Strange sayings we use

[LadyLocust]

... Phrases that I use often, (meaning having no effect).

One I use, "the IQ of a fence post"

 

[Weedygarden]

One I use, "the IQ of a fence post"

Dumb as a box of rocks

 

[Tim Horton]

Foghorn Leghorn of Buggs Bunny cartoon fame always used the term..
That boy is as dumb as a box of rocks..

That dog don't hunt... Meaning that won't work and the like..

 

[Magus]

A couple beers short of a 6 pack.

Like trying to limp d**k a wildcat up its (butt).

If my cat had a face like yours I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

High on the hog.

Chicken people. (Usually a walmartian with a huge rear end and tiny upper body.)

 

[winds-of-change]

My step son always says “go ahead and…”. I worked with a lady who always said “ what you want to take and do…..”. Both phrases drive me nuts.

 

[winds-of-change]

My Mom sometimes said “heads will roll”. What does THAT mean?

 

[winds-of-change]

“Bless her heart” in the South is saying someone is stupid.

I love this saying and what it really means.

I'll be a money's uncle
Not my monkeys, not my circus
Fixin to...
Snowballs chance in He-l-l
Running around like a chicken with it's head cut off

I know there's more just can't think of them at the moment

I think chickens DO run after their heads are cut off.

 

[Mountain trapper]

No skin in the game.
Like a 3 legged cat trying to bury a turd.
Don't forget to shake the dew off the lilly.
Work (or beat) him like a rented mule.

 

[freelove]

I gotta pee so bad I can taste it
This was my Mom's

 

[dademoss]

"Hold my beer"

"It's on like Donkey Kong."

Most of my others are not suitable for a family forum

 

[Caribou]

My Mom sometimes said “heads will roll”. What does THAT mean?

It means that somebody is in trouble. I believe that the term comes from the French Revolution, where the guillotine was in regular use.

 

[LadyLocust]

I gotta pee so bad I can taste it
This was my Mom's

I've heard "pee like a race horse."

 

[dademoss]

I've heard "pee like a race horse."

I have done the above quote

 

[winds-of-change]

It means that somebody is in trouble. I believe that the term comes from the French Revolution, where the guillotine was in regular use.

Yes, it usually was in reference to someone being in trouble or potential trouble.

 

[Pearl]

I've heard "pee like a race horse."

To get racehorses to pee before race time, the grooms whistle, most of the horses in the barn will pee! They are conditioned from a young age to pee on command. ALL of my dogs are taught to pee (or try) on command! Very handy!!

 

[Weedygarden]

Some South Dakota farmer and a buddy of his were throwing out a bunch of sayings.

She blows smoke rings like a fat, cigar smoking banker getting ready to foreclose on a North Dakota wannabe farmer.

 

[theheathen13]

Dummer than dog ****!

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

Dumber than $☆☆☆ smacked with a hammer.

 

[dademoss]

Dumber than $☆☆☆ smacked with a hammer.

That's gonna leave a mark.

 

[Caribou]

Stupid is supposed to hurt.

 

[Lenny]

No skin in the game.
Like a 3 legged cat trying to bury a turd.
Don't forget to shake the dew off the lilly.
Work (or beat) him like a rented mule.

And beat him like a red-headed stepchild.

 

[ABR]

Not the sharpest....tool in the shed, knife in the block, tack in the drawer, etc
Flowerpot short of being a vegetable
Bull in a china shop
As useful as a chalk in a thunderstorm
Few sockets shy of a full set
Like a 10mm socket

 

[Lenny]

That boy is so stupid he probably thinks a pig pen is something to write with.

 

[Curmudgeon]

"Fair to Middling"

 

[Morgan101]

Fish or cut the bait. (make a decision)

He needs one of those like a turtle needs a brassiere.

Doing that is like trying to play pool with a rope (useless endeavors)

If he lost 20 pounds it would be like throwing a deck chair off the Titanic. (another useless endeavor)

Shoveling sand against the tide (a third useless endeavor)

 

[FarmOR]

"Banging like a screen door on a trailer house in a tornado wind!"

"shaking like a pit bull passing a peach pit!"

"squealing like a banshee!"

"watertight as a frog's gluteus maximus!"

 

[Caribou]

As useful as a screen door on a submarine!

 

[Morgan101]

Not the sharpest....tool in the shed, knife in the block, tack in the drawer, etc
Flowerpot short of being a vegetable
Bull in a china shop
As useful as a chalk in a thunderstorm
Few sockets shy of a full set
Like a 10mm socket

I actually have to use a 10mm socket to change my license plates.

He was so ugly he would make a freight train take a dirt road.

It was raining so hard it looked like a cow pissing on a flat rock.

He was slower than smoke off a cold $h1t.

 

[Lenny]

A buddy from Missouri used to say, "Beats anything I've ever stepped in or slept with!"

 

[winds-of-change]

And beat him like a red-headed stepchild.

I worked with a woman who WAS a red headed step child. But she had a good childhood.