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Maybe more like a s'mores....hard on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside! I haven't seen a good enough picture of you, but s'mores are hot!😃😉
Well sir, I do believe you have grown into your full name.

D Marshmallow!:huggs:

I have heard every marshmallow, smores and related joke, pun, nickname and jest that exists 1,839,283,495 times over. The chicken that crossed the road is less fatigued. In fact I may propose and marry this lady just so I can take her last name and rid myself of such whit and whimsy. 🥸
 
So I finished all the moving I needed to before receiving a text from the daughter just asking what I was up to, again sounding half bored and half anxious about being alone. I decided I am going to take the opportunity to get cleaned up, grab some gear and in about 2 hours or so I am going to take her out shooting. Then I will probably take her out to dinner.

Talked to the lady a bit ago but not long enough to hear the story, just know it involves a group of dental people who drank too much and had nothing but sex on the brain.
 
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I have heard every marshmallow, smores and related joke, pun, nickname and jest that exists 1,839,283,495 times over. The chicken that crossed the road is less fatigued. In fact I may propose and marry this lady just so I can take her last name and rid myself of such whit and whimsy. 🥸
Propose!! There, you said it! 😉😃
 
I have heard every marshmallow, smores and related joke, pun, nickname and jest that exists 1,839,283,495 times over. The chicken that crossed the road is less fatigued. In fact I may propose and marry this lady just so I can take her last name and rid myself of such whit and whimsy. 🥸
I can relate. My last name is coffey
 
Chapter 921: Part 1

I packed up some guns and ammo, safety gear and a few just in case items before heading out. There are several range options but I have found that taking a first timer to an in-door range with ballistic protection, remote targets holders, climate control and a clubhouse was the best way to get them started. I picked her up at the apartment and drove to her the closest range to that residence. On the way we thoroughly discussed the 4 rules of firearms safety to include a deeper explanation of each one and why ignoring it could be disastrous. Once we were checked in and, on the line, I went over the basics of grip, stance, sight alignment, recoil management and other fundamentals. When she was ready, I pulled out a blued Ruger MKII .22 pistol and we loaded up some magazines. It always amazes me how well women can shoot right out the gate, might have something to do with reduced egos and more care and concern about how they go about doing things. Within a few magazines she had the basics down and was putting holes in reasonably sizes groups. After going through 50+ rounds of ammo we upgraded to the Smith & Wesson Shield Plus. It took her a full magazine before she adapted to the increased muzzle flip and recoil, but when she did she liked the enhanced power. Over the next hour or so she also shot a 4” .38 special and a compact .380acp. In the end she liked the .22 the best, but understood for protection she needed something a little stouter.

We gathered up the guns, ammo and gear, swept up our brass, washed our hands, and went to grab some chow. I told her we could go wherever she wanted, within reason, and she selected a semi-fast food burger place that offered quick cuisine that was a little better than your normal franchise fair. Once there she got some cheeseburger sliders with a side of onion rings and strawberry lemonade, I went for the deluxe bacon cheeseburger and cheese curds with a Dr. Pepper. As we chowed down our grub she confessed to having a lot of fun and wanting to go shooting again. The event seemed to change her mind a bit about the right to keep and bear arms too. Something I intended to keep fostering in her young mind. I told her when she turned 21 it was quite possible that I would be buying her very first gun, something brand new that fit her hand. Rest assured, having to wait until that age also taught her a lesson in unconstitutional gun laws.

After some more food and 2nd Amendment talk, she told me that she really liked having me around and that she really hoped her mother and I would stay together for the long haul. I told her I had the same hopes and felt like her mom did too. The topic turned to her date on Friday with friend zone and how it wasn’t all that different from the dozens of other times they went out and did things, that was until he dropped her off at the apartment. She said he walked her to the door and stood there anxiously before leaning in and kissing her. “I was a little surprised I guess, but I didn’t hate it… Okay, it was actually really nice.” I responded that she just needed to make sure not to go too far too fast and that “he needed to prove he was worth whatever she offered up to him”. Just then the skies opened, flames and lightning began to shower me, and the Old Lords of Paradox jumped down slamming the are-you-kidding-me war hammer into my skull. Even when those cautionary words came out of my mouth the irony was not lost on me and tried to make me choke. Still, somehow, I made it clear that “men become hyper focused on that one thing” and that “they will do or say just about anything to get it”. I explained that if he knows it will take time and effort to win her favor, and he is willing to wait around and earn it, then eventually she will find herself in a real relationship worthy of exploring the next step or steps. She smiled at me, much like her mother does and said, “Well, I am definitely not gonna get pregnant in college like mom did, she has been harping on me about abstinence and safe sex since I was 12”. I replied with “Good, because if she tells me I have to make your boyfriend disappear you know I am obligated to do it” which got her to laugh out loud.

The daughter then informed me that now that she knows how to shoot, I had other things to teach her. The list was lengthy but included how to get out of a choke hold, how to properly use her new taser, how to change the tire on her Audi wagon and how to get her mom to accept that she is not in high school anymore. I replied that the last one might be out of my knowledge base, but I could definitely help her with the rest. She also updated me on the stalker-situation informing me that she has only seen the boy once since our talk and he quickly changed directions when he saw her coming. She was glad he got the message, but didn’t understand why he didn’t just accept her original explanation as to why she said no. We talked a bit more about human behavior and personal security before cleaning up our table.

She invited me to the apartment to watch a movie with her on Netflix or Prime, I agreed, and we are currently watching a pretty good action flick featuring Mark Walberg. Before we started the movie she made us some microwave popcorn, a rare treat in the apartment as her mother despises the smell, and poured us each a glass of Coca-Cola. We aren't talking much as I sit here on my laptop and she stares at her phone, but all of this is helping the time pass by and I think its making her feel a lot better than she would have being in the apartment alone.

You will probably have to wait for tomorrow for Part 2, because it hasn't happened yet.
 
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Part 2:

After the movie I gave her some tips on home security, had her to download the app for the wifi cameras, and re-demonstrated the proper use of a Taser Bolt 2. I reminded her that she could call or text me any time for any reason, she replied “Good, because I am running low on tampons” before busting out her signature laugh. I started to make my way to the door for my planned departure however she stopped me, and I received the longest hug I had ever received from a female that was not a potential mate. Then she said, “You know, you could just stay here tonight, it’s not like it would be the first time”.

Fortunately, before I had to respond to her comment, the lady called me. I showed the daughter my screen, clicked the receive button, and then sat down in the big chair as she told me all about the conference and a few tales about the sex-crazed and drunken stupidity of her dental peers. I told her about our afternoon and evening activities, which got me a “wow” and her telling me it made her heart so happy that I was a filling a role in her daughter’s life that had been vacant for nearly 3 years. This kind of stuff was clearly part of her love language. When I told her the daughter invited me to stay the night the lady said, “She’s probably still a little nervous, did you agree to stay?” I advised it seemed a little weird, but I was not one to leave a lady alone who was feeling anxious or afraid. I told her my plan was to actually call her and see what she thought before answering. Her response was “Mi casa es su casa” and “plus then you would be there when I come home tomorrow” a day earlier than she originally anticipated.

Once off the phone I knocked on the daughter’s bedroom door and advised I was staying. She downplayed her excitement, but I could tell she was relieved. She said “Goodnight, sleep well and don’t shoot me if I go to get something in the kitchen at 12am” before I replied, “You move around at night and you take your chances” plus of course “Goodnight” before I shut her door. I turned off the lights, made sure the door was locked and prepared to go to sleep. Laying in the lady’s bed alone was very different, but somehow sleep found me just the same and before I knew it morning had arrived.

I got up, took a shower and got dressed. I explored the kitchen for breakfast options, unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the popcorn/soda mess from the evening before. I decided for breakfast I would make some English muffin, sausage, egg and cheese breakfast sandwiches and a breakfast smoothie using a prepackaged Dole mix I found in the freezer. Of course that won't happen until later this morning as the daughter won't open her eyes until at least 10am.
 
Now, here's the story the lady told about the conference:

After a second day of product demos, sales pitches, dental procedure updates, and small group discussions about industry related best practices the attendees enjoyed a large fancy meal put on by the hosts of this conference. It was buffet style but high budget and people were free to sit where they wanted. Wine was served and a cash bar was available. The lady sat with a group of people, some she knew and some she didn't. She had found a friend from past conferences and the two of them stayed together throughout the conference and the dinner. Some of the people at the table were hosting a social event in their hotel suite that evening and invited the two ladies to attend, providing a room number and urging them to come. She said the people at the table seemed fun and so her and her conference buddy decided to go.

When they arrived at the multi-room hotel suite, which must have been huge, they found perhaps 20-24 people all drinking, talking and laughing. More people were arriving every few minutes but few people were leaving. There were essentially a full bar in the kitchen, music playing and lots of merriment. They each got a cocktail and stood around taking in the scenery. Another woman walked over and introduced herself, advising that she was the wife of the party host and this was their room. She called her husband over and introduced him as well. Seems he is an Orthodontist turned business entrepreneur who owns several dental related practices in a few different cities. When the lady introduced herself he said he recognized the name and asked if she was related to the douche bag, she resisted rolling her eyes and said "Yes, he's my ex-husband". The man belly laughed and said he had a story she would absolutely love then. He said the d-bags practice was not doing well and he had tried to get this man to invest and essentially prop him up. The man offered to buy him out but his offer was declined as "they" felt it was way to low. The man just laughed again and said "I will just wait until they lock the doors and board the windows and then it will be mine anyway!" and belly laughed again. He asked about the lady's practice and complimented her on how well she was doing before saying "You know what, I won't swoop in on him after all. I will let you do it!" They talked longer and exchanged business cards before he was off to entertain others. That was the good part of the night.

This was the less enjoyable part of the night. About an hour and a half later, after meeting other new and interesting people and having more drinks, and after her friend left for the night, a random man walked up to her and told her she was incredibly beautiful. She said thank you and tried to disengage from him. He then said "You want some anal sex?". She scowled at him and said "Excuse me" before he fake laughed and held up a mixed drink that is allegedly called "anal sex". She replied "No thank you" and tried to walk away. He followed her and kept talking about how good anal sex was and she should really try anal sex. She finally just put her hand in his face and said "Just stop, I don't find this funny at all". He scoffed, sort of apologized and walked away. A few minutes later a woman she didn't know introduced herself and after some small talk immediately started talking about sex too. The lady was thinking "what the **** going on?" as this woman went on and on about sex related topics, her likes and things she wanted to experiment with. The lady was trying to escape when the woman asked if she had ever had a threesome, pointing out her male companion across the room and saying they were open to it if she was. She declined and said she had to get going. She moved toward the door with purpose noticing a long the way how everyone seemed to be forming small groups and how the host/hostess weren't even in sight anymore.

On her way back to her room she saw her friend in the hallway and told her the story. The woman, who is also a dental hygienist said, "Yeah, that's why I ducked out early. These conferences always seem to turn into hook up parties... for some people anyway." Info that would have been nice an hour or so earlier. This also made the lady think back to how the douche bag would always attend these conferences alone when they were married, and the new info she learned about how familiar he was with the man who was hosting the party she just left. A party that could well have been a hook-up event. She went back to her room, used the secure lock I provided her that disabled the swipe system and took a shower. She said she felt gross and needed to be clean. Once in her robe and sitting on the sofa of her hotel suite, she decided to call me and unburden herself of all the above. She also told me she was definitely not staying the extra night.
 
Been there, Done that also...!!! ^^^ Not the aool sex or that drink either...!!! :facepalm:

She IS A "Keeper" marsh...!! :thumbs::good luck:
 
I have heard every marshmallow, smores and related joke, pun, nickname and jest that exists 1,839,283,495 times over. The chicken that crossed the road is less fatigued. In fact I may propose and marry this lady just so I can take her last name and rid myself of such whit and whimsy. 🥸
You is just Getting "Wet behind the ears"...!!! 🤣
 
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