Jokes and Humor

[dademoss]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[GaRp58]

AND YOU THINK YOU GOTTA BAD JOB!!!

 

[GaRp58]

How does a Redneck trim his hedge??


And then how does he have a grill party afterwards???


A Redneck ALWAYS KNOW HIS PRIORITIES!!!!

He was shooting at a VERY FAST BIRD AND MISSED!!!



But his dog likes to play with everybody !!


Sometimes he has fantasy ideas what to do, with his MIL:

 

[GaRp58]

Just some more funny stuff I collected over the years:

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[GrannyG]

 

[Peanut]

I saw a car on tv tonight that brought back a memory from long ago. My first car was a 65 Impala, metallic green, chrome rims, small block 400, racing heads and cam, holly 4-barrel, headers… loved that car.

I was about 18 and getting a haircut one Saturday morning. All the barber chairs faced the parking lot, big plate glass windows for the view.

In the parking lot I saw my best friend’s girlfriend who also happened to be my girlfriend’s best friend. She had just gotten her learner’s permit. She was driving her mother’s Mercury Marquis and her mother sitting on the passenger’s side.

She was having trouble pulling into the parking space beside my car. A 76/77 Mercury Marquis is a giant boat of a car for those who don’t remember.

Anyway, when she finally thought she was clear gassed it into the parking space… putting a big crease down my driver’s side door.

Talk about feeling helpless… I sat a watched it happen from the barber’s chair! Afterwards I was almost speechless because I couldn’t use any of the words I wanted to use for a dozen different reasons...

After all these years it's amazing how clear that memory is.

 

[Bacpacker]

That was an oh $hit moment

 

[Caribou]

That was an oh $hit moment

There are certain times when the auto edit of the forum is just not appropriate.

 

[Peanut]

Looking back... what happened was funny, I was laughing as I typed. At the time it was about as far from funny as it could get. It ended up a no harm no foul situation. Her dad owned a car lot and fixed/painted my door no charge.

Looking back it was an "Aww $hit and there's not thing one you can do about it" moment.

 

[dademoss]

She was driving her mother’s Mercury Marquis and her mother sitting on the passenger’s side.

She was having trouble pulling into the parking space beside my car. A 76/77 Mercury Marquis is a giant boat of a car for those who don’t remember.

Learned to parallel park in 1974 Ford Country Squire station wagon.

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Cnsper]

Learned to parallel park in 1974 Ford Country Squire station wagon.

You mean dock?

 

[angie_nrs]

I saw a car on tv tonight that brought back a memory from long ago. My first car was a 65 Impala, metallic green, chrome rims, small block 400, racing heads and cam, holly 4-barrel, headers… loved that car.

She was having trouble pulling into the parking space beside my car. A 76/77 Mercury Marquis is a giant boat of a car for those who don’t remember.

A 65 Impala will take up a fair amount of real estate in the garagle also.
They sure don't make em like they used to!

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[Cascadian]

I am so going to send my buddy a socket set to his work address.

 

[VThillman]

I saw a car on tv tonight that brought back a memory from long ago. My first car was a 65 Impala, metallic green, chrome rims, small block 400, racing heads and cam, holly 4-barrel, headers… loved that car.

I was about 18 and getting a haircut one Saturday morning. All the barber chairs faced the parking lot, big plate glass windows for the view.

In the parking lot I saw my best friend’s girlfriend who also happened to be my girlfriend’s best friend. She had just gotten her learner’s permit. She was driving her mother’s Mercury Marquis and her mother sitting on the passenger’s side.

She was having trouble pulling into the parking space beside my car. A 76/77 Mercury Marquis is a giant boat of a car for those who don’t remember.

Anyway, when she finally thought she was clear gassed it into the parking space… putting a big crease down my driver’s side door.

Talk about feeling helpless… I sat a watched it happen from the barber’s chair! Afterwards I was almost speechless because I couldn’t use any of the words I wanted to use for a dozen different reasons...

After all these years it's amazing how clear that memory is.

Peanut, whatever your intent, you have told a true horror story in the form of a vignette. The story has multiple emotional connections and several access points for the reader. "Oh, the horror!" And the helplessness!

 

[GrannyG]

 

[GaRp58]

Learned to parallel park in 1974 Ford Country Squire station wagon.

Learned in a '63 Chevy Biscane and a '64 Ford station wagon too

 

[VThillman]

Learned in a '63 Chevy Biscane and a '64 Ford station wagon too

I "learned" enough to get my license, and have avoided the situation successfully ever since.

 

[GrannyG]

 

[phideaux]

Jim

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Caribou]

deleted