The elderly

[Mountain trapper]

My father's 86 now. He gets more grumpy ever year.

 

[user 7704]

My father's 86 now. He gets more grumpy ever year.

Mom will be 86 next month.

 

[tmttactical]

By 86, your body has more things going wrong than going right, they have a reason to be grumpy. They earned a bit of grumpy.

 

[brandx]

Mom decided much of her problems were caused by her antidepressants. She cut down then stopped. During the time, she was in bed. She was just taking little pieces to keep a little in her system. She was doing great for 4 days . She stopped completely and today she is mad at the world. She is also back in bed. I told her to take a little. I don't know if she will.

A lot of the things they will do is try to exert control, or maintain control and they tend to go overboard on that. Yes, she is self diagnosing, that is not a good thing.

 

[brandx]

Robin,

Just love her. We all start confused and oblivious to the world. And for many people, they end in that same state. It's really hard for the loved ones to watch it. But be grateful that you are there and able to help her in her years of need.

I'll give an example that is awful. This past week I read about an elderly man who was put into a care facility 3 months ago. Family would visit. They discovered that the staff never properly bathed him and his 'privates' were so bad they had gangrene. He died within days. As long as it's possible, I think it's best to keep family at home.

I agree, but there are good places too. You have to hunt for them, do research and spy them out.

 

[brandx]

By 86, your body has more things going wrong than going right, they have a reason to be grumpy. They earned a bit of grumpy.

Got that right, I'm halfway to grumpville myself.

 

[Maverick]

My mom is 84 I think, she just got a walker in October, now they think she has cancer in the stomach, she gave up driving in November. She is now living with my brother and a handful.

 

[Gazrok]

She was up walking this morning. I'm very torn on how to handle the situation.

LifeAlert. Yeah, we all know the commercials, but seriously....it's good to be able to press a button and have help. We had to get one for my mother this year. Her downstairs neighbor fell, and couldn't summon help, and died. If she had it, she'd likely still be alive. It scared my mom pretty good, so she was finally on board with it.

 

[Dani]

My mil is 95 & still driving. She has had a very good mind until the last year. I can tell she is going downhill at a faster rate than I would like. She is getting very forgetful now days. It used to be she was sharp as a whip. When I take her shopping it wears her out and she takes frequent cat naps throughout the day, but yet is still active driving herself daily to eat lunch at the senior citizen home and actively attends the local girl college games. Even drives her 82 year old friend. She is a celebrity there now days. . . Get her own cup parking and an escort in from one of the playerplayers. She loves it!

My mother is 72 now and she's been sorta spaced years past. Now that she has remarried its only become worse.

 

[KateMTx]

I work with seniors on a day to day basis in my job and I love them but can they sometimes be a handful! My own grandmother was one of those who never wanted help even when she needed it. It got to where she wouldn't take her meds correctly but she wouldn't let my mom help either and would call her all kinds of names when she tried. She just passed the week before Christmas after a long time in and out of hospitals and nursing homes. So I guess we just have to love them while they're here with us and respect their right to be grumpy.

 

[user 7704]

Well, I really pissed mom off today. She called a new company to get her eye drops. They do not take BCBS so she told them to forget it. Told me that really cuts into her $$$.

I looked her in the eye and said " no mom, that's not a lot of money compared to what you spend on lottery tickets".
I told her I would much rather have my eyes than a scratch off.

Oh my, if looks could kill. She's on the phone now. My guess is she's ordering the meds.

She has glaucoma and macular degeneration. She's not a poor woman. She's just used to having zero out of pocket expenses. Welcome to the real world.

 

[Dani]

My MIL, Granny says she has out lived her money recently. Checked and she has plenty to live the rest of her life on. . .The older they get I think the more worried they get over money.

or in your case more worried about what amount she has to splurge maybe. You handled it well in my book. But then again, I can be rather blunt and to the point sometimes when I am at my wits ends.

 

[KateMTx]

My MIL, Granny says she has out lived her money recently. Checked and she has plenty to live the rest of her life on. . .The older they get I think the more worried they get over money.

or in your case more worried about what amount she has to splurge maybe. You handled it well in my book. But then again, I can be rather blunt and to the point sometimes when I am at my wits ends.

One of my grandmothers had plenty until she went and spent it. She spent all her savings and died thousands of dollars in debt and it wasn't due to medical expenses or any other necessities. So there is a place for frugality but my other grandmother is more like yours - always counting out the pennies and refusing to spend money even when it would be beneficial (my aunt had to practically force her to buy a couch that she would be comfortable sitting on). She will have plenty for the rest of her life, though, so I think I know whose example to follow.

 

[tmttactical]

Penny pinching turns into dollars saved.

 

[Mountain trapper]

Last week my mom was having problems breathing. She went to the local doctor and they took a lot of tests and x-rays. They said she has fluid in her lungs, an enlarged heart and conjentive (misspelled?) heart failure. Not sure what all that means. The doc at our local clinic sent the test results off to a cardiologist for review. She hasn't heard about the test results yet.
She's 89 years old and has smoked cigarettes and drank booze for over 75 years. I think she finally quit smoking now.

 

[user 7704]

Last week my mom was having problems breathing. She went to the local doctor and they took a lot of tests and x-rays. They said she has fluid in her lungs, an enlarged heart and conjentive (misspelled?) heart failure. Not sure what all that means. The doc at our local clinic sent the test results off to a cardiologist for review. She hasn't heard about the test results yet.
She's 89 years old and has smoked cigarettes and drank booze for over 75 years. I think she finally quit smoking now.

To be 89 and a smokers is a feat. She has been very lucky

 

[user 7704]

Mom is 86 and the doctor told her last week that she had had a heart attack some time in her life. She has no idea when. When she walked in, they coyldnt believe she was 86. She looks younger.

 

[DrHenley]

Last week my mom was having problems breathing. She went to the local doctor and they took a lot of tests and x-rays. They said she has fluid in her lungs, an enlarged heart and conjentive (misspelled?) heart failure. Not sure what all that means. The doc at our local clinic sent the test results off to a cardiologist for review. She hasn't heard about the test results yet.
She's 89 years old and has smoked cigarettes and drank booze for over 75 years. I think she finally quit smoking now.

Congestive heart failure. Fluid builds up around the heart and the heart is unable to pump efficiently. It's not a sudden heart failure like a heart attack, but a slowly developing failure of the heart to keep up.

 

[user 7704]

Latest on mom. Last month she had a complete physical. The works.

Today she went back to her quack doctor in Kentucky and he has put her on oxygen. She had low oxygen once when she had allergies, but other than that nothing.

He wouldn't even let her go home without a tank.

They have already hooked her up with a dealer here for when she comes back next week.

Now, either the woman has had a major health change in the last month or this idiot gets kick backs from the companies.

She has never smoked or had asthma. She went in for a steroid shot for her arthritis and ends up with this.

I'm getting an appointment here with a pulmonary specialist ASAP. Oh, this is the same doctor that gave her nitro pills and she has never had a heart condition.

I'm finished venting now.

 

[Brent S]

Latest on mom. Last month she had a complete physical. The works.

Today she went back to her quack doctor in Kentucky and he has put her on oxygen. She had low oxygen once when she had allergies, but other than that nothing.

He wouldn't even let her go home without a tank.

They have already hooked her up with a dealer here for when she comes back next week.

Now, either the woman has had a major health change in the last month or this idiot gets kick backs from the companies.

She has never smoked or had asthma. She went in for a steroid shot for her arthritis and ends up with this.

I'm getting an appointment here with a pulmonary specialist ASAP. Oh, this is the same doctor that gave her nitro pills and she has never had a heart condition.

I'm finished venting now.

Sorry you and your mom are going through all this Robin. I do think your wise to seek a second opinion. My wife’s iron levels are dangerously low. We found this out two weeks ago, and just today got two appointments for her to be seen by specialists. Our doctor is a good guy but they are way too busy and slow. Seems to be the norm now.

 

[user 7704]

Sorry you and your mom are going through all this Robin. I do think your wise to seek a second opinion. My wife’s iron levels are dangerously low. We found this out two weeks ago, and just today got two appointments for her to be seen by specialists. Our doctor is a good guy but they are way too busy and slow. Seems to be the norm now.

My iron got low when I had the bacterial infection. I started on Geritol. My friend says it tastes like rusty nails and fish heads.
I agree your wife needs a specialist. Someone who works with this situation every day.

 

[user 7704]

After talking to my SIL today about my husband's mother who has dementia, I've decided that my mom's hypocondria is petty.

Mom has made some goofy decisions like with the $$$$, but I'll take that any day over what my SIL is going through.

Like my daughter said, "if anything, NeeNee remembers too much." She holds grudges from 50 years ago.

So, I'm counting my blessings that she is doing great for some one 86 years old.

 

[Dani]

My mil has gone down hill these last couple months but count my blessings she has done so well for her age living for the most part in her own. She in the last couple months had to stop driving and most days lives in the now moments. We have had some pretty off the wall comments from her the last few weekd. Most seem to be after her Fri hair appointments which a re standing every week at 9 am.

 

[user 7704]

My mil has gone down hill these last couple months but count my blessings she has done so well for her age living for the most part in her own. She in the last couple months had to stop driving and most days lives in the now moments. We have had some pretty off the wall comments from her the last few weekd. Most seem to be after her Fri hair appointments which a re standing every week at 9 am.

As the salon people say, Friday is blue hair day. They have to look good for church on Sunday. I can't remember the name of the blue rinse they put on their white hair to make it look so white. I can see the bottle in my mind. I'm thinking it's Fanci....something. FANCI FUL? Maybe.

 

[DrHenley]

I can't remember the name of the blue rinse they put on their white hair to make it look so white. I can see the bottle in my mind.

They didn't use Mrs. Stewart's Liquid Bluing did they? LOL

I remember my grandmother putting this in the laundry when she did the whites. I think they still make it.

 

[user 7704]

It's definitely Fanci-ful.

 

[DrHenley]

ROFL I was joking, but they still make it and they even have instructions on how to use Mrs. Stewart's to whiten hair:

http://mrsstewart.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Whitening-Hair.pdf

 

[user 7704]

Oh I know it was a joke. It is amazing how you use something blue to make it white.

 

[user 7704]

Brother brought mom home today (oxygen crap in tow) and I immediately took her to her doctor down here.

The doctor made her walk laps and her oxygen never got below 93%. She needs ZERO oxygen. She said they would not even approve oxygen for levels that high. So no payments. She's going to be stuck with bills.

Now we have to get all of this crap back to them.

We have warned her about the quack in KY but she never believed us.

I believe this may be opening her eyes.

 

[Dani]

Granny's mind is more gone these days, but at 96 I guess it should be expected. She can no longer stand on her own and we use a gait belt to help her up now. Grabbing her under the arms has just worn her sore. . . . she now winces every times she has to get moved. The cartilage in between her bones is just gone. Had to take her for her pace maker appointment today. A 10 minute check to make sure her pace maker is still ok and yet it takes an hour and a half to get her ready for that check up. . .