Jokes and Humor

[Cnsper]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[zannej]

So, the World Health Organization (WHO) determined that dogs do not carry Covid-19 so they are no longer being quarantined.
WHO let the dogs out.

I apologize for not having a joke, but for Meercat I will say that I know what's hot and what's not. Don't say yes to a nuclear stress test.
I had my radiation detectors blasted by my chiropractor's X-Ray machine to test them.
Don't blink. The strongest they have is maybe 1.5 seconds.
The NST, they shoot highly radioactive material INTO your body that makes YOU far hotter for hours than any X-Ray beam you will ever face. I've posted the video of me running the detector over myself afterwards elsewhere here.
Sorry, I'll shuttup. View attachment 36873

I had it done twice. First time I showed up at 6am, they put the IV in & I sat there waiting & then it turned out they "lost" my medical records & had no record of my appointment. I had the appointment card & received phone calls to remind me of it. Doctor didn't get in until 8:30am so I sat there with the IV in. Then they gave me the stuff & I had to sit for 45 min and then go for 20 minutes in the MRI machine with my arms above my head. I sat for a few more hours before they injected me again and put me on the treadmill. Then back to the MRI machine for another 20 min. I didn't get out of there until after 2:30pm, but I had my Dad there with me to tell me jokes & keep me company.
Last time was a couple years ago & went faster but I was there by myself. I had borked both of my ankles by then so they decided to do the chemical stress test instead. First dose didn't work so they had to give me more. Gave me a massive migraine & made me nauseous as hell. That's when I learned from the nurse that lightly sniffing an alcohol swab could briefly alleviate nausea. MRI was much faster that time. I would take the tread mill over chemical testing next time.
I've had well over 30 x-rays in my life thus far so I'm at the point of not caring about the radiation.

Who remembers this one? One of my favorites!

I loved that one. IIRC, he actually peed his pants laughing and had to cross his legs to hide it.

 

[zoomzoom]

This is a favorite of mine from years passed. Dean Martin and Foster Brooks.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Sentry18]

 

[Sentry18]

 

[zannej]

This is a favorite of mine from years passed. Dean Martin and Foster Brooks.

Foster Brooks was great! They have footage of the roasts on Youtube and just bout anytime someone mentioned his name, Dean Martin would start cracking up. That whole drunk routine was hilarious!
I'm also fond of the Marx Bros.

 

[snappy1]

I'm also fond of the Marx Bros.

I'm an Abbott and Costello girl!

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[joel]

We were not aloud to tip cows. We had to wash them, milk them,feed them & clean up after them, after all that, all we want to do, was stay away from them!!!!!

 

[phideaux]

My lovely wife just found out that she doesn't qualify for a she shed...

So now she wants a bitch barn..

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Cnsper]

View attachment 37227
Jim

Rationing has begun.

 

[Sentry18]

 

[dademoss]

That is Y you should pay attention in biology class

 

[phideaux]

A note from my wife , on day 6 of our self quaratinement.

If I get quarantined with my husband...rest assured it won’t be the virus that kills him

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[backlash]

View attachment 37268

They misspelled Jeans.

 

[Amish Heart]

Yep! Just look! That's what I tell the kids if they say they might be "confused".

 

[Haertig]

 

[phideaux]

Mine is what it is..

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Yep, 2 new knees, a lightning strike to chest, quarantine..

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

I already did..

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim