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A man smelling of beer and cigarettes sat down on a subway next to a priest. His tie was stained, there was red lipstick on his collar and face and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me Father, do you happen to know what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by loose living, consorting with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned", then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The man answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope suffers from it."

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.
 
A man smelling of beer and cigarettes sat down on a subway next to a priest. ...
Reminds me of an actual "A man sat down next to priest" story that I just heard the other day.

Our parish priest was out running errands (in his "civilian" clothes), and he had car trouble. He called AAA, and he ended up going on an hour long ride in the AAA truck. With an hour to kill, he and the driver struck up a conversation.

The driver really opened up, and talked about all the bad decisions he'd made that led him to where he was in life. (Apparently, at some point, he mentioned that he had been raised Catholic.)

Toward the end of the ride, our priest asked him, "Since you were raised Catholic, have you ever thought about going to a priest and talking to him about all this, and maybe go to confession?"

Driver: "Oh, hell no! I would never tell any of that to a priest!"

Priest: "You know.......you just did."

:D
 
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