Rant for the Day (keep it clean)

[Pearl]

Hoping all goes well tomorrow for you AmishHeart!!

 

[zannej]

Sending good vibes your way, @Amish Heart . Goshengirl was right that my intention with saying you should try to see things from the twins pov is is so that you can muster up some empathy in court. If you appear apathetic or angry, it may feed in to the image your granddaughter has created of you. The judge may fall for it the same way the judge and prosecutor fell for the bs of the old man who tried to kill my brother. My brother was angry in court and it came out in his voice. He couldn't help it. I was probably angrier than he was. But it made the judge think he was mean and intimidating to this poor pathetic old man-- the man who lied his butt off in court and the prosecutor knew it. He just wanted a conviction and the judge wanted his bonus for convicting.

When I went to visit my friend, the toddler still can't speak and has very little comprehension. At this point in life, my friend's daughter could speak and use his computer to browse funny memes and videos. My brother didn't come with me when I visited and she asked where he was. I told her he was sick and she said "Oh no! I hope he gets better soon". Meanwhile, the boy is only making babbling sounds with no actual words. I don't know if he's autistic or if its lack of interaction or both. But the fetus the mother is carrying is already in for trouble because the mother is vaping a lot. She knows its not safe and that it can cause brain damage/hinder development, but she doesn't care. She smoked while pregnant with the toddler. I wish I had a time machine to go back and slap the vape out of my friend's hand the first time he tried it and tell him "Hell no!" and not let him use it. Then I'd go to when someone gave his gf her first cigarette and slap it out of her hand and tell her I'd beat the hell out of her if she started that crap. She wasted so much of my friend's $ on cigarettes. And now she's spending his $ on e-cigs and vaping paraphernalia.

A pox upon the nicotine industry!

 

[Chaosdawn]

@Amish Heart I hope the meeting goes well for you! It's a tough situation.

 

[Weedygarden]

Prayers and thoughts for you today, Amish! I hope it all goes well. I hope that g daughter has sobered up. I did have a thought about your daughter who has taken g daughter's side. Maybe g daughter can go live with her!

 

[user 55]

Prayers and thoughts for you today, Amish! I hope it all goes well. I hope that g daughter has sobered up. I did have a thought about your daughter who has taken g daughter's side. Maybe g daughter can go live with her!

Amish, any updates on the outcome? Any decisions made or postponed like so much these day. Hope it's all gone well for you.

 

[Weedygarden]

Amish, any updates on the outcome? Any decisions made or postponed like so much these day. Hope it's all gone well for you.

Last time I looked, she was last on at 6 something this morning.

 

[Bacpacker]

I'm betting they are exhausted

 

[Hooch]

Bicycle riders on rural highways barely big enough for two vehicles..
I know we gotta share the road..but I doubt the sharing part invoked a vision of a rider on a bike 4 feet wide because they are riding cross country n have all those fancy side packs .
The bike lane beyond the fog line is only inches wide or barely exists at the worst.
...n the trail over here that spans 80 miles is right over a tad off the highway..but nope..gotta use the highway..
Gah...its great that folks have the time to bike America..but i wish they'd stay outta the dam rural mountain highways..

 

[goshengirl]

@Hooch totally agree. We’d get herds of bikeriders on our road (a lane and a half wide). I have no problem passing cyclists riding in a single file line, but these herds are all over the road, either unaware of a vehicle near them, or sometimes they’re just jerks. Once my husband found some trash up by the road - turned out to be “country route” for cyclists someone had printed off the internet. That explained why we’d get so many - our road was on some cycling club map.

 

[Amish Heart]

It took 3 hrs for that meeting this morning. The first hour was open response from people that granddaughter invited for her response. They told horrendous stories about how badly abused she is, and that she cries all the time about it. Her boss even said he can't imagine how horrible we are that she was punished for not filling the dog's water. We looked at the moderator, who was not moderating at all, and my husband addressed every single lie that was told. All of it. Then he said that we thought the purpose of the meeting was to come up with a recommendation as to where the kids would go and what they would do, as they are in protective custody. And if we weren't discussing that, we would be leaving. So the moderator and caseworker stepped in with apologies to us and wanted to move forward with the meeting. I said that I would like to know what the kids wanted to do, and that we would support that. So our grandson (via phone) said that they wanted to come home for a few weeks, then find a better place to stay that they like. Children's services said nope, can't do it. The boss and his wife said that they felt so bad for them, they'd take them in (as slave labor, because I know them), the granddaughter's boyfriend's mom said that she would take our grandson in, but that there would be rules (because of the need for referral to drug and alcohol counceling), but grandson can't stand them, so no. The school health nurse or something like that said she would take granddaughter, and the 20 ish friend of granddaughters said we were awful human beings, and she had to leave for work. So...the caseworker said that she would recommend that they return home. I told them that they do not want to go home. Grandson said they don't want to go to the grouphome. No fun at all. Their recommendation for court tomorrow is that they return home and need to go to individual therapy, trauma therapy (from life before us), drug therapy for grandson, and both need to have psychological evaluations. And that we have to have 5 hrs of family therapy a week. I told them that I needed support for discipline...when grandson is using illegal substances and when granddaughter is recording every conversation and calling the cops on us. The caseworker assured me I would be given a phone number to call 24 hrs a day to send someone out to deal with them. So we followed up with an email saying that all these appts need to be in place before they return home, and then we would feel comfortable. So, we'll see what court brings. All of those people who think we are evil and offered to take them in were reminded that we are legal guardians. We offered to give up guardianship in court tomorrow to the state, and they could decide who is worthy, they could get confirmed to be foster families, they could take them to their ton of appts, and the kids could sit in protective custody until they are approved. Otherwise, we would be financially and legally responsible for all that they do for the next 11 months. The caseworker confirmed that this would be the case. The boss wanted to show up in court tomorrow, and the caseworker said it was for relatives only. The health teacher/advisor did not like me because she noted I eye roll. That I do. Hard not to when I was listening to an hour of the craziest lies I ever heard in my life. The boyfriend's mom even gave a lecture on what is fear, and what is abuse. Why? I have no idea.

 

[Hooch]

Oh my...that's a terrible situation to be in. I hope it works out Amish heart , sounds like a long road ahead.

 

[Pearl]

Bicycle riders on rural highways barely big enough for two vehicles..
I know we gotta share the road..but I doubt the sharing part invoked a vision of a rider on a bike 4 feet wide because they are riding cross country n have all those fancy side packs .
The bike lane beyond the fog line is only inches wide or barely exists at the worst.
...n the trail over here that spans 80 miles is right over a tad off the highway..but nope..gotta use the highway..
Gah...its great that folks have the time to bike America..but i wish they'd stay outta the dam rural mountain highways..

We get them on our back roads, dangerous!!

 

[Amish Heart]

Thanks, Hooch. Long road for them...they asked for therapy, and I suspect that they'll have to have therapy every single day. No time for friends at the lake, boyfriend girlfriend stuff. I think that this will stunt their private life. No tennis everyday after school for grandson....therapy! They asked for it, and now they'll have it. Eleven months till they turn 18, and they will have social services in their face all day long.

 

[Pearl]

Thanks, Hooch. Long road for them...they asked for therapy, and I suspect that they'll have to have therapy every single day. No time for friends at the lake, boyfriend girlfriend stuff. I think that this will stunt their private life. No tennis everyday after school for grandson....therapy! They asked for it, and now they'll have it. Eleven months till they turn 18, and they will have social services in their face all day long.

They are going to learn "be careful what you ask for"!!!!

 

[ClemKadiddlehopper]

IMO do not let them come home. You are supposed to buckle and jump through hoops while the whole country slaps a lable on you and they invade what is left of your life. They will interfere with little grand daughter once they get an earful about her suffering. Those people want the kids? They can put their money where their mouth is. Self righteous ☆☆☆hats. For gosh sake, my parents and older brother beat me, stabbed and shot at me and a few other things, for real, but where was the help for that?

That whole line of bs is why we moved to a third world country to finish raising our kids. All three are productive citizens now inspite of our poor parenting. Our son just told us two days ago that we did the right thing or he would be having a completely different life now. He sure wasn't saying that, at the time. He sounded just like your grand daughter.

Just call this what it is; a rant.

 

[Weedygarden]

So our grandson (via phone) said that they wanted to come home for a few weeks, then find a better place to stay that they like. Children's services said nope, can't do it.

Grandson said they don't want to go to the grouphome. No fun at all.

Perhaps the group home will help them to understand that life was not as bad as they thought.
Sounds like they have convinced some people that you are horrible humans. All of them are going to get a wake up call about that, sooner or later, but probably later. They all deserve each other.

I wonder if they have been able to communicate between themselves, so she can convince him what she wants is what he should do?

I don't like to see you and hubby go through this, but perhaps the therapy that will be their daily friend may give them what they need, if they have good therapists. From my own experience, there are many people in the business of therapy who are worthless and not fit for that kind of work.

If they do get a good psych evaluation, I would guess that they may be diagnosed as having reactive attachment disorders from all of the bouncing around they did when they were younger. I have had students who were adopted who had some big personal issues, and I know a few who have been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder. Attachment Disorders in Children: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment - HelpGuide.org


A friend of mine and her husband adopted a baby from Korea when she was 6 months old. In Korea, babies who are surrendered are sent to live with foster mothers until they are adopted out. My friend is a gentle, sweet person. Baby was extremely manipulative and the older she got, the worse she got. For years, she would deliberately wet the bed so she could sleep in her parents room. Finally, the parents realized her game, and provided a mat on her bedroom floor for such incidents. She was so used to manipulating and having it her way, she lost her mind and had a fit in the middle of the night. Dad carried her back to her room and she was raging. There were many things over the years that she did that were so manipulative. She was brilliant, and that actually got in her own way. She was all about manipulating the parents, and she was in h.s. when she decided to throw a coffee mug at her mother and hit her in the face with it when she was not getting her way, again. This was not the first incident, but this is when they called the police and had her removed from their home. From there, she went to a lock up situation with other difficult teens. Ultimately, they could not control her in this facility for difficult teens! The recommendation was for her to live in an intense situation with other difficult teens, and to have daily group therapy. They lived out in the country in Utah and did lots of living off the land type activities. Then due to insurance changes, she was moved to Texas. Daughter decided to fabricate stories that she never let go of. One was that her father was sexually abusing her, because that would garner her all kinds of support from every person she encountered. "Poor me!" She eventually graduated from h.s. and parents went to her graduation. She continued with her stories of dad abusing her sexually, and her mother also being abusive. All fabricated, all lies, but she was never going to let go of that. At graduation, she asked when she could come home. Parents: when she came to terms with her problems and her abuse of them, including the lies. Nope! It happened to her! She decided to go to college in New Mexico, and her parents supported her financially. She kept asking to go home. Nope! I haven't talked to friend in a while, but I believe that there is no relationship with daughter, for their safety from her. What a waste of a beautiful and intelligent girl's life so far. I really believe that she has reactive attachment disorder.

This is the kind of thing that goes on with children who experienced difficult childhoods.

 

[Tootsie]

Amish, I am sorry that this is the thanks you’ve gotten for all the love and work you’ve put into the kids.
I’m with Clem, if you’re looking for opinions or advice. My gut feeling is that if they come back, life is going to be pretty miserable. The counseling and help that they will be given may end up reinforcing and worsening where they’re at now.
Some counselors are good, but they are too few. HEPA laws and bureaucratic guidelines keep everything confidential from you, as guardians or parents. A good counselor will try to put them on the right path, but most will sympathize with them, encourage them and show them how to beat the system, and get them to ‘endure’ you for the next few months until they can do whatever they want.
My prayers are with your whole family, you, your husband, and the kids. You know them best, but the world definitely has its claws on them.

 

[Amish Heart]

Thanks, guys, and yep, I'm really leary about counselors. But that was the "charge" being addressed, that supposedly the kids requested medical care (therapists) and we refused to get them one. That charge against us is supposed to be dismissed today, and the recommendation to give them back will be made to the judge, and the judge decides. Because we didn't go in there all whiney like begging for them back. We suggested to them that they see their school counselor to start, and granddaughter said she did last year. So the caseworker is trying to see if she really did. She is not believing her much at all. We'll see what today brings, court is afternoon. We are thinking we'll be stalling their return today by requesting that all of their recommended service appointments be set in place before returning. And boy, is there alot of them. And to top it off, they already have a pediatrician physical scheduled soon (the last one for the twins, ha), and older granddaughter has an appt to get driving eyeglasses. And then there's school starting in about 5 weeks. I really want them to get all of the services that they have to offer because they can then blame all the therapists and counselors and it'll appear that we falling in line for them. That will keep them very busy for the next eleven months, and then they can go their own way. Worst case and we will be their chauffeurs. I am thinking that all of "this" is going to be their court appointed mess they started. The state knows that they are almost adults, and we are throwing up our hands. All of the "supporters for the children" that were there at the meeting are all super concerned that they will not be seniors at their home High School, or be able to continue their jobs, if they don't live at home. I really don't care at this point.

 

[goshengirl]

Tootsie’s post is similar to what I would have said about therapists/counselors/psychologists, so I won’t belabor the point (other than to add that my sister is a psychologist, and they really do have a different view of life).

You’ve got your eyes wide open and know what’s what. Just sending you support across the miles.

 

[Bacpacker]

Prayers for you all to get thru this Amish

 

[zannej]

I hope it all works out, Amish.

The woman who wanted to adopt the dogs is a total flake. She gave me her life story and even said she might divorce her husband and that they were fighting about the dogs. He loved them and wanted to take them home but she said he was the one who backed out-- but I think it was her. She halfway dragged me into their issues but then after promising she was going to take the dogs told me they were not taking them and to cease all contact. I sent her one message back to thank her for helping me find info on dentists who take my friend's insurance and let her know I received the message. I won't send anymore messages.

I had a feeling she might back out. Anyway, now I have these two big dogs that are getting increasingly destructive and annoying that I have to rehome. I'm going to have to get them spayed and neutered so we don't end up with inbred puppies. There is a clinic that does it for under $100 each that I can take them to. At least the pups got new toys from the deal but unless I can get them to behave better, they absolutely need to get new homes. Anyone in central Louisiana area want two dumb dogs? LOL.

Part of the problem is they keep knocking the trash can over and tearing the bags. They knocked it over 20x yesterday and last night. My brother is using it as an excuse to not touch the trash. He threw chicken bones in the trash knowing they would go after it when he could have put the bones inside plastic containers that were trash. I understand his frustration, but even before we had the dogs, he refused to pick up any trash and now he's saying he can't/won't do it bc of the dogs. There is a disconnect in his brain about who has to do the work if he doesn't. He accused me of "playing the victim" when I pointed out that he doesn't think he should have to do any sort of chores in the house even though he doesn't contribute to any bills and he's not asked to do much.

 

[ABR]

I don't even have the words to describe how angry I am right now. Got a text from my friend this morning saying that they found 2 puppies in the dumpster behind a kids summer program. It is well over 100°F here and some terrible excuse for a human being decided to dump their unwanted puppies in a DUMPSTER! She couldn't take them home because she already has 3 dogs and her kids are special needs. All the shelters they called were full and one said they could take them but they'd be euthanized today with another group of dogs. I told her fine bring them to me and I'll either find a no-kill rescue out of town or foster them until I could find homes. So now I have 2 puppies that are around 8-10 weeks old in addition to all my other animals. Went by the feed store and picked up puppy food and wallieworld for cheap little collars. Made appointment for them at my vet for first puppy shots and exam Thursday morning because that's the earliest they had. Still stopped in at vet to weigh them and pickup dewormer to start tonight. Have them set up with a pen in the shady part of the yard that stays about 20-25° cooler with a extra large bowl of water for the moment.

 

[zannej]

It was very sweet of you to take them in ABR.

The lady who wanted the dogs is waffling. Apparently she is going to have hip surgery in a couple months and is worried she won't be able to take care of dogs but she really wants them and her husband wants them but she's super stressed and having panic attacks. I told her no pressure and to make her health a priority and she can vent to me if she wants. She really is nice and I think her husband is too. The dogs really liked both of them. She did at least give me some leads for my friend's dental. But now she is saying she might still take them. I'll take that with a grain of salt and proceed as if she's not and if she ultimately takes them then I'll be happy, but I'm still looking for homes for them.

 

[Wingnut]

It really sucks that so many domestic animals are being euthanized in shelters... due directly & indirectly to the deliberately-manufactured grief being created by dirty globalist swine and their political tools. So many perfectly good animals being put down for all the wrong reasons... because folks are struggling to make ends meet and they're unwilling to take on any more expenses, or they don't have the necessary time to devote to the animals. Another good reason to loathe & detest the scumbags ultimately responsible for this situation...

I'm still trying to figure out a way to rescue some kittens, but I have to be sure I can set up the low-cost spaying or neutering. This is not a good area for that sort of endeavor... and something like 140,000 animals are abandoned or relinquished to shelters every year in NM. That sucks... breeding should be outlawed until the situation is rectified. Damn all dirty globalist swine and their political tools for causing such grief... the rotten b@stards. Not only do citizens have to put up with their BS, but thousands upon thousands of perfectly healthy animals who need loving homes get killed instead.

In a perfect world, all globalist scum and their political tools would be euthanized... and good riddance to the dirty swine.

 

[Amish Heart]

Was in court for a number of hours, so two days in a row. Hoping tomorrow will be uneventful, it's all been a big pain in the butt. So we waited for 45 min past time while the kids lawyer talked with them. In the meanwhile we were given a summons to appear on July 26 for allegations of verbal abuse. It said that we would be deemed fit or unfit to guardian at that time, and would lose guardianship if we were deemed unfit. Paperwork was processed thru by the kid's lawyer. So on to court. The judge seemed good, asked lots of good questions to the kids and to us. The kid's lawyer requested the kids go to our granddaughter's boss. The caseworker requested that they go home. I discussed our guardianship agreement with the judge, since a guardianship nowadays is unusual. The caseworker said the temp situation at the bosses house would not do under guardianship unless the dept took responsibility while they were there. So that was taken off the table. Granddaughter got upset, and both kids were taken out of the room. The lawyer came back in and said the kids were worried about retaliation if they came back. Ha. As if they have successfully been punished. The judge then decided that they were to go back to where they were until the caseworker could arrange a family therapist for us all to talk with at the facility and then bring them home. I questioned the summons that we were handed, that the judge knew nothing about. She questioned the lawyer, when I asked why they would be sent home in the next few days if in two weeks we may be deemed unfit. She said the wording was old, and not to be concerned, but just show up. That didn't sit well. So...the caseworker is supposed to call when a therapist can meet us there. Hopefully not tomorrow. And Thursday is not good for us, although our daughter decided not to come visit. And Friday is fine, but protective services do not want to work a full day Friday. Went to my favorite cousin's house to pick up little granddaughter. Turns out her son, a VP of a bank here, is BFF with the lawyer. She was calling him. Another one of her sons was going to the bosses place to set them straight about the lies granddaughter told him about abuse. Small towns are small towns. Twins were super upset that they are stuck in "protective custody". It's their own stupid fault, and we have nothing at all to do with it or about it. The judge was feeling the bad attitudes of the twins, and I think that's why she made the decision she did.

 

[Weedygarden]

Twins were super upset that they are stuck in "protective custody".

Too bad, so sad, not. I think is one of the best things for them now! They can reap what they sow.

The judge was feeling the bad attitudes of the twins, and I think that's why she made the decision she did.

This is good. They do not have everyone convinced that you are evil and that they were abused. I'd bet that granddaughter had a couple buddies who she talked to about how to set this whole thing up and to convince people about "the abuse." She worked them for a while, and expected that she would convince everyone in court and through this process.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

 

[Magpie]

My rant is mild considering what others are going through- it's these new phrases that seem to have crept into society, along with overuse of words, such as hero, that dilute the true meaning of the word.
I can't think of them all right now but along the lines of 'Window of opportunity' 'super-spreader'
But the best was on the news, where the journalist was outlining whats going on in the British gov. I quote- " Well all this has been going on in real time since Monday..."
Real time? As opposed to what? Is there a time I don't know about?

 

[Chaosdawn]

@Amish Heart I agree with @Weedygarden, I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm glad that the judge (and hopefully others) are seeing the bad attitudes. I'd leave them in protective custody as long as I could, that's what they wanted apparently.

@Magpie That's one of the most idiotic things I've heard in a while. Unless we're in the Matrix, there's nothing but real time.


I have a small rant, my head hurts. I forgot that one of the antibiotics I have to take gives me a headache, which isn't fun on top of the swelling and pain I already have. At least it comes and goes. I'll live. lol

 

[Neb]

Was in court for a number of hours, so two days in a row. Hoping tomorrow will be uneventful, it's all been a big pain in the butt. So we waited for 45 min past time while the kids lawyer talked with them. In the meanwhile we were given a summons to appear on July 26 for allegations of verbal abuse. It said that we would be deemed fit or unfit to guardian at that time, and would lose guardianship if we were deemed unfit. Paperwork was processed thru by the kid's lawyer. So on to court. The judge seemed good, asked lots of good questions to the kids and to us. The kid's lawyer requested the kids go to our granddaughter's boss. The caseworker requested that they go home. I discussed our guardianship agreement with the judge, since a guardianship nowadays is unusual. The caseworker said the temp situation at the bosses house would not do under guardianship unless the dept took responsibility while they were there. So that was taken off the table. Granddaughter got upset, and both kids were taken out of the room. The lawyer came back in and said the kids were worried about retaliation if they came back. Ha. As if they have successfully been punished. The judge then decided that they were to go back to where they were until the caseworker could arrange a family therapist for us all to talk with at the facility and then bring them home. I questioned the summons that we were handed, that the judge knew nothing about. She questioned the lawyer, when I asked why they would be sent home in the next few days if in two weeks we may be deemed unfit. She said the wording was old, and not to be concerned, but just show up. That didn't sit well. So...the caseworker is supposed to call when a therapist can meet us there. Hopefully not tomorrow. And Thursday is not good for us, although our daughter decided not to come visit. And Friday is fine, but protective services do not want to work a full day Friday. Went to my favorite cousin's house to pick up little granddaughter. Turns out her son, a VP of a bank here, is BFF with the lawyer. She was calling him. Another one of her sons was going to the bosses place to set them straight about the lies granddaughter told him about abuse. Small towns are small towns. Twins were super upset that they are stuck in "protective custody". It's their own stupid fault, and we have nothing at all to do with it or about it. The judge was feeling the bad attitudes of the twins, and I think that's why she made the decision she did.

Thanks for the update @Amish Heart .

We went through the court system after my X reported my father of abusing my son. Spare details. Cost me lawyer fees but my lawyer did not pass up the opportunity do a speech before it was done.

Forgive me for saying it but...

Aside from counselor meetings and hearings try look at it as a vacation from the stress of dealing with 17 year olds for a bit while they come to realize how good they had it.

May God smule on you and yours!

Ben

 

[zannej]

Amish_Heart, how do you feel about the family therapy idea? If you lose guardianship (which you probably won't) would that mean the younger granddaughter would have to leave too?
Kids are impulsive and I don't think the kids really thought this through. Granddaughter probably thought she'd get to stay where she wanted and not have rules. Sounds like the grandson just went along with it. Reminds me of my friend's gf. There is a disconnect in her brain when it comes to consequences and reality. She thought that if she got someone to buy her scrubs and a stethoscope it meant she could be a nurse, but she doesn't even have a GED. Likewise, granddaughter probably thought calling cops would be some magical fix.
The lady who told me not to contact her again tried to call me twice yesterday but I didn't have my phone on me so I missed them. I'm still hoping she will take the puppies but am not sure. I will make other arrangements if I can.