Strange sayings we use

[Pearl]

Ringing off the hook.

Describes an old phone that was ringing so often the handset would vibrate off of the hook.

Ben

Well heck, I knew that! Just didn't register at first!

 

[Peepaw from Tex]

Rather climb a tree and tell a lie, than stand on the ground and tell the truth

 

[LadyLocust]

Going like gangbusters.

 

[Lenny]

Going like a streak of greased wild cat sh**
.

 

[Morgan101]

He was so tall he could go duck huntin' with a rake.

 

[Supervisor42]

Going like a streak of greased wild cat sh**
.

I always heard: "as fast as grease thru a goose".

 

[Caribou]

I always heard: "as fast as grease thru a goose".

I've never tried it but several people I knew talked about stringing ducks. The idea works like this. you tie a piece of bacon on your fishing line and cast it onto a lake with ducks. Eventually one duck would eat the bacon. Being grease it would run right through the duck and another would duck would swallow the bacon. After 3 or 4 ducks had passed the bacon you just reeled them in.

 

[Lenny]

I've never tried it but several people I knew talked about stringing ducks. The idea works like this. you tie a piece of bacon on your fishing line and cast it onto a lake with ducks. Eventually one duck would eat the bacon. Being grease it would run right through the duck and another would duck would swallow the bacon. After 3 or 4 ducks had passed the bacon you just reeled them in.

I heard that one in the 1950s in Iowa.

 

[Lenny]

Slicker than snot on a doorknob.
Slicker than hot sh!t on an icy broom handle.

 

[Morgan101]

It was so quiet you could hear a mouse piss on a cottonball.

 

[Lenny]

Stronger than stud horse piss with the foam farted off.

 

[LadyLocust]

a person tipped their rocker
is slippin' their cabbage
couple bricks shy of a wall
cornbread ain't cooked in the middle

 

[Lenny]

One I like to tell here in the summer:
It's so hot here in Iowa, all the corn in the fields popped.
The cows thought it was snow and froze to death.

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

An odd one my grandpa used to say.

Jumping Jesus Jehoshaphat, he's twitchy.

 

[theheathen13]

Hold my beer and watch this!

 

[Curmudgeon]

"Here eat this, it will stick to your ribs".

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

Also,

Here, eat this, it will put hair on your chest.

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

And....up $*** creek without a paddle

 

[Lenny]

And....up $*** creek without a paddle

That one and and up a s*** creek with a paper paddle.

 

[Lenny]

Also,

Here, eat this, it will put hair on your chest.

I use that one. Sometimes I say it to women.
That goes over like a turd in a punchbowl!
LOL!

 

[Peepaw from Tex]

Tighter than Dick's hatband.

 

[Morgan101]

"Here eat this, it will stick to your ribs".

My mother always said that.

Another one of her favorites was "If you don't use your head you have to use your feet." When you forget or overlook something and have to retrace your steps or go back and get what you forgot.

 

[Lenny]

Worthless as afterbirth of a bastard buzzard

 

[Weedygarden]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

 

[winds-of-change]

Also,

Here, eat this, it will put hair on your chest.

My Dad used to say that to me when I was a kid. He’d drink the pickle juice and offer some to me. I wasn’t sure I WANTED hair in my chest.

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

Quicker than you can shake a stick

....and Bob's your uncle...

Six ways to Sunday

 

[Caribou]

Kiss my aspergillus.

 

[Neb]

Kiss my aspergillus.

The Princess and recently came up with a obfuscated version;

Osculate my gluteus maximus!

(The things you learn from old Jerry Lewis movies)

Ben

 

[winds-of-change]

Kiss my aspergillus.

Do you know what aspergillosis IS?

 

[Ozarks hillbilly]

Well I’m late to this game and sorry if I repeat any, but here’s some of my favorites

That dog won’t hunt
hotter than two minks f****ing in a wool sock
You move slower than old people f***
wam, bam who shot Sam (I understand now this is a song)
It’s raining to beat the band
go eat a bag of d***s
everybody and their brother