Jokes and Humor
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Jim
Dad's belt , mom's spoon.
Yowee...
Jim
Yowee...
Jim
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I remember, but even Mom would resort to whatever was handy, raising 5 boys and two girls.
Those spoons are worthless! My belt holds my gun in place. I used a Lexan paddle 4 inches wide, 3/16" thick and 12" long.
I never used it to hurt my kids but it was very loud when it hit its mark.
The last time I used it on my oldest daughter she smiled and turned to me and asked if that was supposed to hurt... I shifted my glaze and asked her if she wanted it to hurt. Lesson learned.
The most effective use of that paddle was when my second son had disrespected his mother and challenged my authority. I sent him to his room and I tried to cool down. I wanted to really make him understand how upset I was with his behavior. After about ten minutes I took the paddle into his room - he was across the room from me and I said "I am really disappointed in you"... And then I broke that Lexan paddle over MY knee. It exploded into three pieces and I turned and walked out of the room. Lexan is "bullet proof" plastic... It's not supposed to break.
Funny thing is I made a new one and it hung on the wall but was never needed again. I guess he got the point.
I really love all my kids and I never liked using discipline on them but I knew it was necessary for them to learn self discipline. The line between right and wrong held steady in my home. Today I am proud of all my kids. They are upstanding individuals who work hard and love completely. Good kids!
I never used it to hurt my kids but it was very loud when it hit its mark.
The last time I used it on my oldest daughter she smiled and turned to me and asked if that was supposed to hurt... I shifted my glaze and asked her if she wanted it to hurt. Lesson learned.
The most effective use of that paddle was when my second son had disrespected his mother and challenged my authority. I sent him to his room and I tried to cool down. I wanted to really make him understand how upset I was with his behavior. After about ten minutes I took the paddle into his room - he was across the room from me and I said "I am really disappointed in you"... And then I broke that Lexan paddle over MY knee. It exploded into three pieces and I turned and walked out of the room. Lexan is "bullet proof" plastic... It's not supposed to break.
Funny thing is I made a new one and it hung on the wall but was never needed again. I guess he got the point.
I really love all my kids and I never liked using discipline on them but I knew it was necessary for them to learn self discipline. The line between right and wrong held steady in my home. Today I am proud of all my kids. They are upstanding individuals who work hard and love completely. Good kids!
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As a kid he must have loved an Etch-A-Sketch.
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I loved algebra trig geometry calculus complex variables...
It was quantum mechanics that bumbed me out. It is not comutative.
(Trust me. It is a math joke)
Ben
I guess I'm a nerd also... I loved algebra, favorite subject.
- Joined
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Good.
I will get a few math related funny stories out of my system all at once.
1
Final in calc 3 asked:
Luke Skywalker is traveling along a specified vector when he realizes he is low on fuel. He chrcks his star charts and finds the closest space port located at XYZ . He has enough fuel to deliver X amount of energy. He fires his thrusters at specified vector.
Qs
A is he on the right line?
B does he make it?
A) Yes
B) no he is traveling in the opposite direction.
2
Physics final
A student weighing a specified amount runs at a brick wall ruuning at a certain rate that can be modeled as a certain energy barrier.
Q
What is the probability he will rematerialize on the other side of the wall?
Ben does the algebra and punches all of the numbers into his calculator. Results = ERROR. The number was too large for the calculator! I had to do all of the arithmetic by hand.
3
The students in a classical mechanics class was trying to lobby for being able to use a cheat sheet on exams.
Professor: "What do you want me to put on the cheat sheet, f=ma?"
4
A technical question came up in conversation and I said "Give me a minute, I can figure that out."
The Princess said "Stand back! He is going to do math."
Ok
That is out my system now. I will try and behave.
Ben
Jim
