Chapter 926:
I was surprised and not surprised to find out we were going out to karaoke again, not that the place we were going to for the second time was just karaoke. In reality it was a very nice bar and restaurant as well, karaoke was just a side activity on most Wednesday and Saturday nights. Plus going there worked out fantastically the last time, so much so that the karaoke part of the date came to a noticeably rapid close in a very excellent way. I told her I wasnโt really prepared to sing but I could probably get through something familiar, presuming she wasnโt looking for a repeat performance of Elton. She said she just wanted to watch the show and spend time together and while I was free to sing at my discretion, she had no expectations that I would do so. She also tossed out a โWho knows, maybe I will sing this time.โ Which, I actually laughed off because I did not believe her. We ordered some drinks and settled in for the part of the night where people actual try to perform well, versus a few hours from then when drunken crooners would slur their way through songs wrongly confident that they didnโt sound like angry feral cats. The first several singers did a good job and I even recognized a couple of the songs. When the 20-something crowd gets up to sing I rarely have any clue what song they are trying to cover. I was never current with pop culture even when I was that age.
Imagine my surprise when they called her name. Actually I am not sure if surprised is a strong enough word. She was pretty adamant that she would never sing in public the last time we were here and while she listens to music all the time in its โpure vinyl formโ I donโt think I have ever heard her actually add her voice a tune other than a mostly quiet version of the birthday song at the supper club. After walking up that familiar flight of stairs onto the stage she positioned herself at the microphone. Tonight there was no band, just a talented disk jockey with full set of mixers, speakers and other gadgets. Either he was also running a cool light show or he had someone else doing it. I suddenly found myself watching things unfold from a very different perspective sitting alone at the table. The music started and I thought I knew the tune but I could not immediately place it.
I'm not in love. So don't forget it. It's just a silly phase I'm going through. And just because; I call you up. Don't get me wrong; don't think you've got it made. I'm not in love, no no, it's becauseโฆ
I like to see you, but then again. That doesnโt mean you mean that much to me. So if I call you, donโt make a fuss. Donโt tell your friends about the two of us. Iโm not in love, no no! Itโs because... Ooh, youโll wait a long time for meโฆ Ooh, youโll wait a long time.
I was fixated on her. I couldnโt look away. She looked so beautiful up there. Her voice was amazing. She sang through the verses and her digital backup singers and virtual musicians did her performance justice. I felt a weird sense of pride. I felt like people in the room should be jealous that she was with me, and then I felt like the only person in the room not on stage. I felt somethingโฆ I felt lots of things. And I will admit the words and tone of the song did not seem to match my exuberance.
Before I knew it, the song was over. I understood why she got up and marched right to me last time, but I was still in my seat clapping louder than anyone. I couldnโt get up. I was still taking it all in. I was going to wait for her to come to the table, but she was not walking off the stage. She did not leave the microphone. The applause went from loud and rousing to nothing. It seemed everyone started to notice that she remained in her place. For a second I thought she might sing another song, and then I realized maybe something was wrong. Now I was out of my seat.
I felt like every eye in the room went from her to me. I moved quickly to the stairs switching from adoring fan and boyfriend to concerned protector. She managed to slowly walk the 7 steps from the microphone to the top of the stairs and down a couple. We met face to face with my feet on the floor and hers a couple steps up. She had tears in her eyes and wet trails where more had run down her face. She had put herself out there and did something outside of her nature. And I knew she did it for me. I gave her a hug and lifted her off the staircase placing her feet firmly on the floor. I leaned in gave her a kiss and held her close as I tried to physically demonstrate appreciation and protect her from whatever she was feeling.
The room grew loud from a second round of applause as we kissed one another. My mind wondered if some of these same people were here not all that long ago when she drug me out the door following my mediocre but highly beneficial performance. I donโt even recall going back to the table but suddenly there we were sitting down as the next singer was covering a song by Jon Bon Jovi. She acted embarrassed as I gushed over her performance and bravery. The waitress stopped by with a basket of salty & sweet kettle corn and agreed that she did a great job. She couldnโt hide her smile and said โI wonโt be doing that again anytime soonโ confessing that she practiced the song in the mirror a hundred times before that night. I admitted to doing the same on my night. We continued talking, sipping our drinks and snacking on the unusual but fantastic appetizers this place had to offer. When his break arrived the DJ stopped over too thanking her for not singing the same old โTaylor Swift or Shawn Mendezโ songs. He gave her a fist bump and went over to the bar for a drink of his own.
It got late faster than we wanted it to and the time arrived for us to set off for her apartment. As we made our way through town we talked more about the night and her performance. She asked me if I liked the song she sang. Slightly puzzled as I had done nothing but praise her performance I said โYes, of course, I have been telling you that for hours.โ She said I misunderstood and asked if I liked the original song, the actual song by the band 10cc. I told her I had heard it before and it was a really good song. She began to tell me all about the band and how they made music using styles and instruments no one else was using at the time. Then she told me how the idea for the song came into the bandโs lead singers mind. The song was apparently written in response to his wifeโs comment that he didnโt express his love to her often enough. The band member, feeling guilty, countered that if he said โI love youโ all the time, the phrase would lose its meaning and its intensity. And thus โIโm not in loveโ was his way of telling her that when he did say it, he really meant it. The lady then, with less enthusiasm, mentioned that for a large part of her life she would say it because it was โjust what you sayโ even if you donโt really feel it. But the next time she says it, she will say it with purpose and she will truly mean it. After a short period of silence I responded by saying โI donโt think people should ever say something that powerful unless they are being completely honest with the wordsโ. I also confessed that those words have never really been in my vocabulary before, but one never knew what the future held.
The conversation lingered in my mind as we made our way to her home and as we shed our date night clothing. No such words were spoken that night, but we found another way to express how we felt about one another.
So put the bigger jar on the nightstand!
Changing your username to d_spoiled!!
Either that I might start working out shirtless in front of the 30-somethings...
