Jokes and Humor

[dademoss]

 

[backlash]

View attachment 121086

I tell people that I am a walking encyclopedia of useless information.

 

[Haertig]

View attachment 121086

My piano teacher used to tell me that your brain is like a Roladex. As you get older and have added more and more cards to the thing, it becomes more time consuming to find that one card you are looking for.

 

[Woody]

 

[dademoss]

My piano teacher used to tell me that your brain is like a Roladex. As you get older and have added more and more cards to the thing, it becomes more time consuming to find that one card you are looking for.

Mine is more like a desk and bulletin board covered with post-it notes

 

[jazzy]

best ever

The Cutest Burrito Unwrapping You'll See All Day​

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​

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[LadyLocust]

I tell people that I am a walking encyclopedia of useless information.

I tell people similar- that I know tons of useless information just don’t ask me anything important
Did you know zippers were invented in 1896?

 

[Sparky_D]

“A very poor woman called a radio station asking for help from God. A non-believer who was also listening to this radio program decided to make fun of the woman. He got the woman's address from the radio station and told his secretary to carry a large amount of foodstuff to the woman. However, he gave the following instruction, "When the woman asks who sent the food, tell her that it's from the devil.''
When the secretary arrived at the woman's house, the woman was happy and grateful for the help received. She started putting the food packets inside her small house. The secretary then asked her, ''Don't you want to know who sent the food?''
The woman replied, ''No, I don't care because when GOD orders, even the DEVIL obeys!

 

[Woody]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[angie_nrs]

 

[backlash]

View attachment 121121

Not even close. I would have to drink a lot more beer.
So that's a win for me.

Edit:
Yes it does. Not sure how I screwed up the first time.

 

[Woody]

 

[Woody]

 

[Lenny]

My girlfriend told me when she gets home she's going to paint her nails red.
She is going to be so happy that I did it for her.

 

[Haertig]

My girlfriend told me when she gets home she's going to paint her nails red.
She is going to be so happy that I did it for her.

That's how I used to make dummy rounds to test the action of my firearms. Take a spent piece of brass, pop the dead primer out, seat a new bullet - crimped very tightly so it never moves (it's not like the round will actually be fired!) - and then I used bright nail polish to mark the round as a dummy. I didn't want to paint parts that actually glide across parts of the firearm, so usually it was just the bullet (maybe just the front half of it) and the base's back end that goes up against the bolt face that got painted.

I have real dummy rounds for all my pistol calibers, but some of the rarely fired rifle calibers, especially bolt actions, got my home made "nail polish" rounds because it just isn't worth the expense to buy real dummies for as rarely as I needed to verify their actions.

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[jazzy]

 

[Supervisor42]

That's how I used to make dummy rounds to test the action of my firearms. Take a spent piece of brass, pop the dead primer out, seat a new bullet - crimped very tightly so it never moves (it's not like the round will actually be fired!) - and then I used bright nail polish to mark the round as a dummy. I didn't want to paint parts that actually glide across parts of the firearm, so usually it was just the bullet (maybe just the front half of it) and the base's back end that goes up against the bolt face that got painted.

I have real dummy rounds for all my pistol calibers, but some of the rarely fired rifle calibers, especially bolt actions, got my home made "nail polish" rounds because it just isn't worth the expense to buy real dummies for as rarely as I needed to verify their actions.

Don't get them mixed up with some of my rounds! :

 

[jazzy]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Neb]

View attachment 121161

Don't get it

Ben

 

[Supervisor42]

Don't get it

Ben

I am sure that I am not the only guy here that always gets socks and underwear for Christmas .
They know that we will not buy them for ourselves.

 

[Neb]

I am sure that I am not the only guy here that always gets socks and underwear for Christmas .
They know that we will not buy them for ourselves.

Ok

Thank you

The Princess handles that without my knowing.

Ben

 

[backlash]

Socks and under ware are just another one of mysteries of life.
They just magically appear in my drawer.

 

[Haertig]

Don't get them mixed up with some of my rounds!

Dummy rounds and tracers - about the two worst things you could possibly get mixed up!