Jokes and Humor
- Thread starter phideaux
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- Dec 9, 2017
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A guy stops at a saloon in the middle of nowhere. Above the bar a sign reads handies $10 hamburgers $5. He sheepishly asks the woman behind the counter do you give the handies? Why yes she says with a big smile. He replies oh well can you wash your hands I want a hamburger.
One of my buddies apparently?An unopened beer will float in the pool!! I'm a what?????
Two good old boys, Bubba and Wilbur go deer hunting, Wilbur has a brand
new 300 magnum and a scope on it you can see craters on the moon with. up on a
ridge, Bubba remarks you can just barely see his house from here, Wilbur looks through
his scope and says:
Aw my god Bubba, I see the Parson boy sneaking up your back driveway!
Bubba says "WHAT?!"
Yup, continues Wilbur, and Your wife just let him into the pool fence...and... Oh Bubba,
they're kissing up a storm and!...Bubba turns red with rage and screams:
"Shoot that little snot nosed wife stealer right in his butt! I'll swear it was a stray shot in court!"
Wilbur takes aim with his rifle and immediately begins to jerk the muzzle up and down.
new 300 magnum and a scope on it you can see craters on the moon with. up on a
ridge, Bubba remarks you can just barely see his house from here, Wilbur looks through
his scope and says:
Aw my god Bubba, I see the Parson boy sneaking up your back driveway!
Bubba says "WHAT?!"
Yup, continues Wilbur, and Your wife just let him into the pool fence...and... Oh Bubba,
they're kissing up a storm and!...Bubba turns red with rage and screams:
"Shoot that little snot nosed wife stealer right in his butt! I'll swear it was a stray shot in court!"
Wilbur takes aim with his rifle and immediately begins to jerk the muzzle up and down.
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2017
- Messages
- 12,685
Fun fact, so can demons.
A Liberal, pencil neck geek goes into a Mom "N" pop grocery and asks if he has any Pomegranate kiwi mineral water. the old guy looks at him and says:
"Just what you see." The little freak leaves.
BUT for the next week, right at noon, he comes back and asks if he has any Pomegranate kiwi mineral water. Gramps is getting sick of him, he says:
"Look boy, you are a boy right? I told you we don't carry none of that big city crap here, we're not going to either, so take your purple haired,Biden shirt wearing, Yankee butt out of here until you want to buy something else! The little geek throws his bird chest out and gets indignant!
"Oh yeah? you fascist Trump lover! and what will you do if I don't?!" The old man grins and says:
I'll staple your lower lip to the counter and have a butt kicking contest! The geek leaves with his nose in the air, but a few days later, he returns. "You got any staples old man?" he said. The old man straightened his hat. "Sorry boy, fresh out." He said. the geek grinned. "In that case have you got any Pomegranate kiwi mineral water?" Gramps chased him out of the store and up the interstate with a broad axe!
"Just what you see." The little freak leaves.
BUT for the next week, right at noon, he comes back and asks if he has any Pomegranate kiwi mineral water. Gramps is getting sick of him, he says:
"Look boy, you are a boy right? I told you we don't carry none of that big city crap here, we're not going to either, so take your purple haired,Biden shirt wearing, Yankee butt out of here until you want to buy something else! The little geek throws his bird chest out and gets indignant!
"Oh yeah? you fascist Trump lover! and what will you do if I don't?!" The old man grins and says:
I'll staple your lower lip to the counter and have a butt kicking contest! The geek leaves with his nose in the air, but a few days later, he returns. "You got any staples old man?" he said. The old man straightened his hat. "Sorry boy, fresh out." He said. the geek grinned. "In that case have you got any Pomegranate kiwi mineral water?" Gramps chased him out of the store and up the interstate with a broad axe!
That was a good one Magus. I can just picture that
