Jokes and Humor

[Lenny]

Two blondes arrive on the opposite banks of a river. The first blonde looks up the river, then down the river and notices that there is no bridge in sight. She then hollers to the blonde on the other bank, "How do I get on the other side?" The second blonde yells back to her "You already are on the other side."

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[LadyLocust]

View attachment 112211

Gotta get @Supervisor42 tagged in this one . Bon appetite!

 

[Supervisor42]

Gotta get @Supervisor42 tagged in this one . Bon appetite!

Hah! We would just make a gumbo with it down here.

 

[Cascadian]

I just had a life saving idea that I think is pure genius. You know how hospitals will x-ray your Halloween candy and make sure it's safe. What if the government made it ok to check your cocaine for fentanyl?

 

[Woody]

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Magus]

View attachment 112229

Yes, indeed they do! throw up shields, lock phasers, and hide the kid's eyes. driving by Earth is like driving around in the ghetto, you never know what you'll see but you know sooner or later, you'll see it!

 

[zoomzoom]

 

[dademoss]

 

[dademoss]

 

[backlash]

I just had a life saving idea that I think is pure genius. You know how hospitals will x-ray your Halloween candy and make sure it's safe. What if the government made it ok to check your cocaine for fentanyl?

On the ship there was a door with a mail slot that was used for sailors to put a sample of their drugs in.
They would write some numbers and letters on an envelop put in a small sample of the drug drop it in the slot. A few days later they could read the analysist while waiting in the chow line.
It was amazing to read what was on the aircraft carrier. Everything from powered sugar to pure uncut heroin.
We had a lot of ODs after we left places like Hong Kong or Singapore.
I never understood why a guy would risk the chance of prison for drugs.

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[Lenny]

View attachment 112291

This is a fact! Homosexuals have higher-than-normal rates of suicide, drug and alcohol problems. When I lived in Houston, Texas back in the late 1990s, a psychologist wanted to open a clinic in the gay area town but the leaders there would not let him. He did not want to force anyone to come there, he just wanted to be available if people there needed him. They did not care if people there committed suicide or were destroying their lived with drugs or alcohol, THEY ONLY CARED ABOUT KEEPING THEIR NUMBERS UP! That is VICIOUS!

 

[Magus]

I don't have a problem with being gay IF you're really gay and act dignified about it. what you do in your home in your bed is your business. I have a young friend who thinks he's gay. I told him to get a cucumber and lube it up and put it where he thinks it goes. If you like it, you're gay. he has yet to get back to me on this so I'm guessing he's only socially gay.

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[Caribou]

 

[dademoss]

 

[LadyLocust]

View attachment 112313

Hubby has never seen this movie. It totally ruins it when I use a line from it

 

[Neb]

Hubby has never seen this movie. It totally ruins it when I use a line from it

Until 2 or 3 years ago I hadn't seen it.

It is the title that triggers a man thing.


Ben

 

[LadyLocust]

Until 2 or 3 years ago I hadn't seen it.

It is the title that triggers a man thing.


Ben

He now says I made him watch it but he doesn’t remember it . I said it’s funny so he should commit it to memory