If your idea of foreplay is whispering " psst, hey Sis, you awake?". You might be a Redneck.
You MIGHT be a Redneck...
- Thread starter DrHenley
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That is just so not right. . . lol
If you live in a town that has 500 residents but there are only four last names in the phone book....... You might be a Redneck!!'
You mean all those things aren't normal?
ok, mental note to self, "Brent S is from a small Redneck town. "
might be a redneck if you see 3 day old road kill..and think..how can i fix that up right where no one knows any better
You might be a Redneck if your Daddy walks to school with......
'cause he is in the same grade.
'cause he is in the same grade.
So Jethro and his wife Selma are talking about their need for money one day. After many ideas thrown back and forth Selma says " I done Hurd they was a lookin' for new Deptety Shurrufs, you should go get that there job."
So Jethro goes down to the station and tells them he wants a job as a Deputy.
They find the Chief and he sits Jethro down and says that he is sorry but the position has already been filled.
Jethro then asks the Chief if there are other openings available.
The Chief says the only job they have open is Investigator.
Jethro says he'll take it.
The Chief asks " what kind of experience do you have?"
Jethro says " I'm purty good at figuring out car problems so I guess that there makes me a purty good Investigator.And I knows a lot about guns. "
The Chief then say that he is gonna ask him some questions to feel him out for the job.
Jethro says he is ok with that.
The Chief asks " Who killed President Lincoln?"
Jethro says " John W. Booth"
Chief : your right
Jethro: I knowed that.
Chief: who killed JFK?
Jethro: after five minutes of hard thought, " Oswald"
Chief: right
Chief: who killed Oswald!
Jethro: I don't know.
Chief: well then go home and think about it and come back when you have the answer.
So Jethro goes home.
When he gets there Selma asks if he got the job.
Jethro replies " yup! Already working on a murder case.".
So Jethro goes down to the station and tells them he wants a job as a Deputy.
They find the Chief and he sits Jethro down and says that he is sorry but the position has already been filled.
Jethro then asks the Chief if there are other openings available.
The Chief says the only job they have open is Investigator.
Jethro says he'll take it.
The Chief asks " what kind of experience do you have?"
Jethro says " I'm purty good at figuring out car problems so I guess that there makes me a purty good Investigator.And I knows a lot about guns. "
The Chief then say that he is gonna ask him some questions to feel him out for the job.
Jethro says he is ok with that.
The Chief asks " Who killed President Lincoln?"
Jethro says " John W. Booth"
Chief : your right
Jethro: I knowed that.
Chief: who killed JFK?
Jethro: after five minutes of hard thought, " Oswald"
Chief: right
Chief: who killed Oswald!
Jethro: I don't know.
Chief: well then go home and think about it and come back when you have the answer.
So Jethro goes home.
When he gets there Selma asks if he got the job.
Jethro replies " yup! Already working on a murder case.".
Well, wasn't a church, but we did have our dog in the wedding....
Well, belt buckle has my initial, so probably close enough....
I have trucks, a tractor, horses, and lots of other animals, so yeah, I guess I'm one these days. I even joined the American Redneck Society ( http://www.americanrednecksociety.com/?beingaredneck )....
You'd run back into a burning house because the Yankee fool lying on the floor that you just had a huge punch out with has your false teeth stuck in his fist.
Yo Dude you bust me up.
If you first words as a child were " attention Walmart shoppers", you might be a Redneck.
... if your house is on wheels but your car is on blocks
So this young couple gets married, has the reception and then leaves for the honeymoon with every body cheering for them.
Later that night they arrive at the hotel and check in.
Once in the room, the young bride goes into the bathroom. 25 minutes later she re-enters the room in a really sexy neglige. The groom is super excited and sweeps her into his arms and kisses her deeply. As their lips break apart, breathlessly she looks him in the eye and says " be gentle, I'm a virgin". The groom immediately let's her go, packs his bags and leaves.
He drives 6 hours to his parents house and once there flops down on the couch.
His Daddy says " sumptin wrong boy? You jest got hitched, why you is here?".
The Groom looks at his Daddy and says " she told me she was a virgin. "
His looks at him and says" you done the right thing coming home Son. If she ain't good enough for her OWN family, then she ain't good enough for ours".
Later that night they arrive at the hotel and check in.
Once in the room, the young bride goes into the bathroom. 25 minutes later she re-enters the room in a really sexy neglige. The groom is super excited and sweeps her into his arms and kisses her deeply. As their lips break apart, breathlessly she looks him in the eye and says " be gentle, I'm a virgin". The groom immediately let's her go, packs his bags and leaves.
He drives 6 hours to his parents house and once there flops down on the couch.
His Daddy says " sumptin wrong boy? You jest got hitched, why you is here?".
The Groom looks at his Daddy and says " she told me she was a virgin. "
His looks at him and says" you done the right thing coming home Son. If she ain't good enough for her OWN family, then she ain't good enough for ours".
wrong, wrong, wrong!
