You Know You're Getting Old When...

[Morgan101]

You have seven pairs of reading glasses throughout your house, but you can’t find any of them, including the ones on your head.

Isn't that the truth!! I was forewarned about that long before I needed reading glasses, and it turned out to be the Gospel truth. I was told you will have a pair with you, a pair in the house, a pair in your office, a pair in your car, a pair in your workshop, a pair in your tackle box, a pair in your golf bag. Now I have all of those plus pairs in all of our BOB's, a pair in my officiating bag. We should have bought stock.

 

[RidgeRunner]

Remember the old $20.00 bill. I think the format changed in 1996. I was getting cash in $20's and one of the old bills came up. The teller who was quite young had to ask the Branch Manager if it was real.

View attachment 79621

I remember when everyone paid cash, there were no credit cards, and the merchant kept his money in a cigar box. They didn't see a need for a cash register.

 

[RidgeRunner]

People like to confide in me. I finally realized why..........I can't hear half of what they say, and can't remember the other half.

 

[dademoss]

Couple years back I volunteered as a CASA with a local advocate group. The young man I advocated for asked me what a floppy disk was. He got to see punch cards, 8 inch disks, 5 1/4 in disks and 3 1/2 disks, looked me like I knew Noah personally

He also learned I could tell time on an analog watch, drive a manual transmission and read the secret code of cursive, and use a map and compass.

 

[Amish Heart]

Husband can't hear either, and when I repeat myself to him a couple of times, he tells me I should get my hearing tested.
I keep a running list of things I need to bring up from the basement. Otherwise I get down there and don't know why. I like to keep a piece of paper and pen in my apron pocket. I clean up a room, and make a mental note to bring in or do something else, and my brain will chase squirrels and I'll forget it by the time I hit the next room. When the grandkids were younger, they were mesmorized by my record player. They thought it was awesome to play one side, turn it over, and play the other side.

 

[Neb]

I have developed a habit of repeating the reasons why I get to get something... like a mantra.

Ben

 

[phideaux]

I knew I was getting old when I finally realized and accepted the fact that I can not do things as fast as I once did. Sad day for me.
The brain was eager , but the body couldn't keep up.

Jim

 

[Acdoctor]

I've paid with those and two dollar bills. Confuses the young ones.

I once got change back from a local store, the clerk ask did I want a bill , I said sure.
it was a 2 dollar silver note. I will take them all day long.

 

[The Lazy L]

Grandpa
Dad
Me

Dad
Me
Son
Grandson

Me
Son
Grandson

 

[Curmudgeon]

You Know You're Getting Old When...

you tip over trying to put your breeches on?

 

[Amish Heart]

That's why there is now a chair in the bathroom.

 

[Patchouli]

When my adult kid takes my phone and says here let me do it.
Or at work when someone calls and I say we start shutting things down at 10 til 6. There is usually silence and then they say, “what time?!”
My daughter’s boyfriend bought me a turntable. Isn’t that cute?

 

[Tacitus]

...and use a map and compass.

I assume that the Army has had to increase its map reading and land navigation classes 10-fold in the past 10 years.

When I was a teen, I had friends at schools all over my fairly large city, and I had a map book to find the parties. Every Friday and Saturday night involved a land navigation seminar for me...otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get to the parties...and I really got to know the city well.

My kids?...they just pull out that phone and type in the address, and still have no idea where things are in the city. Why would they need to know where anything is?...they just type it into the phone. I am still astounded when they don't know where a local landmark is.

 

[dademoss]

I assume that the Army has had to increase its map reading and land navigation classes 10-fold in the past 10 years.

When I was a teen, I had friends at schools all over my fairly large city, and I had a map book to find the parties. Every Friday and Saturday night involved a land navigation seminar for me...otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get to the parties...and I really got to know the city well. My kids?...they just pull out that phone and type in the address, and still have no idea where things are in the city. Why would they need to know where anything is?...they just type it into the phone.

Just wait till that "NO SERVICE" shows up. Had both "No Service" and "No Satellites" A time or two, that's when the paper maps come out. The Subaru actually has a compass, and there is a real magnetic one in the map case.

 

[joel]

I can see passing a one half cent in a store these days!
If it has an Kangaroo on it it not early American!

 

[LadyLocust]

Anyone remember the show 'Laugh In'??

When my oldest son was young and I'd tuck him in at night I'd always tell him 'Say goodnight Dick'. One night he finally asked me 'Mom, who's Dick?' and I had to explain it was how they closed the tv show.

Mind you, that was 30 years ago......so as much as it had made me feel old then to tell him about it, it really makes me feel old to tell you now.

We call our trailer Mrs. Calabash, the license plate is Durante & there is a decal across the back that reads "Good night Mrs. Calabash wherever you are." I'm sure there are only a handful of folks out there who "get it."

 

[jazzy]

you know yer getting old when you walk down the street past a store window and see your reflection and wonder who the heck is That????

 

[backlash]

you know yer getting old when you walk down the street past a store window and see your reflection and wonder who the heck is That????

That also applies to drunks.
My Uncle told the story about when he was in a bar in Korea. He said every time he looked over there was a guy staring at him. He finally had enough and jumped up to go kick the guys butt and then realized he was looking in a mirror at himself. His Army buddies got a laugh out of that.

 

[Terri9630]

About 10yrs ago I started seeing a lady, our first date. We were both Tolkien fans so went to see one of the hobbit movies at the theater.

When I bought our tickets it was less than it should have been, didn't notice until I was paying for popcorn and sodas.

We had to wait a few minutes... I was looking at the tickets to solve the price puzzle.

Then I saw it... in the corner of the ticket "SR". The pimply faced snot gave me the senior discount!!! I think I'd just turned 50! I'm on a date so I can't got back give the little snot an education. Senior Discount my backside!!!! I was offended.

These days I don't mind!

The lady at the Dollar store did that to me the other day. I just barely turned 50!!

 

[Terri9630]

When you know what a "3 in the tree" is and know how to drive it. I watched a video of a couple of guys trying to steal my old truck. They thought the gear shift was broken!!

 

[backlash]

When you know what a "3 in the tree" is and know how to drive it.

That's what I learned to drive on. Grandpa's Ford F100.
I know I'm old when I say "the other day" and my wife says that was 50 years ago.
In my defense "the other day" can be anywhere from yesterday back to the beginning of life.
My wife had mixed feelings about senior discounts. She hated admitting she was old but she's cheap so she took the discount.
These days it just a given we're old enough for a discount.

 

[Peanut]

When you know what a "3 in the tree" is and know how to drive it. I watched a video of a couple of guys trying to steal my old truck. They thought the gear shift was broken!!

I mounted a manual choke on a 78 ford truck I owned. Didn't have time or cash to replace the carb. This was winter in upstate NY.

I got transferred to LA. The first night there someone tried to steal my truck... and flooded it. They didn't know what a manual choke was or how to start a vehicle with one. There after I always pulled the choke full when I got out of my truck.

 

[joel]

I mounted a manual choke on a 78 ford truck I owned. Didn't have time or cash to replace the carb. This was winter in upstate NY.

I got transferred to LA. The first night there someone tried to steal my truck... and flooded it. They didn't know what a manual choke was or how to start a vehicle with one. There after I always pulled the choke full when I got out of my truck.

Last time I used a manual choke, I also pushed the starter with my left foot(1966 ford).

 

[viking]

Listening to the classic rock station and all my favorites are on it, and I don't recognize the music that's on the regular rock station. The music I considered classic rock is now on the oldies station!

I have fond memories of music programs that were on TV in the 50's, Les Paul and Mary Ford had a show and I heard Chet Atkins, probably on the Johnny Cash show. Once and a while I'll hear some classic rock that shows up on a local FM station, I like listening to Quarterflash ,"Gonna Harden My Heart", the gal that sings that song also plays the sax.

 

[kenv1950]

If you remember ( PARTY LINES )

 

[Cascadian]

I am so old I remember talking back to my momma, once.

 

[Acdoctor]

I am so old I remember talking back to my momma, once.

We’re glad you lived thru that storm , LOL

 

[viking]

I knew I was getting old when I finally realized and accepted the fact that I can not do things as fast as I once did. Sad day for me.
The brain was eager , but the body couldn't keep up.

Jim

That's the truth, but with me it's gravity, if I get down on my knees to do something, in order to get up I realize how strong gravity has become.

 

[phideaux]

I remember the smell in a cotton field , early morning , dew on the cotton leaves.
Getting ready to chop cotton all day.
Then picking that same cotton in the fall.

Jim

 

[Morgan101]

That's the truth, but with me it's gravity, if I get down on my knees to do something, in order to get up I realize how strong gravity has become.

Viking, that is because many of us were born before the Law of Gravity was passed.