It's evolving/mutating into a deer!
Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
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A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roger's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, flummoxed, speechless, perplexed, and gobsmacked.
Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.
Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.
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Typical Eddie:
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Not real, that is staged, but still funny
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They need a body about a hundred feet ahead.
Am I the only one thinking "Lemme get my skis!"?
I wonder what he is over compensating for.
I knew a guy that had a boat with 3 250 HP outboards.
He said it burned 80 gallons an hour at full speed.
He had a 30 year loan on it and lived with his parents because he couldn't afford to move out.
Aliens learning to speak English. NSFW more than likely in one spot.
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I'm so doing that next time we're at the store.
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A married man went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The man said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box."
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The man said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box."
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"
