just got home from work. A good dusting of snow on the road made the usual 45 min trip over a hour.
I should go to bed as its almost sunrise. I am tired physically and emotionally and looking forward so much to this weekends serenity on the homestead that sleeping sounds like a waste of time at the moment.
I had to put my old cat Crazy down before work yesterday..
His health has been failing him and as hard as a decision it always is..I had to make a call on it.
In the past, I have held on too long to pets because I have a hard time letting go and my heart yearns to avoid the sorrow that follows..
I have often hoped I just arrive home and find the ailing one snuggled up in their bed cozy in a position of repose and they.."just fell into eternal sleep" lol..this had never happened for me yet..
It would be so much eaiser to accept and deal with if I don't have to be involved in D day, but with all the pets I have had..I have found myself in the position to assist them to becoming one with the fold of the Universe again.
It is never a easy decision, but in my heart it has always been the right one for them...
I didn't choose Crazy and he didn't choose me initially. .
I inherited him from my mom, whom my mom had choose to adopt as a ferel AF kitty
I was the "bad girl" who had to catch him and doctor him or take him to the vet when needed in his younger years because my mom physically couldn't handle his wild ways..
As long as she didn't try to chop his balls off ( I took him in for that) , give him shots or whatnot..he was ok with her..
when I tried to be cool with him..I usually ended up leaking as maulings would happen..
But over time, with copious amounts of patience and trust on both our wills..respect for non -mauling interactions happened..
And Im not even a cat person..I like dogs. Ive had cats of my own but Im a dog gal..Crazy just had to happen I guess..
The Universe works like that sometimes...
Over time and once my mom couldn't take care of him anymore, Crazy accepted I was his human for better or worse.
I was committed to his well being out of respect to my mom who never gets attached to critters but something in her found compassion for this wild cat and couldn't let it be..
I figured I owed her one for dumping my childhood cat on her as I flew the nest years ago and although I left her a nice tame kitty on a non loving animal lover..She left me a wild crazy mini lion as payback..
seems fair I guess..lol..
I know he was just a cat ...but he became my cat for well over a decade. We had to find a common ground using a language older than words to achieve this mutual respect and it at times was a comical journey.
Im grateful for the opportunity to learn what I did from this wild mini beast and perhaps that is the gift I can take from this experience..
Im not writing this spawn condolences..I guess I just needed to purge some reflection and ...your it..
As far a work goes..I wrote my machine up today on lots of issues. As I turned it into the lead guy as I left this am, I explained it all and stated If im am going to put in all this forced ot..I want my machine to work right. The issues I wrote up have been ignored too long and my knees and sanity are suffering for it..
I have better wear to suffer onto my body mainly in the form of running my miles about this beautiful area with my dog pal than to wear out my body on a ill kept machine …
cheers everyone