Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
- Start date
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True story… was installing a Catscan at the University of California, San Francisco. In front of the hospital there were always tables with students demanding this or that, had petitions for people to sign.
A young man asked me to sign his petition so people could ride bikes on city streets. I said “Sure”. He said “You don’t look like a bike rider” “Why do you want to sign?”.
I said “I believe in natural selection. If you want to ride in traffic… go right ahead!”
He got mad and wouldn’t let me sign his petition…
The look on his face was priceless.
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Jim
Jim
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Thinking back to college:
Heisenberg, Schrödinger, and Ohm are in a car driving fast on the autobahn. They get pulled over by the police. Heisenberg was driving and the cop asks him:
- "Do you know how fast you were going?"
- "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says:
- "You were doing 100 km/h in a 70 km/h zone."
Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts:
- "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says:
- "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
- "We do now, you jerk!" shouts Schrödinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
Heisenberg, Schrödinger, and Ohm are in a car driving fast on the autobahn. They get pulled over by the police. Heisenberg was driving and the cop asks him:
- "Do you know how fast you were going?"
- "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says:
- "You were doing 100 km/h in a 70 km/h zone."
Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts:
- "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says:
- "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
- "We do now, you jerk!" shouts Schrödinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
You probably have to be a nerd who's into mathematics and control systems to get this one:
"Did you hear about the great Polish air tragedy in New York?"
"They were flying in, and someone said, Look! There's the statue of liberty on the right!"
Then all the poles shifted to the right half plane, it became unstable, and crashed.
"Did you hear about the great Polish air tragedy in New York?"
"They were flying in, and someone said, Look! There's the statue of liberty on the right!"
Then all the poles shifted to the right half plane, it became unstable, and crashed.
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