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The only dating advice my dad ever gave me was; never let her know where you live. Sounds appropriate here, but too late.
The Ladies
- Thread starter d_marsh
- Start date
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today has been a week....the lady has probably repainted entire house by now to her favorite colors...shot up half of his practice ammo...new drapes in bedroom and chewed her fingernails to the quick.....he thought job was dangerous he was doing...he probably need that kevlar vest when he returns home...she will sound like ricky recardo on the old i love lucy shows upon his return !
Is She at the RNC today...?!?He's okay on the hot side? HE is smoking hot and is adored by women throughout this and a few other nations. I would say more but I am also very modest.
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Anything happen when I was gone? No? Nothing? Something about a short fat Federal agent?
We got the news pretty quickly thanks to the world wide webz. The team and I just sat around watching the news with “are you ******* kidding me” looks on our faces. Needless to say balls were dropped and heads inserted into backsides. If I had a shiny piece of inscribed metal bound to black leather I would have been pretty damn emberassed. I have worked with former secret squirrels and they were some squared away sharp mother f’ers. But those were A-team people and this was clearly their D-squad. I presume this group failed out of training and were pulled from their normal duty of guarding Hunter’s tray of chicken nuggets in the White House cafeteria.
The news about Trump was not the only thing blowing up my phone when I turned it on. I had multiple voicemails and text messages from a certain squatter with benefits who apparently really missed my presence. She knew I wouldn’t get the messages until the op was over but she provided me a play by play of her week as it progressed. If nothing else it provided some entertainment on the trip home. Once we were face to face she was on me like a Kamala Harris on a male supervisor with the power to promote. For a minute there I thought she would be dragging me into a public restroom. Instead she brought me back to the compound where she had cleaned the place up, had some food cooking and some beverages on ice. I will admit that that’s a whole lot more inviting than what I used to come back to. While having some chow I told her that when I was away, and had a moment or two of down time, I allowed my thoughts to wonder what she was up to or how she was doing. She just smiled and ate her food. Then she asked if I missed her and I said “Yeah, I guess I have grown attached to you”. I might as well have shouted “I love you” by how excited she got. Unfortunately for her ‘attached’ is about as deeply emotional as I get.
We got the news pretty quickly thanks to the world wide webz. The team and I just sat around watching the news with “are you ******* kidding me” looks on our faces. Needless to say balls were dropped and heads inserted into backsides. If I had a shiny piece of inscribed metal bound to black leather I would have been pretty damn emberassed. I have worked with former secret squirrels and they were some squared away sharp mother f’ers. But those were A-team people and this was clearly their D-squad. I presume this group failed out of training and were pulled from their normal duty of guarding Hunter’s tray of chicken nuggets in the White House cafeteria.
The news about Trump was not the only thing blowing up my phone when I turned it on. I had multiple voicemails and text messages from a certain squatter with benefits who apparently really missed my presence. She knew I wouldn’t get the messages until the op was over but she provided me a play by play of her week as it progressed. If nothing else it provided some entertainment on the trip home. Once we were face to face she was on me like a Kamala Harris on a male supervisor with the power to promote. For a minute there I thought she would be dragging me into a public restroom. Instead she brought me back to the compound where she had cleaned the place up, had some food cooking and some beverages on ice. I will admit that that’s a whole lot more inviting than what I used to come back to. While having some chow I told her that when I was away, and had a moment or two of down time, I allowed my thoughts to wonder what she was up to or how she was doing. She just smiled and ate her food. Then she asked if I missed her and I said “Yeah, I guess I have grown attached to you”. I might as well have shouted “I love you” by how excited she got. Unfortunately for her ‘attached’ is about as deeply emotional as I get.
Glad You 
Back and are Safe...?!?
Back and are Safe...?!?
Welcome home!
Welcone back D
Remember that fidelity pledge, that came back to bite me on the ass already. Sitting on my first flight and the blond flight attendant clearly seems to be giving me special attention while seemingly ignoring other people around me. This went on for awhile before the blond hands me a card with their phone number and the words "I see you have a 5 hour layover" on it. First, I just made a fidelity pledge. Second, I am not gay. But it was really flattering to find out that male flight attendants also find me attractive.
They come in all sizes, Bi.. Tri...n Fly...!!! 
It's funny, this thread reminds me of a similar one over on AKFiles.
Federal contracted operator and his foreign girlfriend/more than girlfriend.
But his home base is in Thailand.
Federal contracted operator and his foreign girlfriend/more than girlfriend.
But his home base is in Thailand.
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Someone can make money off this story!! 
Can you be sure it's a "GIRLfriend" over in Thailand? If he is into AK's I wouldn't be so sure.
I do not have a girlfriend, or more than a girlfriend, or a wife. I have a uninvited residential cohabitant and carnal arts practitioner. I also do not work for the US government, directly anyway. So.... completely different. Now if this guy is exceedingly handsome then we have something in common.
Plus at the rate things are going here I will be all lone soon enough.
Can you be sure it's a "GIRLfriend" over in Thailand? If he is into AK's I wouldn't be so sure.
I do not have a girlfriend, or more than a girlfriend, or a wife. I have a uninvited residential cohabitant and carnal arts practitioner. I also do not work for the US government, directly anyway. So.... completely different. Now if this guy is exceedingly handsome then we have something in common.
Plus at the rate things are going here I will be all lone soon enough.
The 10 minutes of joy when I got back turned to her talking about how stressful last week was and how she wants me to stop taking job assignments. I told her I have no plans to quit working and that I needed to work if I want to reach my financial goals. Flash forward 45 minutes later and she was pretty pissed off. She made several comments about moving back home. I don't know if she thought I would fall to my knees and beg her to stay but that's not what happened.
Dont be her little puppy and dont let her run your life
I personally never let anyone run my life and tell me what to do
As opposed to the manly man you are with your GAYR-15s?Can you be sure it's a "GIRLfriend" over in Thailand? If he is into AK's I wouldn't be so sure.
I do not have a girlfriend, or more than a girlfriend, or a wife. I have a uninvited residential cohabitant and carnal arts practitioner. I also do not work for the US government, directly anyway. So.... completely different. Now if this guy is exceedingly handsome then we have something in common.
Plus at the rate things are going here I will be all lone soon enough.
If you can't tell a woman from a guy in a dress then it's a good thing you aren't in Thailand. Though didn't you say yours is Brazilian? A country that provides the world with lots of {post-op) trannies.
He doesn't work for the Feds "directly" either. He is contracted with the State Dept through a 3rd party to provide security. In addition to his M4 his armored Landcruiser is stocked with grenades and a 240,
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didn't she know what sort of job you have all along? You weren't even gone that long. Imagine my daughter, she is working f/t in the Navy with a 1 year old and her husband will be gone for 9 months on a ship with not even texting or calling for weeks at a time
your housemate doesn't have much to complain about really
I see I touched on a nerve there. Some dark tantalizing thoughts you have when stroking that foreign rifle. Best keep it between you and your piston.
Yeah she knew, but when I went away she always went home or took a vacation, this time she stuck around and worried. This whole emotional roller coaster is just one more reason that being single is the way to go. I don't know that she is leaving, but she was pretty worked up. And still is. Not sure why she was expecting me to suddenly be all sunshine and lollipops. She should have figured out by now that's not in my nature. There was never going to a picket fence.
You kids fight NICE
You didn't Hold the Door Open for her...?!?
I think that's part of what is making her so mad. I don't argue and I don't fight. She gets all worked up and I just sit there sipping on some sweet tea thinking about my next gun purchase. If she goes she goes, if she stays she stays, I just want her to do her thinking and analyzing about it inside her head.
Well the first thing a male needs to learn is to never try to figure out females, so if you are able to stay out of that head space you are way ahead.
I tell you she would be out my house forever in --- 3-2-1 OUT FOREVER
Then only ones I endure in my house is My dog and MY cats
Ah Marsh is just fighting so they can make up later
That coulda been a grand opportunity to tell her having her own place again is a great idea, .
When she finally figures out all her sex n cooking whatever else she is giving freely still won't change your mind..she will blow a gasket.
Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free ...she hasent figured that out yet..
When she finally figures out all her sex n cooking whatever else she is giving freely still won't change your mind..she will blow a gasket.
Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free ...she hasent figured that out yet..
I think he meant marsh and Steve!?
