people I know go to nudist camps. I suppose if it is your thing, you can do it, but you will never see me there. There are worse things than that, though.

 

[Meerkat]

I'm with you! Too many bad experiences with other people who don't drive well and are in charge of how and when.



Yes, so many sick in the head people. I recently found out some people I know go to nudist camps. I suppose if it is your thing, you can do it, but you will never see me there. There are worse things than that, though.

I got into argument with BIL last fast ride I went on. So it is best to just follow or lead in seperate vehicles,imo.

I get along with most people long as they don't push it on me. I don't hang around with them but don't nessesarily avoid them either. We talked awhile with one of the ' swingers' at the club that night, but they know we don't participate. Good neighbors on the most part.
i think DH and I will go to that drive in even if our neighbors don't go. May even go back to the bar one night. It is close to the house only about 10 miles. And it was fun.its been over a year so maybe they forgot the floor show I put on.
Dh will go when I'm ready it is better than being here with me in a bad mood.

 

[Meerkat]

I wish there was a campground close by the city but of course most people go camping to get away from the city. That way I could be near society yet away from them too.
I like people in small dose's.
But I would really like to find a couple of couples who are seniors and down to earth and healthy enough to do a little bit of work but insurance and regulations may be a problem.
We could help each other to stay out of a home or control of family. They would have to 'love ' to grow food and care for chickens,etc,. But big problem comes in with visiting family who are still emotionally and financially attached to the embilical cord. So not really an option.

 

[PopPopT]

But I would really like to find a couple of couples who are seniors and down to earth and healthy enough to do a little bit of work but insurance and regulations may be a problem.
We could help each other to stay out of a home or control of family. They would have to 'love ' to grow food and care for chickens,etc,

When I read that, I had a thought. Maybe you could grow vegetables for yourselves, not for sale, but maybe grow flowers to sell. ?? I have heard a few people say that there is some money to be made in flowers. I've never tried it myself but I used to get a magazine, Market Gardener, I think, that always had at least one article about growing flowers. Certain holidays lend themselves to certain flowers from what I've gathered... Petunias in the spring, Peace Lillys and Daffodils around Easter, hanging baskets as people get busy decorating their porches, Poinsettias before Christmas, you can fill in a number of other things in different places. It would definitely be work. But there wouldn't be the FDA/USDA regulations associated with food. Maybe something you've already looked into, not sure, but figured maybe I'd throw the thought out there.

 

[Meerkat]

When I read that, I had a thought. Maybe you could grow vegetables for yourselves, not for sale, but maybe grow flowers to sell. ?? I have heard a few people say that there is some money to be made in flowers. I've never tried it myself but I used to get a magazine, Market Gardener, I think, that always had at least one article about growing flowers. Certain holidays lend themselves to certain flowers from what I've gathered... Petunias in the spring, Peace Lillys and Daffodils around Easter, hanging baskets as people get busy decorating their porches, Poinsettias before Christmas, you can fill in a number of other things in different places. It would definitely be work. But there wouldn't be the FDA/USDA regulations associated with food. Maybe something you've already looked into, not sure, but figured maybe I'd throw the thought out there.

Thank You Pops, but with all the work here already we don't want another task. It sounds liek a good idea though for those less burdened.