You DO realize where your relationship is headed don't you?!
I suspect it won't be long.
I suspect it won't be long.
The Ladies
- Thread starter d_marsh
- Start date
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The final chapter: (please look for the sequel, "Love and Marriage" ): We woke up in a motel room in Vegas, still a little unsure of what happened! The gold band on my finger brought a brief smile to my lips as I recalled the ceremony from the night before! The Elvis impersonator did a great job ! I smiled more thinking about how we nailed the Elvis karaoke afterwards! As looked over at my beautiful lady, now my wife............... I'll let Marsh take it from here
Debbie dentist buys a big nice home....James Rockford buys a bunker or trailer out by the lake....daughter goes head over heels for her best buddy and all of you live happily ever after just like it is.
Very good possibility!
she was thinking...i would have babies with this man !!!
she just rolling it around in her head just how much she loves you....thats a huge portion of it.
you can tell words out your mouth and say things...but your inner brain conversations tell the truth....in her mind it uses the word love OFTEN !!
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The final chapter: (please look for the sequel, "Love and Marriage" ): We woke up in a motel room in Vegas, still a little unsure of what happened! The gold band on my finger brought a brief smile to my lips as I recalled the ceremony from the night before! The Elvis impersonator did a great job ! I smiled more thinking about how we nailed the Elvis karaoke afterwards! As looked over at my beautiful lady, now my wife............... I'll let Marsh take it from here
If you people are trying to get me to run back into the mountains you are doing a really good job.
I think she just analyzes everything in 6th gear at 133mph on the gray matter autobahn while my brain just sits and idles most of the time in the parking lot that is my skull. We had some pillow talk last night about that word and I asked her if she was happy, she said yes, so I said "then why would we want to change anything? We live together, we sleep together, we are committed, we are happy... seems like we're living the dream." She just said "You know what, you're right" and then she got all frisky like a cougar. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know for right now I am going to maintain the status quo until the time comes to take another step forward.
The final chapter will be put on hold until further notice
Not at all!!
You two seem to have something very special, and it may very well end in marriage.
That'll be up to the both of you, the if and the when!
"until the time comes to take another step forward." When that "Status Quo" Changes and they both remember what was in both of their Past Family Situations...!!!
"until the time comes to take another step forward." When that "Status Quo" Changes and they both remember what was in both of their Past Family Situations...!!!
So we are surely two halves of a whole and I will confess that it would take something both unlikely and insane to separate me from her, but I really hate the idea of institutional marriage. For whatever illogical reason civil unions don't bother me as much even though they too are just governmental intrusions into relationships, as are domestic partnerships. In my state if we live together and declare ourselves a married couple, we are common law husband and wife without any need for a license. But I am going to need to ask the lawyer how well that holds up in court when it comes to things like living wills and other legal scenarios. With her ex, her sister, he dad and who knows who else around that could be a real issue.
The real question here is, will she decide for both of us before I figure things out? I have somehow turned out to be the patient once, while she keeps talking me into things I initially didn't plan on.
Yes, there are serious legal issues between legal and common law marriages.
Depends on what state you are in!!
In my wonderful rainbow-loving state there are many built in legal protections for common law marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships mostly made into law back the days before gay people could get married.
From what I have read on a state specific legal site: under common law we would have full and equal property rights, equal financial rights and liabilities, inheritance rights, can file join tax returns, can have a living will and make medical decision and are essentially considered married under state law but not federal law. So the main downside is no shared or joint federal tax benefits, social security benefits, VA benefits, etc. The down side at the state level is if we ever wanted to split we would still need to die or go through the legal divorce process. And I am sure she would rather kill me than every get divorced again.
Couple other updates:
The stalker has stayed away completely and he did indeed withdraw from the school the girl goes to and seems to be going to a different school now. So I decided it was time to get the GPS tracker back, which fortunately wasn't that hard since I was able to track down his car! I will still watch his phone for a while but I feel like we are beyond the emotional reactionary stage.
The lady and I talked last night and I am going to give the cleaning crew and grocery service a try for a few weeks. I did my online shopping / list making for the personal shopper last night and plan to be here to receive and put away the groceries and monitor the cleaning service tomorrow. The lady was concerned that I am doing too much already and that I am going to burn myself out. I explained that I wasn't paying rent or anything other than buying food and that cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. was the least I could do. Then she climbed on my lap, got all kissy and started telling me that she was more than happy being my sugar mama and I didn't need to feel indebted in any way. She said that keeping her and the girl safe, well fed and happy were my only three jobs. Then she added that keeping her "satisfied" was included in the happy part. I jokingly asked for a $300 a month stipend so I could also get my hair cut and look handsome for her. When I went to get dressed this morning post workout and shower there were three $100 bills on my pillow with sticky note that said "I take care of my man!" Now I am trying to decide if I am going to give it back or just embrace the situation. I should have asked for $500.
The stalker has stayed away completely and he did indeed withdraw from the school the girl goes to and seems to be going to a different school now. So I decided it was time to get the GPS tracker back, which fortunately wasn't that hard since I was able to track down his car! I will still watch his phone for a while but I feel like we are beyond the emotional reactionary stage.
The lady and I talked last night and I am going to give the cleaning crew and grocery service a try for a few weeks. I did my online shopping / list making for the personal shopper last night and plan to be here to receive and put away the groceries and monitor the cleaning service tomorrow. The lady was concerned that I am doing too much already and that I am going to burn myself out. I explained that I wasn't paying rent or anything other than buying food and that cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. was the least I could do. Then she climbed on my lap, got all kissy and started telling me that she was more than happy being my sugar mama and I didn't need to feel indebted in any way. She said that keeping her and the girl safe, well fed and happy were my only three jobs. Then she added that keeping her "satisfied" was included in the happy part. I jokingly asked for a $300 a month stipend so I could also get my hair cut and look handsome for her. When I went to get dressed this morning post workout and shower there were three $100 bills on my pillow with sticky note that said "I take care of my man!" Now I am trying to decide if I am going to give it back or just embrace the situation. I should have asked for $500.
vacation money !!
It's gonna be date money for tomorrow night! I am taking her out for mini-golf and other games, then to an upscale hidden speakeasy that also does small plate meals. I had to drop $100 today to get a last minute reservation. The black haired woman manning the fake business in front of the speakeasy told me it would be 3+ weeks until I could get on the list, so I pulled out a Grant and asked of there was any way she could fit me in. She looked at it and said "Sorry daddy, that might get you a reservation for one". Then somehow, magically, after I pulled out a Benjamin an additional spot opened. And by the way she really did call me daddy, like three times, which was really weird. I think she was what they call an emo or goth or something that involved her real dad not going to enough of her dance recitals.
I still think you need to have some kind of ceremony , with your friends standing beside you in the meadow (hint).
I think you need a raise!! 
Isn't that for FUNerals...?!?
So the grocery people came and went. Was pretty slick and easy. The only sucky thing is that there was one item not available and so I either have to go get it myself somewhere else or just go without. They did select a couple reasonable alternatives for other unavailable items.
The cleaning people also came and went. That was a little more tenuous as they came inside and were running around cleaning. I locked up all the guns and valuables before they arrived, sans the ones on my person so I didn't have to worry about that. They worked quickly and efficiently and almost acted like I wasn't even there. The crew leader did ask a couple questions and commented that they did very little in the kitchen compared to normal. I took credit for that. The place looks really nice and the invasion of my privacy was brief.
So how much cash do you keep in your home? I put some stuff in the ladies bedroom safe and was surprised to find a thick envelope of cash inside. I definitely should have asked for more than $300. I used to keep a couple grand around but she had a lot more than that.
In other news, it seems the sister wants to meet me. What is happening? Why do all these people want to get-to-know me just because I am wrestling naked with a woman they are related to? I am going to push this one off as long as possible plus 13 months. If these people keeping popping up I am going to suggest we move to Poland. They need dental hygienists too and that area is always looking for people with certain skills.
The cleaning people also came and went. That was a little more tenuous as they came inside and were running around cleaning. I locked up all the guns and valuables before they arrived, sans the ones on my person so I didn't have to worry about that. They worked quickly and efficiently and almost acted like I wasn't even there. The crew leader did ask a couple questions and commented that they did very little in the kitchen compared to normal. I took credit for that. The place looks really nice and the invasion of my privacy was brief.
So how much cash do you keep in your home? I put some stuff in the ladies bedroom safe and was surprised to find a thick envelope of cash inside. I definitely should have asked for more than $300. I used to keep a couple grand around but she had a lot more than that.
In other news, it seems the sister wants to meet me. What is happening? Why do all these people want to get-to-know me just because I am wrestling naked with a woman they are related to? I am going to push this one off as long as possible plus 13 months. If these people keeping popping up I am going to suggest we move to Poland. They need dental hygienists too and that area is always looking for people with certain skills.
Date night!
Won't be too late as our post mini-golf 'reservation' is only good for 2 hours, then we get kicked out. But 2 hours is plenty of time for cocktails and a small meal. I am also cooking a full meal at home before we go, but that's for the girl and tomorrow's lunch. The lady told me I should not be cooking on date night, the daughter can just fend for herself. But when I told the girl I wasn't cooking she gave me the pouty look and pretended she might starve to death, so I conceded. Then the lady accused her of having me wrapped around her little finger before the daughter rolled her eyes and made a smart ass remark about her mom just being jealous. Let's just say it got kind of tense and weird. So I just engaged my commanding voice and told them both to "knock it off" , then added that I was grown man who did what I want and what I wanted was to cook for the girl and take the mom out on the town. Period. End of story. They both went quiet and soon thereafter everything seemed to go back to normal.
So maybe I will chalk this up to:
Apartment Life-Lesson #5: women get catty in enclosed spaces and need someone to take charge before things get out of hand. I may need to get a Taser for myself.
Won't be too late as our post mini-golf 'reservation' is only good for 2 hours, then we get kicked out. But 2 hours is plenty of time for cocktails and a small meal. I am also cooking a full meal at home before we go, but that's for the girl and tomorrow's lunch. The lady told me I should not be cooking on date night, the daughter can just fend for herself. But when I told the girl I wasn't cooking she gave me the pouty look and pretended she might starve to death, so I conceded. Then the lady accused her of having me wrapped around her little finger before the daughter rolled her eyes and made a smart ass remark about her mom just being jealous. Let's just say it got kind of tense and weird. So I just engaged my commanding voice and told them both to "knock it off" , then added that I was grown man who did what I want and what I wanted was to cook for the girl and take the mom out on the town. Period. End of story. They both went quiet and soon thereafter everything seemed to go back to normal.
So maybe I will chalk this up to:
Apartment Life-Lesson #5: women get catty in enclosed spaces and need someone to take charge before things get out of hand. I may need to get a Taser for myself.
They want to meet the future In-law.
I sent your lady a Taser, so you know, kinda look surprised the first time she uses it on you!
Chapter 103:
When you are exploring a new relationship dates are a way to get to know each other, explore each other’s interests, let down your guard and enjoy the moment, see how your partner interacts with others and allow your friendship to grow into something more naturally. When you are living together it’s almost a reminder that you are still technically “dating” and part of the means to have fun with one another outside of the confines of the shared residence. The build up to the first kiss, the first emotional connection, the first romp in the hay are all behind you so you have to keep things alive by continuing the chase regardless. Or at least that is how I have decided to logical process the idea in my mind.
With the forecast being mid-80’s and sunny I decided we needed some outdoor activity, to start out anyway. I found a fun air travel themed mini-golf course and adventure center geared toward adults, with mixed drinks, wine, craft beers and food. Fermented drinks and metal clubs; what could go wrong? We arrived and went straight for the bar. With a couple custom golf-themed beverages in our hands we collected our clubs and set off for 18 holes of fun. I was not surprised in the least to find that the lady was both good at mini-golf but also competitive at mini-golf. She loudly celebrated every great shot and was very displeased at every missed opportunity to get a stroke or two up on me. We both took turns being ahead of the other but in the end she was victorious, and I will definitely hear about for the rest of the night. To be fair to myself, I don’t have the same level of finesse that she has but I am considerably stronger which is not an advantage is in this particular game. The good news is mini-golf was not the only game they had to offer.
With a second beverage on our little table and a plate covered with freshly made chips and pub dip to snack on we started to play some digital indoor golf. There was a big screen and a faux grassy area where you could smack the ball with gusto and have the video replicate actual golf. This is where my enhanced strength came in very handy. We played a few different games like closet to the pin and who can whack the ball the farthest. She did not do poorly, but in these games finesse was less important. What was important was that this game restored balance to our win-loss record and her thusly her attitude. We waited for a time to get at the interactive dart game but fell into casual conversation and lost our opportunity as the place grew more and more crowded. We managed to get a 3rd cocktail down our throats before the time had arrived to continue on our adventure.
The Challenger provided us transportation to the next venue, which was cleverly concealed inside a vintage bookstore. With prohibition era charm one wandered around casually before opening a doorway concealed as a bookshelf and entered an upscale speakeasy. A speakeasy that not only looked the part, but featured over 500 different kinds of liquor and a drink menu that listed cocktails made from 1-200 year old recipes. Of course they also made it clear that their highly skilled bartenders could put together anything the customer wanted, if it existed or otherwise. With only 2 hours before our table had to be cleared for the next couple, we settled in and ordered a Cosmopolitan for the lady and a Sazerac for myself. We spent a little time savoring our drinks and talking about this and that. The lady is focused once again on buying a house and talked quite a bit about our individual finances and how they could become intermingled depending on our relationship status. Hint-Hint. She was also quite excited about investing the capital gains from selling the compound. The waitress returned and we decided to order items we could share with one another. We started with roasted bone marrow, bacon jam and ciabatta bread, then some fresh shucked oysters on the half shell with house mignonette, then a rack of lamb with garlic roasted butternut squash, grilled asparagus and a cranberry glaze. Two appetizers and one entrée that were all as delicious as they were filling. The lady followed up her Cosmo with a White Negroni while I went to the temperance menu for a non-alcoholic drink. I was driving after all and already had 4 stiff drinks in me. Fortunately their teetotaler drinks were almost as good and I ended up with something called an Imposter which had a spicy orange flavor but smelled like roses. I would bet 80% of people tasting it would have believed it to be an alcoholic beverage.
Once the plates were cleared we sat together holding hands, my arm around her, taking in the place and people watching at the same time. After some deep analysis and debate, we decided we were the cutest couple there. That was until the lady noticed a man and a woman, also sitting on the same side of their booth together holding hands. They looked to be in their mid-80’s and quite in love with one another. Right then and there the lady decided that we were paying for their meal regardless of their relationship or financial status. She called the waitress over, asked if they had eaten yet and was told no. As I paid our bill with my stipend money, the lady took handed over $200 plus tip and told the waitress to let them know their night was on us “From one cute couple to another”. Then we exited before they could figure out why gifted them a night at the speakeasy.
Turns out the lady loves doing things like this, and I mean loves it. All the way home, she told me story after story of how she had gifted things to different people at different times, always taking great care to be as anonymous as possible. She also told me how it all started when she and her very young daughter were in a grocery store, exhausted, stressed out and having forgotten her wallet at home, when an older heavyset black woman walked right up and swiped her card at the register covering the full cost of the diapers and groceries. She looked at the lady and said “Every mother needs a little help sometimes, there’s no shame in it”. The lady said the experience had a profound effect on her and she intended to pay it forward the rest of her days. Feisty, competitive and generous; who knew.
Of course this date night ended like almost every date night, only on this night we were both especially feisty, competitive and generous.
When you are exploring a new relationship dates are a way to get to know each other, explore each other’s interests, let down your guard and enjoy the moment, see how your partner interacts with others and allow your friendship to grow into something more naturally. When you are living together it’s almost a reminder that you are still technically “dating” and part of the means to have fun with one another outside of the confines of the shared residence. The build up to the first kiss, the first emotional connection, the first romp in the hay are all behind you so you have to keep things alive by continuing the chase regardless. Or at least that is how I have decided to logical process the idea in my mind.
With the forecast being mid-80’s and sunny I decided we needed some outdoor activity, to start out anyway. I found a fun air travel themed mini-golf course and adventure center geared toward adults, with mixed drinks, wine, craft beers and food. Fermented drinks and metal clubs; what could go wrong? We arrived and went straight for the bar. With a couple custom golf-themed beverages in our hands we collected our clubs and set off for 18 holes of fun. I was not surprised in the least to find that the lady was both good at mini-golf but also competitive at mini-golf. She loudly celebrated every great shot and was very displeased at every missed opportunity to get a stroke or two up on me. We both took turns being ahead of the other but in the end she was victorious, and I will definitely hear about for the rest of the night. To be fair to myself, I don’t have the same level of finesse that she has but I am considerably stronger which is not an advantage is in this particular game. The good news is mini-golf was not the only game they had to offer.
With a second beverage on our little table and a plate covered with freshly made chips and pub dip to snack on we started to play some digital indoor golf. There was a big screen and a faux grassy area where you could smack the ball with gusto and have the video replicate actual golf. This is where my enhanced strength came in very handy. We played a few different games like closet to the pin and who can whack the ball the farthest. She did not do poorly, but in these games finesse was less important. What was important was that this game restored balance to our win-loss record and her thusly her attitude. We waited for a time to get at the interactive dart game but fell into casual conversation and lost our opportunity as the place grew more and more crowded. We managed to get a 3rd cocktail down our throats before the time had arrived to continue on our adventure.
The Challenger provided us transportation to the next venue, which was cleverly concealed inside a vintage bookstore. With prohibition era charm one wandered around casually before opening a doorway concealed as a bookshelf and entered an upscale speakeasy. A speakeasy that not only looked the part, but featured over 500 different kinds of liquor and a drink menu that listed cocktails made from 1-200 year old recipes. Of course they also made it clear that their highly skilled bartenders could put together anything the customer wanted, if it existed or otherwise. With only 2 hours before our table had to be cleared for the next couple, we settled in and ordered a Cosmopolitan for the lady and a Sazerac for myself. We spent a little time savoring our drinks and talking about this and that. The lady is focused once again on buying a house and talked quite a bit about our individual finances and how they could become intermingled depending on our relationship status. Hint-Hint. She was also quite excited about investing the capital gains from selling the compound. The waitress returned and we decided to order items we could share with one another. We started with roasted bone marrow, bacon jam and ciabatta bread, then some fresh shucked oysters on the half shell with house mignonette, then a rack of lamb with garlic roasted butternut squash, grilled asparagus and a cranberry glaze. Two appetizers and one entrée that were all as delicious as they were filling. The lady followed up her Cosmo with a White Negroni while I went to the temperance menu for a non-alcoholic drink. I was driving after all and already had 4 stiff drinks in me. Fortunately their teetotaler drinks were almost as good and I ended up with something called an Imposter which had a spicy orange flavor but smelled like roses. I would bet 80% of people tasting it would have believed it to be an alcoholic beverage.
Once the plates were cleared we sat together holding hands, my arm around her, taking in the place and people watching at the same time. After some deep analysis and debate, we decided we were the cutest couple there. That was until the lady noticed a man and a woman, also sitting on the same side of their booth together holding hands. They looked to be in their mid-80’s and quite in love with one another. Right then and there the lady decided that we were paying for their meal regardless of their relationship or financial status. She called the waitress over, asked if they had eaten yet and was told no. As I paid our bill with my stipend money, the lady took handed over $200 plus tip and told the waitress to let them know their night was on us “From one cute couple to another”. Then we exited before they could figure out why gifted them a night at the speakeasy.
Turns out the lady loves doing things like this, and I mean loves it. All the way home, she told me story after story of how she had gifted things to different people at different times, always taking great care to be as anonymous as possible. She also told me how it all started when she and her very young daughter were in a grocery store, exhausted, stressed out and having forgotten her wallet at home, when an older heavyset black woman walked right up and swiped her card at the register covering the full cost of the diapers and groceries. She looked at the lady and said “Every mother needs a little help sometimes, there’s no shame in it”. The lady said the experience had a profound effect on her and she intended to pay it forward the rest of her days. Feisty, competitive and generous; who knew.
Of course this date night ended like almost every date night, only on this night we were both especially feisty, competitive and generous.
i am not one to be around others so much but anything like a book store or a library i am all for....as rough as i am if i could get in that place in my bib overalls i would go and like to see it at least once.
when i was in portland area i would venture to down town to powells book store thats reported to be worlds largest book store and risk city down town driving and all that weird parking etc. to spend hours looking at all the books.
if i am ever in that area..you are taking me to that place ! sorry you just are...i pay my way though.
when i was in portland area i would venture to down town to powells book store thats reported to be worlds largest book store and risk city down town driving and all that weird parking etc. to spend hours looking at all the books.
if i am ever in that area..you are taking me to that place ! sorry you just are...i pay my way though.
Nice. We have several but that one is only one fronted by a bookstore. Another one is inside an ice cream shop and one is the in the basement of an old hotel, but you question your life choices 2-3 times before you actually make it to the door.
The lady came home and wanted to talk about $. Apparently she called my wealth manager who wasn't overly cooperative with her because she is just my girlfriend. I can sum up her thoughts on the matter in 3 words: DID NOT LIKE. So now she wants to be added to the account and in turn wants to add me to hers, or "we could just go down and file for a civil union". She also said if I am worried about my money vs her money she will keep all of our funds completely separate and sign whatever they call the civil union version of a prenup. I told her I would think about it over, which was all she wanted at this point but I am sure she will ask me in a hour what I have decided. Maybe 30 minutes. Much of this is about her desire to buy a house and either not finance it at all or tactically finance part of it based on the interest rate versus rate of return.
ahhhh....NO !
its way way to soon....get her access via internet to mess with your stuff...but draw the line there as far as names and such......you guys are still just way to new of an item plus at this age and time in life you just dont recover from bad financial stuff...especially if you are on lower side of things vs. higher end of someone elses earnings etc.
but its so BOTH are safe from each others rath if things fall apart for one of a zillion reasons in this crazy modern world.
my 2 cents
i cant wait...my little trip headed out west i be stopping in and seeing hashbrown and alexander and smoke a little homegrown and catch some big trout...then go to one of these places with rockford and debbie dentist in a weird cool place and i bet rockford would fix it so i had a date with a librarian type that would play footsy with under the table even....drive back home stop and rest at harshbrowns one more time and head home!
dear diary...i lost my virginity on all kinds of levels on this trip.
the icing on cake would be if hash and me could blow a section of rock out in that quarry of his too.
