Jokes and Humor

[LadyLocust]

Not a joke, but cute.

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[LadyLocust]

 

[joel]

View attachment 93202

Filler in McDonald's Chicken nuggets!

 

[snappy1]

Please let us know!

The dog food I make tastes good. Chicken and beef stew.

 

[Pearl]

View attachment 93192

See, more ingredients for your money!!

 

[joel]

DW is home now, she had one of the burgers & she likes the vegan black bean burgers at the med center better.
When will they have a bug-ger in place of meat??

 

[backlash]

DW is home now, she had one of the burgers & she likes the vegan black bean burgers at the med center better.
When will they have a bug-ger in place of meat??

What makes you think they don't already have bug burgers now?

 

[joel]

What makes you think they don't already have bug burgers now?

As Long as it is not at five guys?

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Peanut]

 

[Magus]

The Princess loves cheese. May as well be a mouse. On multiple occasions she has said...

Stand back! He is going to do math.

Ben

Have you ever introduced her to the concept of spreads on her cheese like horseradish, brown mustard or jalapeno relish? Back when I hosted WWF parties I had a few standards:
Summer sausage
Baked ham
cracker baloney
4 kinds of cheese
2 kinds of cracker
jumbo pretzels
Hot mustard, horseradish, Onion dip, sweet n sour hell dip. Never had any leftovers except the stray beer or two or a half bottle of whiskey.

 

[Magpie]

 

[dademoss]

View attachment 93229

That gives me PTSD, Had a GMP corporate auditor tell me the salt was expired. Let me say, I was no longer allowed to talk to the auditors after I was done telling what REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED they were. Oh the stories I could tell about corporate MORONS.

 

[dademoss]

 

[Peanut]

That gives me PTSD, Had a GMP corporate auditor tell me the salt was expired. Let me say, I was no longer allowed to talk to the auditors after I was done telling what REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED they were. Oh the stories I could tell about corporate MORONS.

Once I accidentally shipped a big crate of garbage 800miles back to corporate. Made the shipping manager's head explode. Best part, it wasn't my fault. It was his, he hired the moving company that made the mistake. It was still funny... man wanted my head on a platter, melted down in front of a dozen people. Most of whom bought me a drink when I got back to corporate.

 

[Peanut]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Magus]

View attachment 93256

And another "Hold my beer and watch this:" moment was born.
Is south Georgia, Florida or Alabama leading in the Darwin awards
this year? My best Darwin moment was getting faced on Jose Quervo, getting strapped into a D9 tire with old seat-belts and rolled down a hill wearing an army pot helmet. I made a fantail of puke about halfway through the roll, hit an oak tree (and killed it.) bounced back 20 feet, somehow stayed upright and rolled into it again where I flopped on the side and passed out. BEST DAMN BYOB PARTY EVER!!!

 

[Haertig]

 

[Cascadian]

That was almost a tomorrow joke for me.

 

[dademoss]

 

[Sparky_D]

 

[Lenny]

My Dad had a visit from a neighbor.
He told my Dad that he found my name written in the snow.
My Dad said, "We all did that as kids. Why are you so upset?"
The neighbor replied, "It is my Daughter's handwriting!"

 

[Neb]

My Dad had a visit from a neighbor.
He told my Dad that he found my name written in the snow.
My Dad said, "We all did that as kids. Why are you so upset?"
The neighborf rancher replied, "It is my Daughter's handwriting!"

Too weird too process.

Huh?
.
Ben

 

[backlash]

Think about who is holding the pencil.

 

[joel]

Think about who is holding the pencil.

I totally miss the meaning, now I will never forget it!

 

[Caribou]

Oh Ye who lead sheltered lives.