Chapter 7. The daughter.
Water boarded with coffee.
Yesterday I got a text message from a number I did not recognize. Turned out to be from the daughter of the Lady. She wanted to meet up, suggesting a place and time. At that moment I was distracted and asked if today would work instead. She accepted my counter offer. I agreed to meet her out of curiosity more than anything else. I have no experience with children at all, of any age. I do have experience with young women, but those experiences were not going to help to me here. As I went about my day, I must admit I started to feel some unfamiliar anxiety. My thoughts kept wondering about this meet up and what it was about. Is it even appropriate to meet up with her daughter? Should I be calling the Lady and asking her what to do? I decided to let it play out. This morning the the voice in my head said, “Text the lady”. So, I did with a very basic “Your daughter wants to meet up with me?” She responded with kiss emoji and “Oh really? Good luck with that.” That only created more anxiety.
It was easy to find her in the crowd of people sitting at tables sipping overpriced coffee-like drinks. She looks just like a younger version of her mom with a tiny bit more darkness to her hair. I quickly discovered that she is also 200% more assertive and direct. As I was sitting down, she started talking right away with no greeting. “My mom has been through a lot and is just starting to heal. Having a good looking guy to go out with has been awesome for her, but if you turn out to be a conman or an ******* and it falls apart, she may not recover.” I immediately hit her back with “So I am good looking huh?” She was not amused. I assured her I was not a conman but that I was an *******, adding “I try and contain it as much as possible but being an ******* from time to time is in my nature.” I got a little smile out of her with that, or maybe not and I just hoped it was a smile. Without being too open I told her I have a history of “underappreciated” relationships and am probably not the person I would want to date a loved one, but I was doing my best because I really liked her mom, and we were having a lot of fun together. I wanted to pound my fist on the table and shout “I gave up a filthy night of sex with the flight attendant for her!” but that seemed like a bad idea.
She made sure I knew that her mom was all about transparency and that the dentist / "douche bag" damaged her with lies and infidelity. More insights about mom were offered up and I took a few mental notes, the daughter talks a lot. She also let on that maybe she doesn’t have a relationship with her dad anymore either and a vague reference that made me think he was remarried to the dental assistant he cheated with. The word skank was used, preceded by the F-word, a couple times. The experience has soured her to fathers and father figures as well as dental assistants of any "skank" who would chase after them.
She requested that if our relationship comes to an end “don’t just ghost her or start seeing someone else or blame it on her”. She also suggested, which I found funny, that I reach out to her with advanced notice so she can help prepare her mom. In that moment I was completely confident that the Lady had nothing to do with this, just a protective daughter asserting herself. I took it all in good faith and thanked her for the advice, concerns and suggestions. She then semi-gently interrogated me for almost 30 minutes and finished up by saying “I’m the one that pushed mom into this, so I need to make sure it’s healthy.” I jut said “No you don’t.” The daughter just looked at me with a blank face. I added “Your mother is an intelligent woman who knows who she is. She had her heart broken and her life upturned which sucks, but she has clearly picked up the pieces and is moving on.” She broke eye contact with me as I continued “No matter what happens with us the experience will end up being part of her rebuilding a new life. Good, bad or otherwise our time together will move her divorce from the douche bag further into her past” She didn’t push back but acknowledged what I said with a heading nodding “Okay” and “Just be kind to her.” I promised I would.
She got up, said she had to go, came over and gave me a little kiss on the cheek as I remained seated. This caught me a bit off guard. Then she said “I guess you’re good looking for an old guy”, smiled and walked away. I was definitely not expecting the kiss but I already knew I was good looking.