Jokes and Humor
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Jim
Actually Viagra was developed as a heart medication. At the end of the study the participants were required to return all of the unused medication. None of them did. They started selling it for the side effect and forgot about marketing it for what it was developed for.
You will be brave, just like the rest of us, and wear that silly Christmas sweater.
It's required
.
Jim
Eggs, the abortion you eat for breakfast.
These weekends are starting to feel like a 30 min lunch break.
Jim
Jim
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MiscarriageEggs, the abortion you eat for breakfast.
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@Weedygarden and @Terri9630 this guy on the video has a youtube channel. I posted one of his videos here recently where he was yacking about covid and homeschooling. I thought it was hilarious since I used to be a homeschool mom (please, no denim jumpers and buns).
Anyway, if you click on the little photo up in the left corner of his "weather" broadcast, it takes you right to his youtube channel. This was all an act. He doesn't work for the news station. His name is John Crist. He's a goof.
Also: @Amish Heart
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Actually, Viagra (or more correctly, sildenifil, the generic) is still used as a treatment for pulmonary atrial hypertension.
What was the one that grew hair?
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Even though I don't watch this channel or television much, I at least should have known him for Denver news. No wonder I didn't know him.
Your Fired!!!
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No, it's the one that grew something surrounded by hair.
True story… The cat w/mouse reminds me of a guy I know got fired from a company I used to work for (he was actually fired twice, I fired him the first time, my boss re-hired him then fired him again).
Expense reports/daily meals, everyone I worked with collected the meal checks that come with a tear away tab at the bottom. They have a printed number on it and a place to write in the cost of a meal. You can buy these receipt booklets at office supply stores. I never bothered with buying a booklet, just saved the blank ones I got occasionally.
The guys I worked with and my boss occasionally loses an actual receipt for a meal when traveling. When filling out a weekly expense report these “saved Guest Check Tabs” would be used to replace lost receipts, everyone did this at the company I worked for. As long as it wasn’t obvious abuse it was okay.
This guy who got fired was so lazy he bought a receipt booklet and then used the tear off tabs to fill out a weekly meal report, breakfast, lunch and dinner… for 7 days. He wasn’t fired for using tear off tabs since we all did it occasionally.
He was fired because he left these tabs with printed numbers… IN SEQUENTIAL ORDER!!! He was fired for being to lazy/stupid to at least mix up the tabs. His weekly meal report looked like he was the only person to eat at a restaurant with only one waitress for 21 straight meals. He actually turned in 4 weeks worth, 84 meals with tabs in sequential order.
Would you want to be scanned by a Catscan this guy worked on???
Expense reports/daily meals, everyone I worked with collected the meal checks that come with a tear away tab at the bottom. They have a printed number on it and a place to write in the cost of a meal. You can buy these receipt booklets at office supply stores. I never bothered with buying a booklet, just saved the blank ones I got occasionally.
The guys I worked with and my boss occasionally loses an actual receipt for a meal when traveling. When filling out a weekly expense report these “saved Guest Check Tabs” would be used to replace lost receipts, everyone did this at the company I worked for. As long as it wasn’t obvious abuse it was okay.
This guy who got fired was so lazy he bought a receipt booklet and then used the tear off tabs to fill out a weekly meal report, breakfast, lunch and dinner… for 7 days. He wasn’t fired for using tear off tabs since we all did it occasionally.
He was fired because he left these tabs with printed numbers… IN SEQUENTIAL ORDER!!! He was fired for being to lazy/stupid to at least mix up the tabs. His weekly meal report looked like he was the only person to eat at a restaurant with only one waitress for 21 straight meals. He actually turned in 4 weeks worth, 84 meals with tabs in sequential order.
Would you want to be scanned by a Catscan this guy worked on???
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I also had to file weekly expense reports. I saved every receipt and kept good records but some of the guys I worked with just made it up as they were doing their reports.
I did get questioned when I expensed 3 rental cars in 3 different cities in 3 different states for several days each. On top of that, I wrote off parking for all 3 rental cars at the airports.
I rented a car in Spokane, WA, drove to the hospital, found the problem ordered parts that wouldn't arrive for 3 days. Then flew to Portland, OR, and repeated the process. Then flew to Sacramento, CA, and did it again.
Flew back to Spokane, then Portland then to Sacramento installed the parts. It was easier to rent a car at each place and just park it until I returned.
My expenses average around $5,000 a month for several years. I had a lot of frequent flyer miles.
My boss said I was traveling too much, no kidding.
I did get questioned when I expensed 3 rental cars in 3 different cities in 3 different states for several days each. On top of that, I wrote off parking for all 3 rental cars at the airports.
I rented a car in Spokane, WA, drove to the hospital, found the problem ordered parts that wouldn't arrive for 3 days. Then flew to Portland, OR, and repeated the process. Then flew to Sacramento, CA, and did it again.
Flew back to Spokane, then Portland then to Sacramento installed the parts. It was easier to rent a car at each place and just park it until I returned.
My expenses average around $5,000 a month for several years. I had a lot of frequent flyer miles.
My boss said I was traveling too much, no kidding.
You know exactly how screwed up the paperwork could get. Several states, half dozen cities, toss in another country and my monthly paperwork could take up half a shelf at the library of congress!
With the company in the above story we could expense up to $30 a day for food. I never tried to cheat but some guys did. But over the course of a month receipts just had a way of getting lost.
I've stayed at hotels that had a Continental breakfast they charged for but itemized on the hotel bill. Lodging was a completely different expense report than the one for meals.
Sometimes on cheap airlines I had to buy my meal... the travel expense report was completely different than the first 2!. It could get very complicated very quickly, especially when there were so many cities it was difficult to remember where I was on any given day... much less remember what I had for breakfast that morning... And where the heck is that receipt?
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I worked with a guy that was the worst at paperwork. He traveled constantly. The company withheld his paycheck until he got caught up. He hadn't done any paperwork for over 6 months including timesheets.
He didn't pay his company Amex bill because he didn't get his expense check if he didn't send in the reports.
He had a briefcase stuffed full of greasy receipts from fast food places. It took him 2 days to get caught up. He was paid OT and he had to try to remember where he was and when he worked for the last 6 months.
I would bet all of his reports were just made up. He could repair GE 9800 scanners so it was overlooked.
He didn't pay his company Amex bill because he didn't get his expense check if he didn't send in the reports.
He had a briefcase stuffed full of greasy receipts from fast food places. It took him 2 days to get caught up. He was paid OT and he had to try to remember where he was and when he worked for the last 6 months.
I would bet all of his reports were just made up. He could repair GE 9800 scanners so it was overlooked.
Viagra. Another Pfizer wonder drug. Originally discovered as a medication for heart related chest pain. You know some guy was talking to his doctor.
Doctor: " Have you had any side effects from this medication?"
Patient: " Well there has been one. Mind you, I'm not complaining."
A new word.
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