Rescue mission!! Don't wait and don't have anything but a bachelor's pad! It's not about fancy, it's about knowing you are REAL!!
The Ladies
- Thread starter d_marsh
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Yeah if you are in a serious line with this one, as soon as you meet her AFTER (IF) you jump the fliers bones, she will se a shadow in your eyes and know you are keeping something.
If she is as astute as you have told us you may as well write the obit for any further dating.
Right now you are in the line of one move from check so if you make a wrong move she will have you in check and the Cross Check will be the only way to respond if you can by moving from inferior position to Superior position.
To fail in any move will be a possible checkmate and failure.
It means you will both have to offer up something to move further in the game.
Advice, check up on daughter a little to see what she means by not wanting a stepfather before you meet her. and make it in a place were people know YOU, maybe not her.
If she is as astute as you have told us you may as well write the obit for any further dating.
Right now you are in the line of one move from check so if you make a wrong move she will have you in check and the Cross Check will be the only way to respond if you can by moving from inferior position to Superior position.
To fail in any move will be a possible checkmate and failure.
It means you will both have to offer up something to move further in the game.
Advice, check up on daughter a little to see what she means by not wanting a stepfather before you meet her. and make it in a place were people know YOU, maybe not her.
Nice teeth!
In my experience most ladies don’t expect too much from a single mans place. I’ve had more than one comment that they didn’t expect a clean house.
Chapter 7. The daughter.
Water boarded with coffee.
Yesterday I got a text message from a number I did not recognize. Turned out to be from the daughter of the Lady. She wanted to meet up, suggesting a place and time. At that moment I was distracted and asked if today would work instead. She accepted my counter offer. I agreed to meet her out of curiosity more than anything else. I have no experience with children at all, of any age. I do have experience with young women, but those experiences were not going to help to me here. As I went about my day, I must admit I started to feel some unfamiliar anxiety. My thoughts kept wondering about this meet up and what it was about. Is it even appropriate to meet up with her daughter? Should I be calling the Lady and asking her what to do? I decided to let it play out. This morning the the voice in my head said, “Text the lady”. So, I did with a very basic “Your daughter wants to meet up with me?” She responded with kiss emoji and “Oh really? Good luck with that.” That only created more anxiety.
It was easy to find her in the crowd of people sitting at tables sipping overpriced coffee-like drinks. She looks just like a younger version of her mom with a tiny bit more darkness to her hair. I quickly discovered that she is also 200% more assertive and direct. As I was sitting down, she started talking right away with no greeting. “My mom has been through a lot and is just starting to heal. Having a good looking guy to go out with has been awesome for her, but if you turn out to be a conman or an ******* and it falls apart, she may not recover.” I immediately hit her back with “So I am good looking huh?” She was not amused. I assured her I was not a conman but that I was an *******, adding “I try and contain it as much as possible but being an ******* from time to time is in my nature.” I got a little smile out of her with that, or maybe not and I just hoped it was a smile. Without being too open I told her I have a history of “underappreciated” relationships and am probably not the person I would want to date a loved one, but I was doing my best because I really liked her mom, and we were having a lot of fun together. I wanted to pound my fist on the table and shout “I gave up a filthy night of sex with the flight attendant for her!” but that seemed like a bad idea.
She made sure I knew that her mom was all about transparency and that the dentist / "douche bag" damaged her with lies and infidelity. More insights about mom were offered up and I took a few mental notes, the daughter talks a lot. She also let on that maybe she doesn’t have a relationship with her dad anymore either and a vague reference that made me think he was remarried to the dental assistant he cheated with. The word skank was used, preceded by the F-word, a couple times. The experience has soured her to fathers and father figures as well as dental assistants of any "skank" who would chase after them.
She requested that if our relationship comes to an end “don’t just ghost her or start seeing someone else or blame it on her”. She also suggested, which I found funny, that I reach out to her with advanced notice so she can help prepare her mom. In that moment I was completely confident that the Lady had nothing to do with this, just a protective daughter asserting herself. I took it all in good faith and thanked her for the advice, concerns and suggestions. She then semi-gently interrogated me for almost 30 minutes and finished up by saying “I’m the one that pushed mom into this, so I need to make sure it’s healthy.” I jut said “No you don’t.” The daughter just looked at me with a blank face. I added “Your mother is an intelligent woman who knows who she is. She had her heart broken and her life upturned which sucks, but she has clearly picked up the pieces and is moving on.” She broke eye contact with me as I continued “No matter what happens with us the experience will end up being part of her rebuilding a new life. Good, bad or otherwise our time together will move her divorce from the douche bag further into her past” She didn’t push back but acknowledged what I said with a heading nodding “Okay” and “Just be kind to her.” I promised I would.
She got up, said she had to go, came over and gave me a little kiss on the cheek as I remained seated. This caught me a bit off guard. Then she said “I guess you’re good looking for an old guy”, smiled and walked away. I was definitely not expecting the kiss but I already knew I was good looking.
Water boarded with coffee.
Yesterday I got a text message from a number I did not recognize. Turned out to be from the daughter of the Lady. She wanted to meet up, suggesting a place and time. At that moment I was distracted and asked if today would work instead. She accepted my counter offer. I agreed to meet her out of curiosity more than anything else. I have no experience with children at all, of any age. I do have experience with young women, but those experiences were not going to help to me here. As I went about my day, I must admit I started to feel some unfamiliar anxiety. My thoughts kept wondering about this meet up and what it was about. Is it even appropriate to meet up with her daughter? Should I be calling the Lady and asking her what to do? I decided to let it play out. This morning the the voice in my head said, “Text the lady”. So, I did with a very basic “Your daughter wants to meet up with me?” She responded with kiss emoji and “Oh really? Good luck with that.” That only created more anxiety.
It was easy to find her in the crowd of people sitting at tables sipping overpriced coffee-like drinks. She looks just like a younger version of her mom with a tiny bit more darkness to her hair. I quickly discovered that she is also 200% more assertive and direct. As I was sitting down, she started talking right away with no greeting. “My mom has been through a lot and is just starting to heal. Having a good looking guy to go out with has been awesome for her, but if you turn out to be a conman or an ******* and it falls apart, she may not recover.” I immediately hit her back with “So I am good looking huh?” She was not amused. I assured her I was not a conman but that I was an *******, adding “I try and contain it as much as possible but being an ******* from time to time is in my nature.” I got a little smile out of her with that, or maybe not and I just hoped it was a smile. Without being too open I told her I have a history of “underappreciated” relationships and am probably not the person I would want to date a loved one, but I was doing my best because I really liked her mom, and we were having a lot of fun together. I wanted to pound my fist on the table and shout “I gave up a filthy night of sex with the flight attendant for her!” but that seemed like a bad idea.
She made sure I knew that her mom was all about transparency and that the dentist / "douche bag" damaged her with lies and infidelity. More insights about mom were offered up and I took a few mental notes, the daughter talks a lot. She also let on that maybe she doesn’t have a relationship with her dad anymore either and a vague reference that made me think he was remarried to the dental assistant he cheated with. The word skank was used, preceded by the F-word, a couple times. The experience has soured her to fathers and father figures as well as dental assistants of any "skank" who would chase after them.
She requested that if our relationship comes to an end “don’t just ghost her or start seeing someone else or blame it on her”. She also suggested, which I found funny, that I reach out to her with advanced notice so she can help prepare her mom. In that moment I was completely confident that the Lady had nothing to do with this, just a protective daughter asserting herself. I took it all in good faith and thanked her for the advice, concerns and suggestions. She then semi-gently interrogated me for almost 30 minutes and finished up by saying “I’m the one that pushed mom into this, so I need to make sure it’s healthy.” I jut said “No you don’t.” The daughter just looked at me with a blank face. I added “Your mother is an intelligent woman who knows who she is. She had her heart broken and her life upturned which sucks, but she has clearly picked up the pieces and is moving on.” She broke eye contact with me as I continued “No matter what happens with us the experience will end up being part of her rebuilding a new life. Good, bad or otherwise our time together will move her divorce from the douche bag further into her past” She didn’t push back but acknowledged what I said with a heading nodding “Okay” and “Just be kind to her.” I promised I would.
She got up, said she had to go, came over and gave me a little kiss on the cheek as I remained seated. This caught me a bit off guard. Then she said “I guess you’re good looking for an old guy”, smiled and walked away. I was definitely not expecting the kiss but I already knew I was good looking.
I just logged in and found this!! 
Good job, you and her daughter! Nothing you didn't already know, but good to know what you heard!! Hope it helps her daughter!!
Good job, you and her daughter! Nothing you didn't already know, but good to know what you heard!! Hope it helps her daughter!!
I just logged in and found this!!
I knew the Lady was hurt by the cheating/divorce thing but did not realize the depths in which the daughter is angry and bitter about it. She is obviously protective of mom, but if she ever finds out that I have a particular set of skills she may hire me to rough up dad. Wonder if that would earn me bonus points with the Lady?
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oh man....you have grown a conscience...that's so sad ...
Yep, pretty soon we're gonna need a new 40 something teenager
Y'all leave him alone, it's nice watching him grow up!!
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it sounds like you are going to end up with 2 relationships now ( mother AND daughter_), so more complications in your life than you had before
I am going to back to what I thought originally which was I have a bad feeling about this
Oh that's what I need, more complications. On the other hand one could say I have had two dates in two days. Winning.
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what are you going to do if the daughter decides she likes you too? Big problem!
mom might be saying she doesnt want to be married and such again..but she is enjoying the romantical side of all this and is falling for him after being closed off for so long i am afraid.....i am afraid shes going to get hurt again...unless marsh is wanting some type of longer term thing.....if she gets hurt a crazy daughter might fly off the handle...make the border jumper look like tame apples.
The daughter is poor and barely educated. I am a gold digger now.
And this is why they don't know where I live. Lessons learned.
Nothing is going to happen with the daughter. She went from a 16+ year old victim of her dad's infidelity to her mom's roommate/protector. She doesn't trust people now and wants to read and inspect them for herself. So today it was my turn under the microscope and it seems like I passed. She texted a thumbs up to her mom after our meet up. She might not want a step dad but maybe she wants to see if every man her dad's age is a piece of ****. Plus now that I have a 'relationship' with the daughter I might be allowed through the front door of their place. One door closer to the bedroom.
I am surprised she didn't tell you, she was going to be the maid of honor at your nuptials.
Maid of Honor / Pallbearer because I would die before getting married. If Jill Biden can marry a corpse, anyone can.
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He was a perv when they got married, wasn't he?
Sorry, thread derailment.
I am with a couple of others. I think you will break her heart, whether you mean to or not. You are a player, a heartbreaker, and have finally met someone who is not so easily convinced that she needs you in bed. My opinion, she is trying to figure out how you would fit into her life, whether she admits that or not.
Oh yeah, pedo marriage that ended up as necro.
Maybe she will turn me into the perfect man, have her way with me and then toss me to the streets all broken and sad. Could happen. If I am representing her as weak willed or weak minded, that is my fault. She is neither.
I have never lied to her, I have never misrepresented who I am, and I have never once used the manipulation that I am well practiced in to her to do something she is not ready to do. I have allowed everything to proceed organically and transparently. I believe we will eventually end up in a mutually beneficial and very satisfying long term fun relationship without marriage, common law or otherwise. The more we spend time together the more I see the flaws and faults in every other relationship I have had. Flaws and faults she does not seem to have and we don't seem to have. But I cannot say we are physically compatible yet because I don't know. And I assure you some people are considerably more compatible than others.
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I hope we are both wrong, no broken hearts, no cast asides. I think some of us here are of the long term relationship mindset while some are joyfully and vicariously living through your experiences. 
I know my point of view isn't very popular or modern. And that's okay too. I'm not accusing you of anything.
I know my point of view isn't very popular or modern. And that's okay too. I'm not accusing you of anything.
The main thing is not to be like the ex.
Next thing is not to be intimidated.
The rest is just to play the hand you are given.
Next thing is not to be intimidated.
The rest is just to play the hand you are given.
I hope we are both wrong, no broken hearts, no cast asides. I think some of us here are of the long term relationship mindset while some are joyfully and vicariously living through your experiences.
I know my point of view isn't very popular or modern. And that's okay too. I'm not accusing you of anything.
Even if you were, I would have probably missed it. My emotion range consists of happy, hunting, horny and hating the left. Everything else is just data to be analyzed. The more data and feedback I get the better.
It's going to be a factor. However I have experienced very few partners who were not worthy of a repeat performance. The few who were not good at all, or maybe not compatible, were definitely not worth the effort. Then again I did not have any actual "relationship" with those people. We went from hello to horizontal in minutes or hours, not days or weeks.
Can I get an Amen from the congregation! Amen!
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What does ultra conservative in bed even mean?
I highly doubt that. She's in for the long seduction.
Just because someone seems to be conservative to any degree would not mean they are conservative in the bedroom.
Ultra conservative in bed has nothing to do with being a conservative person. Someone who is conservative in bed is like the old stereotype of, only with the lights off, missionary style, no sense of adventure, never does anything to surprise you or help you be pleased. I've known my share of women like that, and I've known everybody else's share too. That kind of physical relationship is very unsatisfactory to me. A woman who doesn't put any work into the bedroom doesn't do much for me...What does ultra conservative in bed even mean?
I highly doubt that. She's in for the long seduction.
Just because someone seems to be conservative to any degree would not mean they are conservative in the bedroom.
A kindred spirit. Welcome to the convo.
Yeah, some ladies are a freak in the sheets and others are basically living mummies. I prefer something in the middle that still leaves room for growth, exploration and experimentation. Have never really found it through. Just the two I already described or very close shades of the same color.
I've known some freaks as well, especially when I went to sow some oats after my divorce. That was when I did the things I never did as a young man. I would never have even fantasized about some of the experiences I had in my 40s, when I was a young man. Now I am more settled in my ways and I don't need any more such experiences.
That doesn't mean I want things to be boring, though. There's always room for a new experience or two...
Nice long phone call with the Lady last night. First thing she said "So, are you trying to trade me in for a newer model?" That was when it occurred to me that I went out to coffee with a 19 year old and at no point did I think of it as anything other than a completely platonic meet up to discuss her mother.
I just hit her back with "Nah, newer models aren't made as well as they used to be." Then it was all what are we doing tomorrow and wanna do brunch on Sunday? I of course refused to give in on the details of tonight but asked more about brunch. Guess it's going be a threesome... Uhh I mean it's going to be with me, the Lady and the daughter. Also made me wonder if that meant we would be waking up together Sunday or if she was making it known we wouldn't be or I am just reading to much into it.
I just hit her back with "Nah, newer models aren't made as well as they used to be." Then it was all what are we doing tomorrow and wanna do brunch on Sunday? I of course refused to give in on the details of tonight but asked more about brunch. Guess it's going be a threesome... Uhh I mean it's going to be with me, the Lady and the daughter. Also made me wonder if that meant we would be waking up together Sunday or if she was making it known we wouldn't be or I am just reading to much into it.
It may mean she is going to bring someone to drive her car home.
OR it could mean one of those "If we get to a real chance of cohabitation sometimes in the future you will have to be attached to BOTH of us (ie) make a commitment to both of them.
The woman as a Mate and the girl as someone she can depend on but not a father figure.
OR it could mean one of those "If we get to a real chance of cohabitation sometimes in the future you will have to be attached to BOTH of us (ie) make a commitment to both of them.
The woman as a Mate and the girl as someone she can depend on but not a father figure.
