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Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you before I give him my answer.”

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 p.m. Dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit. And he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs. And what's there; a limousine, uniformed chauffeur, and all. Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvelous dinner; lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go to a show. Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much, I could have just died from pleasure! So, then we came back to my apartment. And he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy!!! He tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me three times!”

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! So, you’re telling me I shouldn't go?”

”Edna: "No, no, no ... I'm just saying, wear an old dress."
 
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed.
He asked her where she was going and she replied: I'm going to Las Vegas.
He asked her why she was going.
She told him, I just found out that as a woman I can make $400 a night doing what I give you for free.
He went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the porch.
His wife said, And just where do you think you are going?
I’m going too he replied.
Why she asked.
I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year
 
if your bacon dont crunch then its technically not dead yet. chewy bacon means its still fighting back, crunchy vbacon means you already won and are a Baconator.
I beg to differ.

Those of us with no teeth reserve the right to enjoy bacon without abusing our gums.

Ben
 
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