Rant for the Day (keep it clean)

[zannej]

I will say that it is incredibly frustrating when the siblings who are not helping/contributing are passing judgment on the ones caring for the parent(s) or family member. I have a friend in her 60s who has been taking care of her disabled sister ever since their parents died. The sister has always had the mind of a child and developed diabetes and wasn't able to manage it properly so she is physically disabled as well. Taking care of her became a fulltime thing. My friend had to quit her job and struggles financially. She did end up finding some programs to help her but many have been shut down during Covid. Through it all, her siblings who lived hours away and did nothing to help constantly criticized her, told her what they think she should be doing (things that are not feasible for her), etc. It's been really rough on her. Although, one of her sisters finally moved closer and has been helping out a little. She got in a wreck and her vehicle was totaled so she can't drive anywhere & can't afford rideshare stuff so she has to get lifts from her sister and niece. Her disabled sister has the mind of a child so just having another adult to talk to has helped her, but things are still tough. Another friend of mine was a nurse and had to quit her job to take care of her disabled mother full time during the last couple years of her mother's life. Her mother developed Parkinson's and brittlebone (so she would break bones just from moving-- which she couldn't stop doing) and then she got cancer. None of the other siblings helped and they pulled the same thing of judging and blaming. They weren't interested in anything until it was time to divide up the assets.

Meanwhile, my Mom is sick now. Having some stomach bug symptoms, stuffy nose, post-nasal drip along with major fatigue. Many of the same symptoms I was having over a week ago. She barely ate today and it worries me since she's diabetic.

 

[The Lazy L]

...I will ask a rhetorical question, have you ever moved a hoarder? ...

My last truck was a compact with a solid bed cover (cover extend above the bed by only 2" or so) on it for two reasons. Primary reason was to limit what could be carried in the bed. In-laws; you have a truck and we have an upright piano we want...can't you remove the cover? No. Only took them two or three times of asking for different moving projects of theirs to realize my truck wouldn't suit there needs. They stop asking .

It's like what size sofa should you have? One that is just short enough, for that "guest" that likes to overextend their stay, to sleep uncomfortably on.

P.S. I'm married to a hoarder.

 

[The Lazy L]

Basement is our "family room". It where the main TV is because wife doesn't want any upstairs...well except the one in her kitchen. "Family Room" because it's another storage area she use's for her pack rat stuff. I have a section of the "family room" carved out for the TV, recliner and a path between the two. Right now I'm learning Youtube "how to" on one of my future projects.

I'm eating my breakfast when the wife says, "Before you go down to the basement could you.." Yes I will and did.

I then brush my teeth and finish dressing for the day. I head to the basement for a Youtube session. Wife is in the basement moving her stuff in the TV to recliner pathway. "Oh? Was you planning on being down here today?" she asks.

She knew when I was eating breakfast that I would be heading to the basement why ten minutes later she fains ignorance?

I move on to my next item for the day...

 

[Double R]

These dag gum neighbors. They have workers remodeling the whole place. Have been asked countless times to stop the bassing music. Well over 3 years of bassing music total. I’ve long ago had enough. The land owner has been contacted and seems to be “concerned” which may have to do with the world of trouble caused by the last set of sub renters for them. Every darn day we have to listens to the walls rattling. Wakes us up. Even with headphones and ear plugs in. Have asked them to stop. Have asked the land owner to make it stop. Still happening. Land owner says they aren’t allowed to have music on. So guess complete disrespect is what’s going on here?
I’ve text the land owner and am waiting for a call back. From now on I’m calling the sheriffs on them. Going to let him know I will no longer contact him about it. While the sheriff won’t do anything other than tell them to keep it down at least it will cause a bit more troubles for the land owner and the workers. It’s been well over 2 months of trying to get it to stop. I’m tired of trying to let him handle it.

 

[havasu]

Tell the police you are desirous of prosecution for disturbing the peace. Then ask for the name and phone number to the Watch Commander. That will get them helping you.

 

[Double R]

Thank you @havasu. Thank you very much.
It feels so hopeless. It’s been a horrible few years and we’re trying not to be unreasonable but seems we should be able to have reasonable quiet. We have said absolutely nothing about anything other than the music/bass. Again thank you for the advice.

 

[zannej]

DoubleR, that is one of the reasons why I never liked having neighbors. I'm sorry you're having to put up with that, but I hope the police or landowner will be able to do something about it soon.

My gripe is that the $500 equipment from Starlink only comes with a dinky insecure temporary ground mount (does not tether, just sits) and it's $40 to get the eaves mount but it wouldn't be available until March. They also didn't include wired ethernet ports on their new modem and the adapter kit is $20 (also wouldn't arrive until March). So, we will have to hope signal reaches all of the rooms with the modem in a better location and hope that one of the mounts I pulled off old dishes will work. The price was steep though. We preordered a year ago and paid $99. So that was deducted from the price but shipping was $50 and then we were charged 10.45% sales tax. I'm going to have to postpone my dentist appointment to next month. #firstworldproblems

 

[Sourdough]

Alaska House to study Oath Keepers after failing to oust Rep. David Eastman from committees (alaskasnewssource.com)

 

[SheepDog]

I must have been out of the loop; When did someone who took an oath to protect the constitution (first responders, military and patriots) become enemies of the state? I thought that keeping that oath was protecting the state that accepts the constitution as the law of the land.

I am still in America, right?

 

[Amish Heart]

Found the "gifts" little granddaughter's mom brought with her to granddaughter yesterday. They snuck them upstairs. The first was an old Barbie pickup truck that she painted army green, then wrote stuff all over it, like **ck Barbie. The next was an old cabbage patch doll that she painted the face to look like a Chucky Doll, and wrote stuff on it's stuffed body front and back. FML (**ck my life) in black bold lettering across the chest. The woman is 48 yrs old and is a nutcase. They hid these things bringing them upstairs so I wouldn't see them. No more nice.

 

[Neb]

Found the "gifts" little granddaughter's mom brought with her to granddaughter yesterday. They snuck them upstairs. The first was an old Barbie pickup truck that she painted army green, then wrote stuff all over it, like **ck Barbie. The next was an old cabbage patch doll that she painted the face to look like a Chucky Doll, and wrote stuff on it's stuffed body front and back. FML (**ck my life) in black bold lettering across the chest. The woman is 48 yrs old and is a nutcase. They hid these things bringing them upstairs so I wouldn't see them. No more nice.

The hair on my neck stands up reading that update. If you weren't such a strong character I would feel for you but you don't need that.

So which way are you leaning?

Shut down visitation?

Supervise visits?

The little one is of course the priority.

What are your thoughts?

Ben

 

[Amish Heart]

We've shut down visitation before. She'll call during the week to talk to her, and I'll talk to her first. She thinks people are so polite that they won't cross her, and she counts on that. But she knows I don't care a bit about her and her issues. I've known her since granddaughter was born (10 years) and have the upperhand. Husband is letting me handle it.

 

[Magus]

Found the "gifts" little granddaughter's mom brought with her to granddaughter yesterday. They snuck them upstairs. The first was an old Barbie pickup truck that she painted army green, then wrote stuff all over it, like **ck Barbie. The next was an old cabbage patch doll that she painted the face to look like a Chucky Doll, and wrote stuff on it's stuffed body front and back. FML (**ck my life) in black bold lettering across the chest. The woman is 48 yrs old and is a nutcase. They hid these things bringing them upstairs so I wouldn't see them. No more nice.

So Um...is she dating anybody and how ugly is she?

 

[Pearl]

So Um...is she dating anybody and how ugly is she?

OMG Magus!!

 

[Magus]

OMG Magus!!

She sounds like she's a metal head! I like crazy. gimmie a pic, if I don't like her I'll photochop her into something hideous and she can spam her e mail with it!

 

[Amish Heart]

She doesn't have email. She has a tattoo blue stripe across her face. She's has 4 kids, little granddaughter is the youngest and the only one related to me, and she's had them all taken away for abuse and neglect. She's a drunk, supposedly dry, and not a metalhead. She listens to ethnic music. Lives homeless and gets food stamps and mental disability money. Never has worked. Likes to be odd for the sake of being odd. She pretends to love her daughter, but only thinks she does. She likes to be the "daughter" and have her ten yr old daughter be the parent. Don't have a photo, sorry, I don't do pictures. And yep, she has a boyfriend. Always likes them 10 or so years younger. He has hardly any teeth, named Boxcar, mohawk dreadlocks, and dresses Steampunk. They are both always dirty, really needing a bath. That's them in a nutshell, neither are very intelligent. They like to find people that put up with them, park themselves there, and become squatters.

 

[Cascadian]

Those kind of people are like cockroaches. Seemingly impervious to everything and will probably inherit the earth.

 

[Amish Heart]

You'd really think so at first glance. But I beg to differ. The boyfriend, Boxcar thinks he is self reliant and can just walk off into the woods and survive. But nope. They came from Marin area in California. Sun shines there and street people are catered to. If they are living in an apartment, it is govt given. So when they moved here, they lived in the shelter in the bigger city, till they got kicked out for being violent with each other. Their health is horrible, always sick, they look sickly. They get the free meals, panhandle, dumpster dive, all things relying on an existing society that is doing well. Without the free stuff, they'd die. They really don't know how to take care of themselves well at all and it shows just looking at them.

 

[zannej]

That really is a shame Amish_Heart. Not surprised to hear its disability for mental illness with that description. Sounds a bit like my friend's ex's family-- although, they love their kids and spoil them. They blame society for their kids not having discipline but they let the kids do whatever they want. The kids are moody & have tantrums but are generally nice kids at least. They've always been nice to me. They aren't bad people but they are on the loony side. The father (who is my friend's ex's brother) has multiple disorders- schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, etc. He used to be a tattoo artist but couldn't keep a regular job due to his mental issues. He still does tattoos freelance though. He gave his sister a couple of free tattoos. The first one on her arm came out good. The one on her wrist did not bc she wouldn't hold still.

I digressed.

My gripe: Fedex couldn't be deigned to deliver our package yesterday. It was about 2hrs from where we live and they didn't bother to send anyone out with it and still have it at their facility. My brother called when they failed to deliver and they made excuses and pretty much told us we should have to drive down there and pick it up ourselves. Said they *might* deliver it today. Now, I get that they may have been short on drivers, but they should have notified us about that yesterday and told us that we could come get it before they closed up shop for the day. But no, they didn't bother.

 

[havasu]

Today, I have no gripes. Yeah, I wake up sore, my bones ache a bit, but hey, any day above the soil is a great day!

 

[Amish Heart]

There are many reasons why her children were all taken away. Rescued, really. I think it's hysterical she thinks I should put up with her garbage in my house, with my grandaughter. Children should never have to put up with garbage. Adults can walk away.

 

[Smalltimefarmer]

Today, I have no gripes. Yeah, I wake up sore, my bones ache a bit, but hey, any day above the soil is a great day!

In the movie Harvey, the Jimmy Stewart character, Elwood P. Dowd says "everyday is a beautiful day". I try to live by that.

 

[Magus]

She doesn't have email. She has a tattoo blue stripe across her face. She's has 4 kids, little granddaughter is the youngest and the only one related to me, and she's had them all taken away for abuse and neglect. She's a drunk, supposedly dry, and not a metalhead. She listens to ethnic music. Lives homeless and gets food stamps and mental disability money. Never has worked. Likes to be odd for the sake of being odd. She pretends to love her daughter, but only thinks she does. She likes to be the "daughter" and have her ten yr old daughter be the parent. Don't have a photo, sorry, I don't do pictures. And yep, she has a boyfriend. Always likes them 10 or so years younger. He has hardly any teeth, named Boxcar, mohawk dreadlocks, and dresses Steampunk. They are both always dirty, really needing a bath. That's them in a nutshell, neither are very intelligent. They like to find people that put up with them, park themselves there, and become squatters.

So buy them a gallon of cheap vodka or two or whatever they like to kill brain cells with, and drop them off in the outer suburbs in the dead of winter, you'll likely only hear of them one more time...
on the evening news when they're recovered from a culvert.
Yes, I know that's mean, but its been done. either that or get them wasted and put them on a bus going anywhere far away. I resorted to this, it works! when they wake up in Bismuth Alabama at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere with no money and no idea where they hell they are! they generally tend to realize they've been told to "F**K OFF!" Another good place to send them is Copper hill Tennessee. or Huntsville Tennessee, either place, the locals will take care of it. ever see the movie "Deliverance"? No? maybe wrong turn? in either case they'll be chained up in a smoke house before dinner time.

 

[Weedygarden]

There are many reasons why her children were all taken away. Rescued, really. I think it's hysterical she thinks I should put up with her garbage in my house, with my grandaughter. Children should never have to put up with garbage. Adults can walk away.

People like this have messed up thinking. They see that other people have stuff and think they should be given hand outs because of it. There are mental health issues and there are addiction issues which mess up people's thinking as well. They don't think about, or maybe want to think about how people get where they are. It is because of hard work, focusing, making plans and goals, and moving toward that most people get where they are with property ownership and other successes in life. Addictions of many sorts have really messed some people up. I know a couple people who are gamblers, heavily addicted to it, and have nothing to show for their lives because of all the money they've spent on it. Then there are drugs and alcohol, and that not only messes up your thinking, but also your body. Bad teeth is a symptom of meth use. Getting her daughter to hide her crappy toy gifts is really sick, imho.

 

[Amish Heart]

It doesn't work to try to get her to keep secrets. Granddaughter knows better, thank goodness. The doll really scared her. Bless her heart, she said maybe she could paint over the Barbie truck. I told her it goes in the trash so it's not a reminder of what was on it. She has a couple of Barbie cars and a van anyway, normal stuff, gifts from us.

 

[Magus]

Send her a gift. a dead fish tied to a cinder block. unless she's stupid, she'll get the idea.

 

[Amish Heart]

Not my way, although sometimes I'm tempted. I'm more of a "nope, not happening, not putting up with it" and walking on. I don't feel the need to do anything to her. You have to remember, little granddaughter still loves her mom, even though she's a trainwreck.
Still waiting for her to call, maybe tonight, to talk to her. I plan on talking to her, though.

 

[Magus]

You know, there was a time in life, one might handle such things for a bit of cash and specifying what would happen after the sack went over their head.
I miss my youth sometimes, but not often.

I joke, I joke!

 

[Amish Heart]

Sounds like you're a better friend than enemy, Magus

 

[zannej]

Still no package from Fedex and the sun is setting. They pretty much blew us off again. Claimed they were "too busy" to deliver our package and won't even guarantee it will be delivered at all. It's really pissing us off. My brother just about passed out after his bp spiked from flying into a rage trying to get through to customer service and all the excuses and they don't care that it will cost us over $100 if we don't get the package asap. My brother has been hitting up spacex, starlink, and Elon Musk on Twitter to ask them to stop using Fedex bc they suck. A LOT of other Starlink customers have been complaining about how much Fedex sucks.

Oh, my brother just said Fedex claims they made a delivery attempt but I've been sitting here where I could hear them if they drove up and nobody showed up. So they returned our package to Lake Charles again. And we can't pick it up from them since we can't create an account bc they won't accept our address.... Ugh. They always just leave packages in the yard or on the porch if they actually try to deliver whether it has to be signed for or not. They are supposed to leave a note on the door if they tried and nobody answered the door. No note. Lying sacks of ****.