Jokes and Humor

[backlash]

My Grandpa told the story about when was little I said I wanted to make a lot of money so I could buy him some clothes so he didn't have to wear overall all the time.
I can't remember a time when either of my Grandpas wore anything except overall other than on Sundays.
They also had 2 hats each. One for work and one for town.

 

[joel]

View attachment 94992

 

[joel]

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[LadyLocust]

I’ll have to watch it in the morning

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[dademoss]

 

[DrPrepper]

There’s a memory thats stayed with me all these years. The first time I saw precision marching. I’d just arrived in boot camp. 100 guys and myself were herded like cattle to the chow hall. Still in bluejeans, a bunch of civilians. We didn’t know how to march much less form a single line from nonexistent columns. We were standing in front of the chow hall trying to figure this out when…

A female company marched up to the space beside us. They were a week from graduation. Perfect in appearance (per military dress)… and they could march. They came up the street in 6 columns and made a perfect right turn into the empty space, every girl in perfect step and stopped instantly with one sound. Those girls could march!!!

I was impressed, I remember watching them as they came up the street. The rest of the time I felt bad for the girls in boot camp. Badly fitted dumpy uniforms (a sack would have fit better), no makeup, no hair or nail care and many with birth control glasses. As women they looked like hell… but they could march!

Then you would have liked our drill team! For a year or so, I was the commander of the West Coast Military Women's Drill Team (circa 1976-77). We were all stationed at Co C, Defense Language Institute, and our team was made up of Army, Air Force, and Marine women. One of our drill instructors was an old Marine gunny who taught us to twirl our rifles (M1s). Of course, no bayonets, but we were pretty impressive marching in various parades!

 

[zoomzoom]

I was in the Marines and we had some serious marching/drills.

Some other Marines and I were stationed at a Navy base. One of my jobs was to get a squad of about 30 members (half Marines, half Navy) back and forth in formation to a training location 2x daily for weeks. Marines at the front of the formation, Navy behind us.

Well, the Marine cadence calls aren't really in the English language. "Left" is pronounced "alft", "right" is pronounced "ite". We also don't do the calls constantly. More like every 20-30 seconds. The Navy guys couldn't get the hang of it so they were more-or-less just walking behind us. An officer stopped his car and gave me a serious reaming out about the appearance of my formation (the Navy guys just walking).

After the officer left, I went back to the Navy guys and asked who's the senior member of their group. I told that guy that he's now in charge of the sailors and they do their own thing separate from the Marines. We separated but I could hear his calls. It was more like a never ending song. "Your left right, your left and your right".

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[backlash]

View attachment 95056

What happened to her boobs?
Maybe a tranny.

 

[LadyLocust]

What happened to her boobs?
Maybe a tranny.

Better count those ribs first

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[Lenny]

I was in the Marines and we had some serious marching/drills.

Some other Marines and I were stationed at a Navy base. One of my jobs was to get a squad of about 30 members (half Marines, half Navy) back and forth in formation to a training location 2x daily for weeks. Marines at the front of the formation, Navy behind us.

Well, the Marine cadence calls aren't really in the English language. "Left" is pronounced "alft", "right" is pronounced "ite". We also don't do the calls constantly. More like every 20-30 seconds. The Navy guys couldn't get the hang of it so they were more-or-less just walking behind us. An officer stopped his car and gave me a serious reaming out about the appearance of my formation (the Navy guys just walking).

After the officer left, I went back to the Navy guys and asked who's the senior member of their group. I told that guy that he's now in charge of the sailors and they do their own thing separate from the Marines. We separated but I could hear his calls. It was more like a never ending song. "Your left right, your left and your right".

Too funny! Navy, Vietnam here. Sometimes Marines sat next to us Navy guys in a bar. To keep from getting into a fight I'd say, "Hey! The Navy sucks more than the Marines!" Then one of them would say, "No, the Marines suck more than the Navy." Then we'd all sit together and get drunker.

 

[zoomzoom]

Oh yea, there's always branch rivalries and we pick on each other all the time. But, anyone outside the military goes after a service member, all the members of every branch will support their brother in arms.

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[Lenny]

Oh yea, there's always branch rivalries and we pick on each other all the time. But, anyone outside the military goes after a service member, all the members of every branch will support their brother in arms.

Darn right. When I stood shore patrol, we were ordered to arrest anyone fighting in the Philippines and Japan. Those Marines just got shot at in Nam, so we pulled them apart and sent them away.

 

[Peanut]

I didn't like shore patrol duty... didn't like the idea of arresting my friends. Who, to be honest had way to much to drink and doing things they shouldn't, still... they were my friends. On any other day I'd be with them! Only got stuck with the duty a few times and never had to arrest anyone. Once cops were happy to pass my drunk friends into my care instead of taking them to jail... I got them safely back to the ship.

 

[Lenny]

I didn't like shore patrol duty... didn't like the idea of arresting my friends. Who, to be honest had way to much to drink and doing things they shouldn't, still... they were my friends. On any other day I'd be with them! Only got stuck with the duty a few times and never had to arrest anyone. Once cops were happy to pass my drunk friends into my care instead of taking them to jail... I got them safely back to the ship.

Good for you! Another great example of the team work we're talking about.

 

[rusty]

GOOGLE
God's Only Official Guide to Learn Everything
Makes sense now

 

[dademoss]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[kd4ulw]

My bladder in the middle of the night.

 

[backlash]

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[Peanut]

Monty python was a special kind of funny! They were the movies everyone quoted back then... (and Mel Brooks films).