Jokes and Humor

[Sentry18]

 

[Meerkat]

View attachment 36775
Mean , but funny

Jim

ea after about the 10th exray I said enough is enough, she said" its safe so I ask her to atay with me while it xapped. She smiled and ran behind her metal protected door. Not funny!I still can't beleive I was that dman stupid yo allow all those " tes "

 

[Caribou]

View attachment 36775

Now I know what to do with Dad's ashes.
Mean , but funny

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Kermit is so cool...

Jim

 

[Supervisor42]

ea after about the 10th exray I said enough is enough, she said" its safe so I ask her to atay with me while it xapped. She smiled and ran behind her metal protected door. Not funny!I still can't beleive I was that dman stupid yo allow all those " tes "

I apologize for not having a joke, but for Meercat I will say that I know what's hot and what's not. Don't say yes to a nuclear stress test.
I had my radiation detectors blasted by my chiropractor's X-Ray machine to test them.
Don't blink. The strongest they have is maybe 1.5 seconds.
The NST, they shoot highly radioactive material INTO your body that makes YOU far hotter for hours than any X-Ray beam you will ever face. I've posted the video of me running the detector over myself afterwards elsewhere here.
Sorry, I'll shuttup.

 

[Meerkat]

I apologize for not having a joke, but for Meercat I will say that I know what's hot and what's not. Don't say yes to a nuclear stress test.
I had my radiation detectors blasted by my chiropractor's X-Ray machine to test them.
Don't blink. The strongest they have is maybe 1.5 seconds.
The NST, they shoot highly radioactive material INTO your body that makes YOU far hotter for hours than any X-Ray beam you will ever face. I've posted the video of me running the detector over myself afterwards elsewhere here.
Sorry, I'll shuttup. View attachment 36873

I know I was offered one of those did manage to escape that bullet. Told the fool no way is that plutonium crusing around in my viens.

 

[dademoss]

I know I was offered one of those did manage to escape that bullet. Told the fool no way is that plutonium crusing around in my viens.

And that is why you don't have any of those super-powers like web spinning or flying
dancing chicken

 

[phideaux]

They work

Jim

 

[Caribou]

View attachment 36882
They work

Jim

We have something like that here. I think there are three leaves on each stem.

 

[Haertig]

 

[Haertig]

 

[phideaux]

Smart munkey..

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Me too...

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Meerkat]

We have something like that here. I think there are three leaves on each stem.

 

[Meerkat]

View attachment 36918
Me too...

Jim

LOL, I gto a good LOL out of this one.

 

[Support Gunner]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Haertig]

Who remembers this one? One of my favorites!

 

[Peanut]

They did some of the best 2-man comedy skits ever...

My favorite is where Conway is a fireman and Korman succumbed to smoke inhalation.

 

[GrannyG]

Coronavirus update day 36: I’m not sure how many of you are still out there or are able to see this message. Most of my friends and family are gone now and I’ve been on my own for a couple of weeks. My food stores are getting pretty low so I will probably have to risk it and attempt to go scavenge for some food in the wastelands. I’m down to my last 700,860 surgical masks that have pretty much kept me alive up until this point and I have 2,000,000 bottles of hand sanitizer left. I’m not sure if that’s going to be enough to make it until summer. Hope I don't get the runs, because 84,431 rolls of toilet paper could go fast. My water supply is getting low too, I was only able to purchase 57,000 cases before the outbreak really got out of control. Luckily my 750 drums of gasoline are still full because I haven't left the house in a about three weeks. I will send out another update after my search for food is complete.

 

[RidgeRunner]

Yes they are

I watched a guy pull out of the boat ramp parking lot and as he made the turn onto the highway his boat slid off the trailer.

 

[phideaux]

I have several in stock...

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Violaters , most likely will be shot...

Jim

 

[phideaux]

If they don't grow, makes good fire starters...

Jim

 

[backlash]

Coronavirus update day 36: I’m not sure how many of you are still out there or are able to see this message. Most of my friends and family are gone now and I’ve been on my own for a couple of weeks. My food stores are getting pretty low so I will probably have to risk it and attempt to go scavenge for some food in the wastelands. I’m down to my last 700,860 surgical masks that have pretty much kept me alive up until this point and I have 2,000,000 bottles of hand sanitizer left. I’m not sure if that’s going to be enough to make it until summer. Hope I don't get the runs, because 84,431 rolls of toilet paper could go fast. My water supply is getting low too, I was only able to purchase 57,000 cases before the outbreak really got out of control. Luckily my 750 drums of gasoline are still full because I haven't left the house in about three weeks. I will send out another update after my search for food is complete.

Sounds like it's time to panic.
I went to Home Depot today and there was a woman pushing a cart full of paper towels out. She must have had 20 cases. They did have a lot of paper towels but they were not on sale.

 

[dademoss]

 

[phideaux]

Jim