The elderly

[user 7704]

Granny's mind is more gone these days, but at 96 I guess it should be expected. She can no longer stand on her own and we use a gait belt to help her up now. Grabbing her under the arms has just worn her sore. . . . she now winces every times she has to get moved. The cartilage in between her bones is just gone. Had to take her for her pace maker appointment today. A 10 minute check to make sure her pace maker is still ok and yet it takes an hour and a half to get her ready for that check up. . .

So sorry to hear this. She has been bless so far with 96 years. Not many have this privilege.

 

[Mountain trapper]

Mom has an appointment next week for an angioplasty. Not sure exactly what that means but I think they install some stints. They say that she'll need to stay overnight.

 

[Brent S]

Mom has an appointment next week for an angioplasty. Not sure exactly what that means but I think they install some stints. They say that she'll need to stay overnight.

I wish her the best. It’s a minimally invasive procedure that is done quite often now. They run a wire through the wrist or groin area up into the arteries supplying the heart. They can do othere areas too but the heart is the most common. There they can usually insert a stint to open restricted spots. I had it done a while back and was awake the whole time. Watched it on the monitors as they snaked the wire up inside me. No pain to speak of really. Unfortunately the two restricted areas I have couldn’t be reached so open heart is the only way to repair mine, and I just don’t wish to go through that to squeeze a few more years out of life. I hope hers is more accessible. They released me the same day, but age probably has a lot to do with it. Of course there is some risk with any medical procedure but this is pretty common today. I believe she will be on blood thinners from then on if they insert stints.

 

[user 7704]

Mom has an appointment next week for an angioplasty. Not sure exactly what that means but I think they install some stints. They say that she'll need to stay overnight.

Have you mentioned her age? I wish her the best.

 

[Mountain trapper]

I wish her the best. It’s a minimally invasive procedure that is done quite often now. They run a wire through the wrist or groin area up into the arteries supplying the heart. They can do othere areas too but the heart is the most common. There they can usually insert a stint to open restricted spots. I had it done a while back and was awake the whole time. Watched it on the monitors as they snaked the wire up inside me. No pain to speak of really. Unfortunately the two restricted areas I have couldn’t be reached so open heart is the only way to repair mine, and I just don’t wish to go through that to squeeze a few more years out of life. I hope hers is more accessible. They released me the same day, but age probably has a lot to do with it. Of course there is some risk with any medical procedure but this is pretty common today. I believe she will be on blood thinners from then on if they insert stints.

Thanks Brent. That's the best explantation that I've heard. The doc talked about open heart surgery but at her age she declined, and the doctor said he didn't think that she'd survive it anyway. Mom will be 89 next month. The good thing about all this is that she finally quit smoking and drinking. She smoked for over 70 years. Probably drank for about the same too.
Mom told the doctor that she needs to live for 2 more years. That'll be her 70th wedding anniversary.

 

[Brent S]

Thanks Brent. That's the best explantation that I've heard. The doc talked about open heart surgery but at her age she declined, and the doctor said he didn't think that she'd survive it anyway. Mom will be 89 next month. The good thing about all this is that she finally quit smoking and drinking. She smoked for over 70 years. Probably drank for about the same too.
Mom told the doctor that she needs to live for 2 more years. That'll be her 70th wedding anniversary.

Even now, at 89 she has gotten her money’s worth allready! I hope she makes it at least to her new goal too.

 

[Kevin L]

I wish her the best, but please keep a few points in mind that are relevant to your situation.

Just because someone is elderly and confused....it doesn't automatically mean that there's dementia on board.

Sometimes elderly people become vitamin difficient, they have an interraction with new meds.

Also, there's another process that you need to be aware of.

When you get older, your kidneys and liver (the organs that clean and filter your blood) don't work as efficiently.

This means that medications can build up to dangerous levels in the bloodstream even if the patient is using the perscribed dosage.

Every paramedic, ER nurse, emergency physician, and so on is always aware of this, as--historically--there have been bad misunderstandings when the labwork came back to the ER.

Devout Catholics have been Baker-Acted (a kind of involuntary psychiatric commital that lasts 72 hours) and put on suicide watch because the doctor attributed the high doses of medication to a suicide attempt by deliberate overdose.

People have been disowned by their religious families over this.

So, make sure that she isn't walking around with a shitload of extra medication in her bloodstream because her liver and kidneys aren't what they used to be.

In situations like this, some lab tests and a few days of observation....along with the doctor adjusting dosages....can have her fixed as right as rain.

I hope this helps you.

 

[Dani]

I wish her the best, but please keep a few points in mind that are relevant to your situation.

Just because someone is elderly and confused....it doesn't automatically mean that there's dementia on board.

Sometimes elderly people become vitamin difficient, they have an interraction with new meds.

Also, there's another process that you need to be aware of.

When you get older, your kidneys and liver (the organs that clean and filter your blood) don't work as efficiently.

This means that medications can build up to dangerous levels in the bloodstream even if the patient is using the perscribed dosage.

Every paramedic, ER nurse, emergency physician, and so on is always aware of this, as--historically--there have been bad misunderstandings when the labwork came back to the ER.

Devout Catholics have been Baker-Acted (a kind of involuntary psychiatric commital that lasts 72 hours) and put on suicide watch because the doctor attributed the high doses of medication to a suicide attempt by deliberate overdose.

People have been disowned by their religious families over this.

So, make sure that she isn't walking around with a shitload of extra medication in her bloodstream because her liver and kidneys aren't what they used to be.

In situations like this, some lab tests and a few days of observation....along with the doctor adjusting dosages....can have her fixed as right as rain.

I hope this helps you.

We have already called the doctor about getting a complete work up on granny due to her confusion. We still hadn't heard back and since my BIL came into town, he was going into the office yesterday to personally talk to them since we had to go get my hunnys test done. Hadn't heard what they said yet. You are so right though.

 

[Dani]

So granny is needing 24/7 care now which us something that even if hunny and his brother were to both pull their money together with her is just not affordable at 12,098 (just sitters, not including taxes and bills) a month for her to stay in her own home. Even if the VA kicked in some it would still not be enough. Right now we have sitters with her because we can not do that amount of time away from home and keep up with what we have here. I barely keep my head above water as it is being at her house 4-8 hours a day.

Our solution is to do a total bathroom remodel to accommodate her and us in our older years complete with the hand bars and raised toilet with hand bars. Today I started boxing up all of my spare bedroom, which holds a lot apparently. I had no idea I have 4 boxes of just quilting material and one big box of yarn. . . . I am wanting to put all of her bedroom furniture so that she could feel more at home here. I am also going to get rid of our loveseat to accommodate her rocker/recliner in the living room. I want to make this transition as smooth as possible. . . . She thought she had everything lined out when she bought her long term insurance but it only covers $1200 a month for three tears. That is a long way from $12,098.

We have not addressed this with her yet. . . She likes her independence and even if we explained the finance issues with her, she would not remember them at the end of the day. She loves her dog Maggie and that is her biggest concern. When we talked with hunnys brother who had his wife on speaker phone and I brought up the fact we can not take Maggie because our dogs and her do not get along (which theirs and Maggie do) their solution was the pound. . . that is what kind of people she is. My neighbor friend agreed to take on Grannys dog which I think is a good thing because she is staying in the 'adopted' family loop and if we are out and about with Granny, we can stop by for her to say hello and know Maggie is being well taken care of.

This is going to be a stressful transition all the way around but when it is done with, I think we will be able to get into a routine and be okay with.

 

[user 7704]

So granny is needing 24/7 care now which us something that even if hunny and his brother were to both pull their money together with her is just not affordable at 12,098 (just sitters, not including taxes and bills) a month for her to stay in her own home. Even if the VA kicked in some it would still not be enough. Right now we have sitters with her because we can not do that amount of time away from home and keep up with what we have here. I barely keep my head above water as it is being at her house 4-8 hours a day.

Our solution is to do a total bathroom remodel to accommodate her and us in our older years complete with the hand bars and raised toilet with hand bars. Today I started boxing up all of my spare bedroom, which holds a lot apparently. I had no idea I have 4 boxes of just quilting material and one big box of yarn. . . . I am wanting to put all of her bedroom furniture so that she could feel more at home here. I am also going to get rid of our loveseat to accommodate her rocker/recliner in the living room. I want to make this transition as smooth as possible. . . . She thought she had everything lined out when she bought her long term insurance but it only covers $1200 a month for three tears. That is a long way from $12,098.

We have not addressed this with her yet. . . She likes her independence and even if we explained the finance issues with her, she would not remember them at the end of the day. She loves her dog Maggie and that is her biggest concern. When we talked with hunnys brother who had his wife on speaker phone and I brought up the fact we can not take Maggie because our dogs and her do not get along (which theirs and Maggie do) their solution was the pound. . . that is what kind of people she is. My neighbor friend agreed to take on Grannys dog which I think is a good thing because she is staying in the 'adopted' family loop and if we are out and about with Granny, we can stop by for her to say hello and know Maggie is being well taken care of.

This is going to be a stressful transition all the way around but when it is done with, I think we will be able to get into a routine and be okay with.

I'm sure this is so stressful for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I do not count my blessings enough. Thank you for reminding me.

 

[Dani]

I'm sure this is so stressful for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I do not count my blessings enough. Thank you for reminding me.

I am very happy that I finally get the bathroom remodel, which we needed since it is the same since we moved in except for the color. . . and I was in my 20's at that time and painted candy apple red. I know, what in the hell was I thinking, right? It is something hunny and I have played around with for years but now it is reality. It just pisses me off when SIL asked what brother could possible do to help and BIL says maybe we could take Granny once a weekend a month to help you could hear crickets in the room.

If she is here at least on her good days that she can feed herself I can actually do something other than sit by her chair. I can feel like I can get something accomplished. I can not pressure can if hunny is away because taking her down to the bathroom can be a 30 minute ordeal but I can water bath and not stress too much. I really think this would be a positive change. . . I know for me, but hoping for granny too. She seems to do better with 24 hour care. When she was not, she intentionally drank less water because she didn't want to have to get up to up to go potty on her own and was getting dehydrated. Even though she had 7 - 10 12-2 and them 6-10 covered

 

[user 7704]

I know what you mean about family. My mom stayesnhere about 10 months per year. When she goes home for a month at a time, my brother acts as if it's a terrible imposition on him.

When we built the house, I made a bedroom downstairs with a larger than normal shower for future situations. I'm glad I did. After 2 hip replacements, she can't get in and out of the tub.

He is rather high strung, but when she goes home, he doesn't live with her. He is across the field and has to get her mail and check on her once per day. Sometimes he has to take her to grocery.

I'm guessing that being a mom has better prepared me.

Oh, one time I painted my kitchen bright purple. Really bright purple. What was I thinking?

 

[user 7704]

Oh, I would like to have a walk in tub with the shower.

 

[Dani]

I know what you mean about family. My mom stayesnhere about 10 months per year. When she goes home for a month at a time, my brother acts as if it's a terrible imposition on him.

When we built the house, I made a bedroom downstairs with a larger than normal shower for future situations. I'm glad I did. After 2 hip replacements, she can't get in and out of the tub.

He is rather high strung, but when she goes home, he doesn't live with her. He is across the field and has to get her mail and check on her once per day. Sometimes he has to take her to grocery.

I'm guessing that being a mom has better prepared me.

Oh, one time I painted my kitchen bright purple. Really bright purple. What was I thinking?

Oh you made me lol. I am glad that I am not the only one who has had a wild hair. . . I needed that so thank you. Yes I am still laughing. This next time I paint will be a calmer more neutral color for sure. Everything else I did when we first moved in was more neutral but I figured the master bath was something most would never see.

Since it is the bigger of the two that is the one that we will have to do. I just dont know what the road holds down the road. She is now re hydrated and with physical therapy can stand again which is a BIG help getting dressed and going to the potty. Trying to work pants up and down in a sitting position can be challenging. We are putting in a walking shower with no step ups, only a small lip if we have to wheel a chair in, we can. Also leaving the glass door off to have more maneuverability. I figured we could can do a curtain now and later on put in the glass doors.

 

[Dani]

Mom has one of those walk in tubs and separate shower that has a bench. I know she has used the tub before just not very often. For us, we have a Jacuzzi tub that may have been used a handful of times since we moved in 20 years ago. I guess for me, it takes too much water to fill the tub and even if I did, I never seen to have that much time. . . . Heck, I would probably fall asleep sitting still that long.

 

[user 7704]

My SIL made an attached apartment for my MIL . It has a huge shower that is all tile and a wheelchair can fit inside and be turned etc. She doesn't need it now, but they built it just in case it was ever needed. It's so large that neither a curtain or door is needed.

Mine is just a larger stall with no step over except the door tract. They have much more money the us.

 

[user 7704]

Mom has one of those walk in tubs and separate shower that has a bench. I know she has used the tub before just not very often. For us, we have a Jacuzzi tub that may have been used a handful of times since we moved in 20 years ago. I guess for me, it takes too much water to fill the tub and even if I did, I never seen to have that much time. . . . Heck, I would probably fall asleep sitting still that long.

I had a Jacuzzi at my other house and hated it. It was loud and the jets were hard to clean. When we built here, I said nope. I want a garden tun with no jets.

 

[Dani]

We had the talk with granny yesterday afternoon. She knew we were remodeling the bathroom, but she learned why and took it very well. She has had her mind for the last few days so thought it would be a good time to let her try to process everything. She said she never intended to have to live with one of her kids, but since she has to, she is glad it will be with us. She asked us only once if "these people", meaning the sitter cost us money. When we told her yes and how much, she didn't bring it up again. We talked about how she brought up her boys, mainly on her own and even helped raise the grandkids, who adore her. . . It is now her turn to get cared for. I explained that I wanted her to bring her bedroom furniture, her rocker recliner and whatever else she would like. I want her to feel like our home is just as much hers and I want her to feel comfortable there. She has a beautiful wooden desk that her dad built. It means the world to her and I told her we would have a place for it in the livingroom. I don't mind putting some of our things in storage. The shower will not be installed til sometime between July 8th thru 13th, so hoping she can process and remember about the move.

 

[user 7704]

We had the talk with granny yesterday afternoon. She knew we were remodeling the bathroom, but she learned why and took it very well. She has had her mind for the last few days so thought it would be a good time to let her try to process everything. She said she never intended to have to live with one of her kids, but since she has to, she is glad it will be with us. She asked us only once if "these people", meaning the sitter cost us money. When we told her yes and how much, she didn't bring it up again. We talked about how she brought up her boys, mainly on her own and even helped raise the grandkids, who adore her. . . It is now her turn to get cared for. I explained that I wanted her to bring her bedroom furniture, her rocker recliner and whatever else she would like. I want her to feel like our home is just as much hers and I want her to feel comfortable there. She has a beautiful wooden desk that her dad built. It means the world to her and I told her we would have a place for it in the livingroom. I don't mind putting some of our things in storage. The shower will not be installed til sometime between July 8th thru 13th, so hoping she can process and remember about the move.

I'm so glad she is taking it well and is able to understand. Bless everyone and prayers for a smooth transition.

 

[Dani]

So when we had the talk with granny, my brother in law was present but his wife was not. Learned the next day that he is in the dog house because he did not call her and put her on speaker so that she could be in on that conversation. . . The way I feel is that was a conversation for us only to have with granny. I keep getting told how involved BILs wife is with granny. She has only been to her house once to take her lunch in over 10 years. I can't say that is really involvement. I don't count being out on speaker phone during a meeting with care givers as involvement. Doesn't involvement actually require you to do something? When talking, once again over the phone, she asked since we are bringing Granny to live with us, what could (brother) do to help. My suggestion was maybe every 6 months or so, you could take her for a weekend. They already have a walk in shower with bars so everything is already set up there. They would just need to get a raiser for the toilet. That doesn't cost much at all. In fact we are having to get two for our house. There was dead silence on her end. . . A few days later BIL stops by and said if we ever needed a break there is an assisted living type hotel that would cost $125 a night. . . Really, that is their solution if we would like a break. I can guaranty I will not be asking them for anything. They could not even take her dog. . . She is going to my neighbor/renter/friend.

Sounds like Granny is ready though. . . Already asking if she was going to get moved in today. . . Our part of the wall in shower is almost done. We had some hiccups with the electrical, but it is figured out now. All that is left is the threshold. Install of cultured marble is the 2nd week of July.

Next will be expanding the closet and ripping out old shower.

 

[user 7704]

So when we had the talk with granny, my brother in law was present but his wife was not. Learned the next day that he is in the dog house because he did not call her and put her on speaker so that she could be in on that conversation. . . The way I feel is that was a conversation for us only to have with granny. I keep getting told how involved BILs wife is with granny. She has only been to her house once to take her lunch in over 10 years. I can't say that is really involvement. I don't count being out on speaker phone during a meeting with care givers as involvement. Doesn't involvement actually require you to do something? When talking, once again over the phone, she asked since we are bringing Granny to live with us, what could (brother) do to help. My suggestion was maybe every 6 months or so, you could take her for a weekend. They already have a walk in shower with bars so everything is already set up there. They would just need to get a raiser for the toilet. That doesn't cost much at all. In fact we are having to get two for our house. There was dead silence on her end. . . A few days later BIL stops by and said if we ever needed a break there is an assisted living type hotel that would cost $125 a night. . . Really, that is their solution if we would like a break. I can guaranty I will not be asking them for anything. They could not even take her dog. . . She is going to my neighbor/renter/friend.

Sounds like Granny is ready though. . . Already asking if she was going to get moved in today. . . Our part of the wall in shower is almost done. We had some hiccups with the electrical, but it is figured out now. All that is left is the threshold. Install of cultured marble is the 2nd week of July.



Next will be expanding the closet and ripping out old shower.

You need to keep a calender of every thing you do and everythibg they do. Doctors appointments, household amendments, food etc. It may come in handy later. It's horrible to say, but nothing brings out the worst in people that the death of a loved one.

 

[user 7704]

Yesterday mom was dizzy. I looked at her keg and asked how many of those pain patches (aspirin) she had on. She said "5"

I told her she had turned her bloid as thin a water and that why she is dizzy.

Some people dont think of topical meds as medicine. I keep telling her that the skin is the largest organ.

 

[Dani]

Yesterday mom was dizzy. I looked at her keg and asked how many of those pain patches (aspirin) she had on. She said "5"

I told her she had turned her bloid as thin a water and that why she is dizzy.

Some people dont think of topical meds as medicine. I keep telling her that the skin is the largest organ.

Granny normally has two patches, one on each knee to help with pain. Other than that we use the rice bag warmed up.
I guess there is benefits on having us manage her pain. . . Yes, I am shacking my head at your moms decisions. I feel for you right now.

 

[Dani]

Granny was all worried tonight about moving since it will be in a couple weeks mow. She told me that if I wanted any of her Hummels I am welcome to them. I reminded her that she had already put tape with names on all of them so they are taken care of and will go to the family member she wanted them to. She says but your name isnt on any of them. I told her that my sweet hunnys name is on some of them and what is his, is mine too. I plan in honoring what she was wanting to do and plan on packing each box with names on them for her kids and grand kids to pick up. I am not sure when she did that but know it was years ago. . . some of the names have faded on the tape. The caregiver that is staying overnight with her said that Granny loves me a lot and is always talking about me. That means a lot to me since I have only been in the family 20 years. I am closer to her than I am with my own mother and she means the world to me. Since my BIL came in to stay on Mon leaving today, I told her I missed her. . . She said she missed me so much she cried. . yep, that broke my heart. Told her she should have called me and I would have come over. I did talk to her everyday, but I guess seeing in person everyday is what she needed.

 

[user 7704]

She said that she didnt even think that it had aspirin. I am allergic so I am always looking for it to be hidden.

 

[Dani]

Yesterday at lunch granny asked her sitter ' have you seen my new kitchen? It's groovy. I had to laugh since I have never heard her use that expression before but had to ask her what new kitchen because she does tend to say some off wall things. She said yours. . . 'It's cute, is that better?' I am glad she is impressed because I would love some updates/changes?'

When we were out picking up feed yesterday we got a surprise call from the shower installation guys. They wanted to come by and install the floor of the shower. So after that got done I put the accent file down on it, along with a plank of floor to take a picture to send grannys 's sitter to show her. I called Last night after sending hunny with dinner. I needed to get to bed early for work today. While talking to her she she said ' I am ready to come'. . . In fact tonight for dinner she asked if she could be coming home with us. I am thinking another week and a half but also know she will be asking g every time she sees me. Tonight I was able to get out of her some of her knick knacks that she would like to bring. Baby steps.

 

[user 7704]

I'm so happy she is pleased with the upcoming change.

People can be stuck in their ways.

My mom is back to swimming now, so she must be feeling better. My husband is planning to take my son to the new Toy Story this week so that will be the true test. Mom loves to go to the movies.

 

[Mountain trapper]

I had a Jacuzzi at my other house and hated it. It was loud and the jets were hard to clean. When we built here, I said nope. I want a garden tun with no jets.

That's why we went with the air jets in our new house; nothing to clean. We had the air jets in our last house too and the wife used it a lot. Our Alaska house had the jacuzzi tub and she used it once. It was too hard to clean.

 

[user 7704]

Mom is fully recovered. She been swimming daily and is going to movie tomorrow. I guarantee she will have at least 2 extra stops to make too.

Good for her. I hope I'm in as good health as she is at 86. I hope if I live that long , I appreciate my blessings. Most that age aren't mobile or capable of everything she does.

 

[Dani]

Mom is fully recovered. She been swimming daily and is going to movie tomorrow. I guarantee she will have at least 2 extra stops to make too.

Good for her. I hope I'm in as good health as she is at 86. I hope if I live that long , I appreciate my blessings. Most that age aren't mobile or capable of everything she does.

That is so wonderful! I counted blessing for many years and can fully understand and appreciate. Let her keep going as much as she can and would like. I am a firm believer that it you do not use it, you will lose it. Motion is your mom's best friend right now.

Even though granny is not able to walk, she still does her exercises to swinging her legs and bringing her knees up and back down. Periodically she can stand and walk around in a circle. Twice in the last month.