Unhappy people

[Weedygarden]

Listen to music (or make some)​

Music can give more than one of your happy hormones a boost.
Listening to instrumental music, especially music that gives you chills, can increase dopamine production in your brain.
But if you enjoy music, simply listening to any music you enjoy may help put you in a good mood. This positive change in your mood can increase serotonin production.
You may also experience an endorphin release while performing music, especially in a large group. For example, a 2016 study Source found that choir members experienced increased endorphin release during rehearsals.

Meditate

​

If you’re familiar with meditation, you might already know of its many wellness benefits — from improving sleep to reducing stress.
Source links many of meditation’s benefits to increased dopamine production during the practice.
Not sure how to start? It’s not as hard as you might think. You don’t even need to sit still, though it can help when you’re first starting out.

Try it​

To get started with meditation:

• Choose a quiet, comfortable place to sit.
• Get comfortable, whether that’s standing, sitting, or lying down.
• Let all your thoughts — positive or negative — rise and pass you by.
• As thoughts come up, try not to judge them, cling to them, or push them away. Simply acknowledge them.

Start out by doing this for 5 minutes and work your way up to longer sessions over time.

Was this helpful?

Plan a romantic evening​

Oxytocin’s reputation as the “love hormone” is well earned.
Simply being attracted to someone can lead to the production of oxytocin. But physical affection, including kissing, cuddling, or having sex, also contributes to oxytocin production.
Just spending time with someone you care about can also help boost oxytocin production. This can help increase closeness and positive relationship feelings, making you feel happy, blissful, or even euphoric.
If you really want to feel those happy hormones, note that dancing and sex both lead to endorphin release, while orgasm triggers dopamine release.
You can also share a glass of wine with your partner for an added endorphin boost.

Pet your dog​

If you have a dog, giving your furry friend some affection is a great way to boost oxytocin levels for you and your dog.
According to research, dog owners as well as their dogs see an increase in oxytocin when interacting.
Even if you don’t own a dog, you might also experience an oxytocin boost when you see a dog you know and like. If you’re a dog lover, this might happen when you get a chance to pet any dog at all.
So, find your favorite canine and give it a good ear scratch or lap cuddle.

Get a good night’s sleep​

Not getting enough quality sleep can affect your health in multiple ways.
For one, it can contribute to an imbalance of hormones, particularly dopamine, in your body. This can have a negative impact on your mood as well as your physical health.
Setting aside 7 to 9 hours each night for sleep can help restore the balance of hormones in your body, which will likely help you feel better.
If you find it difficult to get a good night’s sleep, try:

• going to bed and getting up around the same time every day
• creating a quiet, restful sleeping environment (try reducing light, noise, and screens)
• decreasing caffeine intake, especially in the afternoon and evening

Manage stress​

It’s normal to experience some stress from time to time. But living with regular stress or dealing with highly stressful life events can cause drops in dopamine and serotonin production. This can negatively affect your health and mood, making it harder to deal with stress.
If you’re under a lot of stress, the American Psychological Association recommends:

• taking a brief break from the source of stress
• laughter
• taking 20 minutes for a walk, run, bike ride, or other physical activity
• meditation
• social interaction

Any of these approaches may help relieve your stress while also boosting your levels of serotonin, dopamine, and even endorphins.

Get a massage​

If you enjoy a massage, here’s one more reason to get one: massage can boost all four of your happy hormones.
According to studies, massage boosts endorphins. Older research found that massage also increases serotonin and dopamine.
You can get these benefits from a massage by a licensed massage therapist, but you can also get a massage from a partner for some extra oxytocin.

Takeaway​

Serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin help promote happiness and pleasure while reducing depression and anxiety. You can give these feel-good hormones a natural boost with some simple activities.
If you’re having difficulty regulating your mood, talk with a healthcare provider, who can recommend therapies or treatments that may help.

 

[LadyLocust]

We have a saying about, you're saying. We call that, "EMBRACE the SUCK".

Yea, I’ve heard that one quite a bit. It’s not something I will say, but do understand why it’s said.

 

[Haertig]

I think we have to lean into the things that we enjoy and make us happy.

Back when our horses were still alive, my wife always loved going out to the ranch where we boarded them. I agree, that part was nice. But then she would say how happy it made her to clean the stalls. Say what?! We paid good money to have those stalls kept clean. Not my happy place to rake up horse crap for giggles. But it was my wife's. Strange. I did enjoy feeding, walking and bathing the horses though. I wasn't much of a rider. My wife and daughter did that. It made me happy to watch them ride. It also made me happy to watch them do the de-worming, and get that nasty paste spit back on them and their clothes. That was always good for a chuckle.

 

[Weedygarden]

Back when our horses were still alive, my wife always loved going out to the ranch where we boarded them. I agree, that part was nice. But then she would say how happy it made her to clean the stalls. Say what?! We paid good money to have those stalls kept clean. Not my happy place to rake up horse crap for giggles. But it was my wife's. Strange. I did enjoy feeding, walking and bathing the horses though. I wasn't much of a rider. My wife and daughter did that. It made me happy to watch them ride. It also made me happy to watch them do the de-worming, and get that nasty paste spit back on them and their clothes. That was always good for a chuckle.

This is similar to how dogs make me happy. There is always dog business to clean up, but just being with dogs is so good for humans.

 

[Magus]

When I went off grid before the election, I was happy.
I fed feral cats, wandered around strapped with guns, stayed high and played grab ass with Sasquatch,
or whatever the local variant is called. I hung out with Aliens and bothered nobody. Joe Biden and ANTIFA made me come back, NOW I can't go back. I'm in a state of perpetual grumpy in a world that is slowly killing me.

 

[Pearl]

When I went off grid before the election, I was happy.
I fed feral cats, wandered around strapped with guns, stayed high and played grab ass with Sasquatch,
or whatever the local variant is called. I hung out with Aliens and bothered nobody. Joe Biden and ANTIFA made me come back, NOW I can't go back. I'm in a state of perpetual grumpy in a world that is slowly killing me.

At least you weren't like that your whole life!!

 

[Magus]

Actually, I probably was.

 

[Pearl]

Actually, I probably was.

 

[Magus]

See my sig?

 

[Wingnut]

Chill out, Magus, I just posted a link to the Cockney Rejects in the music thread... it has your name all over it, lol.

 

[Magus]

On it. You like flogging molly?

 

[Wingnut]

R U KIDDING? Flogging Molly rocks... my nephew turned me on to that group back when I was busy trucking, lol.

 

[Weedygarden]

When I went off grid before the election, I was happy.
I fed feral cats, wandered around strapped with guns, stayed high and played grab ass with Sasquatch,
or whatever the local variant is called. I hung out with Aliens and bothered nobody. Joe Biden and ANTIFA made me come back, NOW I can't go back. I'm in a state of perpetual grumpy in a world that is slowly killing me.

Turning off my television, thanks to Fauci, and not watching television since, has been good for me! I was especially glad during election season. If my blood pressure went up, it was not due to politics.

 

[Magus]

Television makes you retarded.

 

[sonya123]

I think some people ( self included) just lack some of those happy brain chemicals. Pretty sure it runs in my family. My mother had this also and some of her cousins do too. If you have anxiety issues it is very difficult to be happy. You just worry about all possible bad things that can and do happen , and then something you didn't even think about does happen. When we lived in Florida I wanted to move and become homesteaders just as soon as financially possible because I hated my job , I hated the weather in Florida and all the people and traffic. I slept with earplugs and it never got really dark in the bedroom, so I never slept well.
So we move here and I love it. Things are awesome despite all the work and lack of conveniences. We didn't have any electric for about 2 months, no functional kitchen, no washing machine nothing, but I was actually happy. Then it started the very next year, my mother died, my best friend died, I had that stupid accident, my dog died, my husband had a bad concussion and was unable to do anything for a month, covid, inflation and on top of that bad weather all the time. Then add the vehicle problems. We expected to have to fix them as they aged, but it never occured to me that there wouldn't be anyone to fix them or any parts to fix them with. And so on.....
How in the world is anyone happy with all these problems? I don't get it
Am I just unlucky? Or is it really just the brain chemicals? I do everything on that list of being happy ( I sleep here , I get physical exercise every day, I eat well, I do yoga, I do invite friends over sometimes) but none of that helps. About the only thing I can do is to smoke a lot of weed.....

 

[FarmOR]

It seems to me that some have unrealistic expectations of reality? This notion of the state of euphoria and eternal bliss? Life is more cyclical.

Happiness is not an everlasting cruise control? It's quite natural to feel some discomfort. It's natural to strive for a better tomorrow.

Another sheep herders perspective: my ewes cannot realize abundance without experiencing some attrition for comparison. This is demonstrated by the trick to get them to produce more twins, termed "flushing" - for reasons that I don't understand. They must endure a period of time of deficit before an abundance of feed is made available and then the rams are introduced to breed. The end result is a higher incidence of twins over singles.

It's something that I think applies to people too? You probably know the silver spoon types? Born into a state of abundance and takes it for granted. The smallest and insignificant inconvenience is a tragedy because they've never really lived in true attrition? Remember Tammy Baker back in the day? Crying, "we're down to our last million dollars!"

 

[BBLife]

Television makes you retarded.

All depends on what you watch. Growing up I had full reign on the TV channel selections. Only because my dad put education first and I just liked watching things like NOVA, Wild Kingdom, Woodwright Shop, and all sorts of things like that. Brother and sister hating me as all they wanted to watch was Happy Days.

 

[Magus]

Oh, I did too, you and I were 70's and 80's kids apparently. but tell me honestly. can you watch the damn thing for more than a couple of hours of modern stuff before you start feeling mentally and morally violated?

 

[Weedygarden]

Oh, I did too, you and I were 70's and 80's kids apparently. but tell me honestly. can you watch the damn thing for more than a couple of hours of modern stuff before you start feeling mentally and morally violated?

I don't think you need to watch that long. Sometimes when I am housesitting, I'll turn it on just to remind myself why I don't watch mine at home anymore. Sometimes it takes less than a minute.

 

[Weedygarden]

I was visiting with someone about A.D.D. There are seven different kinds of it, and some people get really angry quickly. He told me that was him. He would realize that he was being over reactive, but couldn't stop it. He is a 40 year old man who takes medication and it has made all the difference for him. He says he is a much happier person. The thing about ADD medication is that people are often over medicated, or the kind they are prescribed doesn't work for them.

 

[Magus]

I remember the day I got off the glass teat well, 9-11 was like last week's history, Our government was beating war drums over IRAQ, not Afghanistan, a lot of our European "friends" were calling us crybabies, and telling us to get over ourselves. my drinking buddy (Nam Vet) was just sitting there, bug-eyed and saying some crap in Vietnamese to himself, I'd just gotten crippled, dumped, and robbed blind in like a three-month period and, it was so weird! I literally felt my brain-fuse blow! The inside of my skull felt hot and the room turned orange, I picked up my trench pick and just slammed it broadside through the front of the damn thing, drug it outside, kicked the crap out of it, and heaved it into the dumpster. I never felt so free in my life!

 

[backlash]

We just spent over 3 weeks house/cat sitting and we turned on the TV once so I could show my wife a YouTube video.
We didn't miss it at all.

 

[Tirediron]

I find the perpetually pointing out how bad they have it people exhausting, but the polar opposite needing everything to be ultra Rosie people even worse. looking at things as they are is a lot more realistic, and more so finding the lesson in "unfortunate" circumstances more rewarding than whining.
And for the record being cantankerous is not the same as whining.

 

[Magus]

Does being a grouch count?
The Bible says:
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
I have raised b1tching and moaning to an art, they're going to make me live forever!

 

[Spikedriver]

I believe that, as a society, we are becoming more narcissistic in the U.S.

Narcissism always tears down, it never builds. It's a "Me, Me, Me" kind of way of looking at things. Others are there to make you happy, but shouldn't expect anything from you in return except what you believe will make then be what you want them to be.

I came from a very non-narcissistic family. We have people with their own issues of course, but nobody expected that everyone else would serve them without question. Marrying into a family that was run by a narcissistic mother was a huge shock to me, because it was totally hidden from the outside looking in.

Now, I see it everywhere. It is extolled as a virtue for Gen Z - and anyone who doesn't do what they want, say what they want, and be what they want, is derided as being narcissistic. As a result, they only have what some one else does for them or gives to them, and they're unhappy, filled with anxiety, and on antidepressants.

I have hope though. I have watched my best friend's son go from a scared 24 year old, working an entry level restaurant job and being told he has to move out of his parents house, to being 30, managing that restaurant, with his own nice place and a wonderful fiance and having self confidence. He's being considered for manager over multiple restaurants in a large Midwestern city. The point is that he learned what accomplishment is, how good it is to know that one can handle his own life and responsibility. All Gen Zs and tail end Millenials can do that but most will only ever stay at the bottom rung of society, washing the dishes instead of running the business. There has to be a way to get through to them, but the rest of us haven't been able to find it yet. Until then, I'll celebrate the ones like my buddy's son and I'll encourage my own daughter to follow that example...

 

[Haertig]

...they only have what some one else does for them or gives to them, and they're unhappy, filled with anxiety, and on antidepressants.

You can use these people who expect you to always meet their needs first, and are disappointed when you don't, to boost your own happiness.

Word of the day: "schadenfreude"

p.s. - I love the line below the word showing how to pronounce it. Like that's going to help anybody...

 

[Spikedriver]

You can use these people who expect you to always meet their needs first, and are disappointed when you don't, to boost your own happiness.

Word of the day: "schadenfreude"

View attachment 109500

p.s. - I love the line below the word showing how to pronounce it. Like that's going to help anybody...

I can only find self satisfaction in someone else's troubles, failures, or humiliation when it's an example of "the chickens coming home to roost". Beyond that, those things bother me...

 

[Haertig]

While expecting others to do everything for them and give everything to them does not fit into the classic "chickens coming home to roost" category, it does fit as an unrealistic burden they inappropriately put on others. And for that, I'm all for a little schadenfreude when their self-centered expectations are not met.

 

[Hardcalibres]

True happiness comes from within.

What happiness does come from outside your head, is fleeting and illusory.........it is the fast food version of happiness.

Most very unhappy people have failed to take responsibility for the course of their own lives.

Most people who assess they are unlucky, are prone to bad judgement and the undesirable outcomes that frequently follow bad decisions.

 

[Magus]

I believe that, as a society, we are becoming more narcissistic in the U.S.

Narcissism always tears down, it never builds. It's a "Me, Me, Me" kind of way of looking at things. Others are there to make you happy, but shouldn't expect anything from you in return except what you believe will make then be what you want them to be.

I came from a very non-narcissistic family. We have people with their own issues of course, but nobody expected that everyone else would serve them without question. Marrying into a family that was run by a narcissistic mother was a huge shock to me, because it was totally hidden from the outside looking in.

Now, I see it everywhere. It is extolled as a virtue for Gen Z - and anyone who doesn't do what they want, say what they want, and be what they want, is derided as being narcissistic. As a result, they only have what some one else does for them or gives to them, and they're unhappy, filled with anxiety, and on antidepressants.

I have hope though. I have watched my best friend's son go from a scared 24 year old, working an entry level restaurant job and being told he has to move out of his parents house, to being 30, managing that restaurant, with his own nice place and a wonderful fiance and having self confidence. He's being considered for manager over multiple restaurants in a large Midwestern city. The point is that he learned what accomplishment is, how good it is to know that one can handle his own life and responsibility. All Gen Zs and tail end Millenials can do that but most will only ever stay at the bottom rung of society, washing the dishes instead of running the business. There has to be a way to get through to them, but the rest of us haven't been able to find it yet. Until then, I'll celebrate the ones like my buddy's son and I'll encourage my own daughter to follow that example...

I find historically that rampant narcissism is a prelude to a fall of a civilization. Egypt, Rome, Greece, Nazi Germany, and San Francisco on a smaller scale were and are eaten up with it! Once the spoiled brats run the show, it's over in a generation. Self-assessment, humility, and care for your fellow beings are pillars of any civilization. I say get dirty, Love one another, and laugh at yourself every once in a while and we'll be here until the door closes.